"Our Folk" and RSVP

MrClintonsFirstLady09

I  know that when you pray to God for something that you are to be "prayer specific" because you will get exactly what you asked for. Well, I asked for folks to follow instructions and send back their RSVP before the deadline. And for the most part we have been getting them back with little or no reminders given.

Now I received 6 in the mail today. Two of which were very disturbing. One person sent back their RSVP and it read:

"So and So Adams and 4 other people". WTF??????!!!!!!!!!!!!

The next one was the person's name and her sister which was cool we kind of figured she would bring her sister with her. Please tell me why she has two other names in addition to her and her sister. Those of whom I have NEVER MET or even had a conversation with and FI has not seen in like 15 yrs. Are you effin' kidding me?

I am not really sure they know what proper ettiquette is but how can you bring along folks who are not relevant to a wedding and expect for the bride and groom to feed them? I told FI that if these extra other folks come, I am going to need at least $17 a head because that is what it is going to cost me to feed these extra people. We were trying to stick to having our intimate number of 60 ppl. no more than 70. We are going to go over that by at least 15 folks if this keeps up. All I could do was shake my head on the way to work while checking off the list.

What would you do in this instance because I am blowed right now! And I know FI isnt going to say a thing to these folks. Then he gonna have me looking like the Bridezilla when I speak up.

YasJas2011

LOL!!! These folks are just crazy! I would politely call the main person and tell them that space is limited and that they are allowed to bring one guest! SMH!!! People are just a pure mess! I just know that it is going to be crazy when we send out ours!

eagles347

I would either call myself or have someone who is helping closely with the wedding (planner, parent, MOH, etc) call and explain that while tracking responses, you realized that there was a misunderstanding regarding who was invited. I would explain that while you and your FI would love to celebrate your wedding with everyone that you know (or in this case, don't know), it just isn't possible due to space (or budget if you feel comfortable having them in your business). However, you would really like for the original invitees to celebrate in your day despite not being able to bring additional guests.

winter443

4 other people????? What is wrong with people? SMDH.  Although it may be uncomfortable you will have to let them know they can't bring these extra people.  What makes them think they can invite people to someone else's wedding???

I think eagles made a great suggestion though, if you don't want to call have someone else do it for you.  I also like the explanation she used when you have to break the news to your guests.

mahoganieyes

That's so rude! Not 1 extra person but 2-4 people. Call them or they will keep adding more people.

PB-Bride2010

OMG.....I agree with the other ladies on how to address the issue.  However, I really don't think "our folks" understand they can't be doing that.  I feel they think that its acceptable and treat it just like any other social gathering/party.  Hell its a wedding there is such thing as proper etiquette. SO SAD....WE DO THIS!!! 

MrClintonsFirstLady09

Thank you ladies for your input thus far. I have definitely told FI that these people will be contacted and told that all these extra heads are not acceptable unless he plans to come out of his pocket with the extra cost. Just like he threw a fit with me inviting people that I went to church with and practically grew up in the church with from the time I could recognize what a church was, I feel like he should have the same rules applied to him. He understood where I was coming from and said that if these other two people come that they are going to have to pay for their meal and I don't think it is wrong for asking since they took it upon themselves to be like oh yea I am coming with you.

VelvetElegance

I'm dealing with a similar situation now and it defies logic how ppl just make decisions about what's acceptable for them as a guest. I would hate to have security and folks at the door checking names, but I will. Our list (and budget) and I can't have folks crashing my wedding.. And what is it with family who thinks they don't have to send back the card, because well, we're family?? WTF..

missrekaeagle

Our ppl.... *SMH*....this is the part of planning I'm not looking forward to!

TysWife2Be

What a shame! I hate when people do that...they were not invited for a reason...and you dont know them either...OH NO!!!

But I WISH that sh*t out here was only $17 a head...I would LOVE that!!!

adgenya

Wow! I wouldn't even give them the option to pay. That'd be a big "nope, you can't come phone call."

desi2002

see, i know people are going to do that to me. Im just gonna call everybody or they can rsvp on the web page. I need to know EXACTLY who is coming. Sheesh, people just be adding folks like it's their event or something.

dawnbeatty

I agree I would have to call them and tell them that I can't accommodate the extra people. 

I'm really worried about this for us too - so I had our RSVP's say: ___ seats have been reserved for you.  And this way we can determine how many people are invited.  If they deviate from this well then that will definitely get them a phone call from either, my FI, me or our DOC. 

desi2002

I like that dawn...hmmm

DSTbride15

This same thing happened to me and I was so put off. Like I really couldn't believe people would have the audacity to put down 4, 5 and 6 folx, yes 6 people. I called folx and said, we would love to have you celebrate with us, but my budget does not allow for me to accomodate 6 of you. Please let me know if you and 1 will attend? I person decided they weren't coming if all 5 couldn't come, which I was like ok cool. They probably would have given a crappy azz gift anyway.

How about all my family that did not friggin reply and I had to call each one of them. My mom was like what's wrong with calling people. If I wanted to call, I would not have sent their azzes an invite along with a stamped RSVP card, SMH....

People just don't get it

MrsJJohnson2B

SMH!!  So Sorry your going through this! I agree with calling them ... People just dont think!