What to do about OUR people....vent

MrsBoss2012

I really hate to stereotype and say black people this and black people that but I really think this is a BLACK peole issue. They do not understand wedding invitations. Now luckily I secretly numbered the RSVP's because I am getting so many back that are blank on the M____________ line. Even my own MOH/BFF was like "so do I write my name on the line?" Are you serious? Ya'll don't know how to fill out a wedding RSVP. FI said "well there are no instructions. It wasn't really spelled out." I mean its something you just KNOW! Others are marking down that 4 people are attending but only wrote one name so we still will be making phone calls.

Also it seems NO ONE is going to the wedding website otherwise I wouldn't be getting all of these calls and texts asking if we are registered, can they bring kids, someone asked what time is the ceremony. It's on your invite! The wedding website was on the STD and in the insert of the inivte pocket. So I answer the question like "We are registered at blah which can be found on our wedding website which was indicated in your inivation suite (dumb @$$)."

I am active on my local board where I am one of like 3 black girls and the "other's" don't understand our problems. Their people fill out the line correctly and they go to the website. When "we" comment about our difficult guests they have no clue. I put in so much hard work in all of this and it seems to be for nothing. My people or maybe just my group of family and friends are so ignorant. How else can I get the word out? I am not open for a facebook blast because there are too many people who are not invited.

VENT OVER

soontobehasrouni

LOL.....girl, you know how your people can be


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_what-to-do-about-our-peoplevent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:68cbb927-2b0b-4e10-b928-a8a708805e29Post:1f599257-7f0e-4beb-82ba-6e5dc1c5b505">What to do about OUR people....vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I really hate to stereotype and say black people this and black people that but I really think this is a BLACK peole issue. They do not understand wedding invitations. Now luckily I secretly numbered the RSVP's because I am getting so many back that are blank on the M____________ line. Even my own MOH/BFF was like "so do I write my name on the line?" Are you serious? Ya'll don't know how to fill out a wedding RSVP. FI said "well there are no instructions. It wasn't really spelled out." I mean its something you just KNOW! Others are marking down that 4 people are attending but only wrote one name so we still will be making phone calls. Also it seems NO ONE is going to the wedding website otherwise I wouldn't be getting all of these calls and texts asking if we are registered, can they bring kids, someone asked what time is the ceremony. It's on your invite! The wedding website was on the STD and in the insert of the inivte pocket. So I answer the question like "We are registered at blah which can be found on our wedding website which was indicated in your inivation suite (dumb @$$)." I am active on my local board where I am one of like 3 black girls and the "other's" don't understand our problems. Their people fill out the line correctly and they go to the website. When "we" comment about our difficult guests they have no clue. I put in so much hard work in all of this and it seems to be for nothing. My people or maybe just my group of family and friends are so ignorant. How else can I get the word out? I am not open for a facebook blast because there are too many people who are not invited. VENT OVER
Posted by MrsBoss2012[/QUOTE]

[Deleted User]

hey tray *waves*

Girl it's almost over.  Put mama and her share-ish ways to good use.   I know she knows all the details, ask her or your moh to field these phone calls, I'm sure she'd love to help and it will get them off your back.   

I'm just curious, did you list the website info on the std or invitation?   Oooh *lightbulb*  the guests that you know don't *internet*  have mom talk to them.  The guests that you know do, have moh do it.   Send em a spreadsheet with their delegatees phone numbers and ask them to track responses.  

The revolution may not be televised but there'll be a videographer and we do not want him to catch you looking like the beginning stages of a stroke. 

MrsBoss2012

Girl the website was on both! The STD's went out in February. That site has been up for a minute. And you wouldn't believe that these are not internet-less people I'm talking about. Not grandma and 'nem. I must say the last 4 weddings I have been invited to only 1 had RSVP required and that same 1 was the only one with a wedding website. I understand this may be new for our folks but I took the time to include all the info neatly in one pocket. Please read it all from top to bottom.

M1ssJ

Sigh... I am going to attribute this to most of our people not having formal gatherings. Rest assured you are not alone. They just gove you a blank stare and act as if all the words on the invite are greek.... sigh

kittybutton

This is why I made our invites simple as Hell...its our name where and time NO KIDS/ADULT ONLY Where we are registered and the deadline date. Call 888-888-8888 or visit our website to rsvp. So far so good. I know my people, they need simplicity. SMH and the dumbness though lol

eneh2012

I feel the same way but my biggest problem are my single cousins wanting plus ones despite the website and their invite making it very clear that's not ok. So what I did is called my aunt who is the regulator in my family to make sure everything is crystal clear to everyone! She is going to spread the word and throw a few threats to make sure this foolishness is taken care. I recommend this to anyone! Lol she's handling all that so people won't call me and ask.

20pearls16

Forget the numbers I filled in the names of the questionable people I thought would send it back blank. I'm glad I did because they still didn't make a simple check in one box or the other. I had to call them anyway, but at least I knew who to call!

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_what-to-do-about-our-peoplevent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:68cbb927-2b0b-4e10-b928-a8a708805e29Post:9a9f3232-0cc7-4280-b2a7-11f4da75f89d">Re: What to do about OUR people....vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Forget the numbers <strong>I filled in the names of the questionable people I thought would send it back blank</strong>. I'm glad I did because they still didn't make a simple check in one box or the other. I had to call them anyway, but at least I knew who to call!
Posted by 20pearls16[/QUOTE]

*runs to get notebook*

MrsBoss2012

FI wanted to write in the names ahead of time and I just knew it was going to be a headache. Headache on the front or back end? Take your pic. I will be calling both mom's and putting them on duty to get names and tell people to go to the wedding website. There is an FAQ page for all of your questions!

sheikscorpio88

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_what-to-do-about-our-peoplevent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:68cbb927-2b0b-4e10-b928-a8a708805e29Post:f475182f-1bd3-4110-9f20-6950f4e71025">Re: What to do about OUR people....vent</a>:
[QUOTE]hey tray *waves* Girl it's almost over.  Put mama and her share-ish ways to good use.   I know she knows all the details, ask her or your moh to field these phone calls, I'm sure she'd love to help and it will get them off your back.    I'm just curious, did you list the website info on the std or invitation?   Oooh *lightbulb*  the guests that you know don't *internet*  have mom talk to them.  The guests that you know do, have moh do it.   Send em a spreadsheet with their delegatees phone numbers and ask them to track responses.   <strong>The revolution may not be televised but there'll be a videographer and we do not want him to catch you looking like the beginning stages of a stroke. 
</strong>Posted by sultryzulu[/QUOTE]

Ha! Lol you are a fool for that. But I definitely understand where you are coming from. My FI said he has been asked so many times why we are having a wedding and not just going to JOP. I have no problem with the JOP but thats not what WE wanted to do. I guess some people feel weddings are unecessary like we're trying to be "bougie" or something which is so far from the truth. Weddings happen everyday!

[Deleted User]

pardon the ignorance but:

My FI said he has been asked so many times why we are having a wedding and not just going to JOP. I have no problem with the JOP but thats not what WE wanted to do. I guess some people feel weddings are unecessary like we're trying to be "bougie" or something which is so far from the truth. Weddings happen

I don't even understand the question.  everyone who's married has had a wedding, you mean why are we having a party?  *pops colla* mmmm, because we can playa.

soontobehasrouni

SMH.... this entire thread is making me giggle.

RealHappyGal

its not a black thing!!  Thats from my 11 yr old son. Who insisted that he should get an invite. I handed him invite, he filled out RSVP and handed it back to me.

shabuka1

Girl! i went/going through the same thing. I had one person write a message congratulating me on the M___________. I'm over here trying to do detective work by looking where it was mailed from to figure out who it was. Some of FI friends dont even know how to work a computer and had difficulty typing in our wedding website address. Like really must I teach a class on computer skills. So hang in there I just started ignoring people because after while you can only do so much.

keyaira04

I am not looking forward to this but I have a plan: I'm telling momma You make errors on the RSVP if you want to, but be prepared to deal with w/ Ms Val! Everyone I know invited will avoid this.  My momma don't games. Call me about RSVP; I'm referring you to Val, then hanging up.This is what our website says at the very end:

Please Note: All events are by invitation only.  The Mother-of-the-Bride will contact guests when errors are found.

CreoleBride30

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_what-to-do-about-our-peoplevent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:68cbb927-2b0b-4e10-b928-a8a708805e29Post:fc77b1c7-a668-4b1c-a104-c55d2ee2fd55">Re: What to do about OUR people....vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Girl! i went/going through the same thing.<strong> I had one person write a message congratulating me on the M___________. </strong>I'm over here trying to do detective work by looking where it was mailed from to figure out who it was. Some of FI friends dont even know how to work a computer and had difficulty typing in our wedding website address. Like really must I teach a class on computer skills. So hang in there I just started ignoring people because after while you can only do so much.
Posted by shabuka1[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>LMBO! Are you serious?!?! This is sad!!! I actually put instructions in my invites for the questionables for the RSVPs...hope that answers some questions that I know they may have...if they even read it.  I do think it is a cultural thing like PP said...some of us don't attend many formal functions...usually it's just casual get togethers. This is sad though. This is why we need to pass these skills on to the younger generation so we/they/our ppl don't be lost when it comes to formal functions. SMH

</div>

MrsSmith2Be02

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_what-to-do-about-our-peoplevent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:68cbb927-2b0b-4e10-b928-a8a708805e29Post:1f599257-7f0e-4beb-82ba-6e5dc1c5b505">What to do about OUR people....vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I really hate to stereotype and say black people this and black people that but I really think this is a BLACK peole issue. They do not understand wedding invitations. Now luckily I secretly numbered the RSVP's because I am getting so many back that are blank on the M____________ line. Even my own MOH/BFF was like "so do I write my name on the line?" Are you serious? Ya'll don't know how to fill out a wedding RSVP. FI said "well there are no instructions. It wasn't really spelled out." I mean its something you just KNOW! Others are marking down that 4 people are attending but only wrote one name so we still will be making phone calls. Also it seems NO ONE is going to the wedding website otherwise I wouldn't be getting all of these calls and texts asking if we are registered, can they bring kids, someone asked what time is the ceremony. It's on your invite! The wedding website was on the STD and in the insert of the inivte pocket. So I answer the question like "We are registered at blah which can be found on our wedding website which was indicated in your inivation suite (dumb @$$)." I am active on my local board where I am one of like 3 black girls and the "other's" don't understand our problems. Their people fill out the line correctly and they go to the website. When "we" comment about our difficult guests they have no clue. I put in so much hard work in all of this and it seems to be for nothing. My people or maybe just my group of family and friends are so ignorant. How else can I get the word out? I am not open for a facebook blast because there are too many people who are not invited. VENT OVER
Posted by MrsBoss2012[/QUOTE]

No, its not just your group of family and friends....its a Black people wedding epidemic. LOL Unfortunately, the vast majority aren't taught etiquette for formal events. Birthday parties come with evites and not regular invitiations so the RSVP is a click.....welcome to the 21st century.

MrsBoss2012

This process is going to drive me nuts. We have got to do better as a people. One person told me they were unable to attend. I said ok still send in your decline so I can keep track and plus I already paid for that stamp. She respons "HAHA you're so crazy!" I'm like no I'm so serious. You are one of 202 people. I am not keeping track of verbal responses.

MrsBoss2012

And I think a wedding website is the coolest thing. I couldn't wait to create one and no one even goes on there. Ugh.

RealHappyGal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_what-to-do-about-our-peoplevent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:68cbb927-2b0b-4e10-b928-a8a708805e29Post:dc8749cf-0e4d-4ba0-8277-61a9611dcab0">Re: What to do about OUR people....vent</a>:
[QUOTE]And I think a wedding website is the coolest thing. I couldn't wait to create one and no one even goes on there. Ugh.
Posted by MrsBoss2012[/QUOTE]

Dont feel bad about that T.  People MAY go on their one time or so, think about how cute your pics are and thats it.  How much time would u spend looking at some1 elses wedding website.  If you lucky u get a "congrats" on the sign in thing.  To me, its just a way for them to get the info if they loose the invite.