Washington-Seattle

Bouquet Toss Question

Since is is SO slow today, I thought I would ask you all a question that came up at the last wedding I went to (10/10/09).  This is just a silly question, and shouldn't be taken too seriously, just something to pass the time:What are the rules/ etiquette for the relationship status for the "single" women in the bouquet toss group?  Are engaged women allowed in?  This came up because a woman who was already engaged made a big deal of pushing/diving and catching  the bouquet at the wedding I attended.  Not that it is that big of a deal, but come on!  Give the ladies w/o the rings something to look forward to!I think engaged women should be in the toss group, but in the back and not so pushy to catch.  I wasn't engaged at the time (happened 10 days later) , and was kinda put off by already-engaged chick's behavior.  Bouquet tosses should be a fun time that is directed more to the single ladies.On a side note, I emailed my FMIL and let her know some of my wedding ideas (not for another 18 months), so I am excited to see what she has to say!
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Re: Bouquet Toss Question

  • edited December 2011
    Honestly, after I became engaged, I no longer took part in the bouquet toss. In fact a wedding we attended last October, the bride tried to get me to go in and I just held up my ring finger and said "Nope, I'm done!" I personally feel already engaged should not take part and as you mentioned, if they do, stay towards the back. I was a bit buzzed at that wedding and honestly, looking back, if I was sober I probably could have taken part to be nice to the bride. Even so, I still feel like I don't have the right to be in the group. :P Maybe Miss Pushy really wanted the bouquet because she thought she might not make it to the altar and really wanted to try to ensure it? ;)
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  • edited December 2011
    Well, to address the question, I don't know if there are 'official' etiquette rules, but my feeling is that engaged women want to participate, then they can but shouldn't be all pushy/grabby. However, gals who are engaged shouldn't be pestered by other people to participate either. We went to a wedding this past summer and people kept telling me to go join, but I'm like, "I'm engaged already." One gal got in and was rather pushy and she's married! That didn't seem right to me, but she's foreign born.On a personal note, I really don't like the bouquet toss. I always felt uncomfortable and only participated out of obligation. I am not doing one because at this point the majority of my friends are married and it would only be 2 or 3 gals, all of whom hate it.
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  • edited December 2011
    At our wedding and the weddings we've been to in the past few years, ladies who are engaged don't participate. For the most part I think it is kind of redundant because you know they are getting married already. BUT if there is a lack of single ladies present, i think it's OK for the engaged ones to participate. About that crazy engaged lady diving for the bouquet - completely inappropriate in my opinion and you were right to be put off by it. You have to wonder if she was having relationship issues at the time and needed some reassurance. :)
  • edited December 2011
    Silly me - I thought the bouquet toss was to see who was getting married next - so the women who already KNOW they're getting married need to step off.  Sit down.  Relax, you're done! PS.  I caught the boquet 8/8/08 and got engaged 9/14/08! :)
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  • mgoss228mgoss228 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Yay, I'm glad I'm not the only one to find it off putting for the already-engaged to compete hardcore in bouquet tosses.My group of friends are all in our mid-twenties, so the bouquet toss still has the whole novelty fun aspect to it.  I think I'll join the group (in the way, way back, out of catching range) until I actually get married, since I figure I will have the rest of my life to be an OMH :)
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  • edited December 2011
    I like your bouquet toss etiquette. If she catches the bouquet isn't she cursing everyone else to NOT get married until her big day?

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  • edited December 2011
    So I had this situation come up this summer at a wedding I went to. The bride and the DJ (who I also knew) insisted I participate. I wasn't planning on it since I am already taken and didn't see the point. But I figured if they were making me I would go for it. I ended up catching the bouquet. I felt bad about it, but at the same time if they make me participate I am going to try to catch it.
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  • edited December 2011
    I feel it was rather rude of that gal to push and fight for it...but I wouldn't say she shouldn't have been out there.I am planning on asking anyone who wants to come put and catch some flowers may...but let the truly single ladies be in the front (maybe saying something like that?) Really there aren't going to be too many single people so I don't want them to feel weird all by themselves...sort of like Jennifer Anderson in Picture Perfect (I think thats the name) where she is the ONLY one and finally has to tell the bride to just give her the flowers!I will NOT be doing a garter toss however. I would feel so WEIRD having FI up my dress infront of everyone! plus he is super shy so he really wouldn't like it either.
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  • edited December 2011
    Kare - FWIW, at my MOH's wedding the BM caught the garter AND the bouquet! It went clear over all us single women trying to catch it and he got it. So at least you wern't being THAT grabby. ;)
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  • edited December 2011
    Lol!
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  • edited December 2011
    I was in a wedding on 10-10 and I am engaged and wanted to participate. BUT, after I told the girls where to stand (because they weren't listening) I stepped off and was told to get back on. The bride tossed the bouquet and it landed on the floor and no one picked it up so I did. I might be a bad person but I don't care. Also, there were only older people in the group. The younger girls refused to participate. I didn't want my friend's toss group to be 2 chicks. :0)
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  • jeannigirljeannigirl member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Actually the whole thing about the tossing of the boquet is for single ladies that who ever catches it will be the next one to be engaged. If your married or engaged that puts you out of the running.
  • melissa82melissa82 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I thought it was whoever catches it will be the next one married? That's why I was hoping my best friend would throw hers because my wedding really is next, lol. I've always liked the bouquet toss, I am sad I can't do it anymore! I never caught one though, maybe because I'm not the pushing/crazy sort. Now that I think about it, the bride hasn't thrown her bouquet in the last three weddings I've been to so I think it's going out of style (in NJ anyway). I probably won't throw mine either.
  • edited December 2011
    I don't know what the rules are, but I doubt I'd participate now that I'm off the market. This did remind me of a funny story though. When my MOH got married, she deliberately tossed the bouquet to me (because everyone thought FI & I should be married), but one of her other BMs DIVE BOMBED me, and grabbed it! Turns out, I was the next to get engaged anyway (she did end up getting engaged a month after me). She's getting married a month after me also. So take that crazy BM! I think it's kind of silly, but I am gonna do it because I have this awesome balcony to toss mine off of!
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  • melissa82melissa82 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If I had an awesome balcony, I'd totally do it, too. ;-)
  • dmw_2010dmw_2010 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That woman?  Was definitely a little nutty and out of line.Personally, I'm with kstorkko.  My FI and I are in our late twenties/early thirties, and the bouquet toss hasn't really been fun for a while.  Most of our friends are married and it sucks to be the other single girl (aside from the kids) that are up there.  Ugh.  Which is why I'm not doing a bouquet toss at my wedding - it's just not that important to me, and I can't think of anyone that will be there that will enjoy it.
  • edited December 2011
    RE: sjlarobadiere's garter toss-related post... [IMG]http://i36.tinypic.com/15yhkbn.jpg[/IMG] Awkward, but funny :)
  • wsukarebearwsukarebear member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I got married a couple years ago and like to check in once in a while, so I hope you don't mind me posting. :-) I detested being pestered about tosses at any stage of my relationship, lets start with that. So, when I was engaged and thought I was in the clear of bouquet tosses for.ev.er. Yet, I was still at a wedding and being pestered with a ring on my finger. I always thought the bouquet was for the next to get married, and since I was already going to be next, it seemed redundant and/or unnecessary. ;-)
  • edited December 2011
    Csartini - Now THAT is a Kodak moment! :D   Kari - FWIW, we've got A TON of OMHs on here now. :)  You're always welcome!
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  • edited December 2011
    CSartini, i freaking LOVE that pic!! that dress looks soooo beautiful. I'm exciting I'm wearing it too. every time I see you in it i'm like.. i LOVe my dress.
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  • edited December 2011
    That picture is funny - but goodness does that bride have bazongas!
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  • edited December 2011
    KS - Glad I wasn't the only one thinking that! :D
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  • edited December 2011
    I quite like my Bazongas thanks you! :)
  • edited December 2011
    I would too if I were you!
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  • edited December 2011
    Oh! Haha, I didn't realize that was you in the pic. :) I'm reeeeaaalllly tired today. You are definitely blessed my dear! Or do you get back pain?
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  • edited December 2011
    They're really not that big... it's the dress I swear
  • edited December 2011
    i was thinking the same thing! glad  you say it's the dress. mine might need a cup added. :0)
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