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How do I do this without being rude?

sharonda1981sharonda1981 member
100 Comments
in African American Weddings

So the outline for our ceromony was sent to me by the chapel's Pastor and it is very long. It has all of our personal touches plus some of his. He has a two page Sermon in the outline he is doing before the declaration of intent. I'm reading it and he will be babling all over the place. I want his sermon cut down otherwise our wedding will be almost 2 hours. I know it will be 1 hour top with our personal touches and solo's but dang I don't want people sitting there that long. How do I say this to him? It is his chapel.

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Re: How do I do this without being rude?

  • purplehoneypurplehoney
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yeah but its YOUR wedding.. Im sure he gets this alot- if he does weddings often. Just express to him that u would prefer for him to keep it short... give him a time frame to work with. It will all be well :)
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  • cherryblossom5cherryblossom5 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It may be his Chapel,But it is Your wedding day. if there is changings that you want made. just ask him could you cut down your sermon please? state your reasons. if he is a man of Gd like he suppose to be he will understand.
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  • lil01lil01
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with pp. Let him know that you are concerned with the length of the ceremony & would like to suggest some changes. Then send him the outline once you've revised it. It is your wedding, so hopefully he will be understanding.
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  • Carla1019Carla1019
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree! My church and reception location are 25 minutes apart. We need my guests to leave on time to get to the food and drinks asap. LOL! My paster knows he needs to wrap it up quickly...
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  • prettymami2prettymami2
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So with that said ladies. How long do you think is fair for a pastor to go on with a sermon including your personal touches? My guess is 45 minutes to an hour and that includes the procession in.
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  • sharonda1981sharonda1981 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks lady's I will let him know. And yes prettymami2 I think 45min- an hour is a long enough wedding. I would be hungry or irritated with anything longer as a guest.
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  • simbidisimbidi
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am shooting for 30 minutes from start to finish.... but I have no readings or solos.  Just marry us and let us party!!
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  • sharonda1981sharonda1981 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_this-being-rude?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:6ae1c6f8-0e85-4c1e-96d1-c2d141048802Post:0c7ec031-d715-4337-80e2-8229ff9a155e">Re: How do I do this without being rude?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am shooting for 30 minutes from start to finish.... but I have no readings or solos.  Just marry us and let us party!!
    Posted by simbidi[/QUOTE]

    30 mins. is ok, I guess, but we didn't want a quick wedding. It's like all this money for a 15 min. wedding? No I don't think so. I have been to a few of those and I hate them. I'm like I came way out for that and then on top of that couldn't hear anything because the pastor has a low voice. No way not a my wedding. People will have enough time to enjoy my moment as much as I will.
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