African American Weddings

I feel bad, but I have to lie to him (guestlist)

Fi wants to invite everyone to this wedding but constantly complaing about the cost. He wanted a Saturday wedding which equals more $$$. Fine. Get ready to pay. Then he wanted this big wedding; where I on the other hand would've been more happy with a DW wedding and not a 200 gl. We split the list down the middle. 100 for me and 100 for him. Now this wedding been in work for 2 years now and I  had to make sacrifices and give up 25 of my seats to my fiance; he has a bigger family. Now I have 75 seats compared to his 125.

Well some months ago I found out on his mock guestlist, that he was inviting all these coworkers and I was upset. I gave him those seats for family and not current "new" friends. My fi is currently working 3 jobs but really 4. One job for 11yrs, second for 6 years and the newest for 1.5 yrs. His list consist of a lot of people from his newest job; job #1. I told him months ago that his list is over by 20, 25....thought it was all taken care of.

I go to count his list today and this man is over 14 and wanted to add 7 more. I told him to start cutting before these invitations are mailed out this week. He was able to eliminate 7. But still is over. Then he started naming names of people but I told him No. He sent these people save the dates....you can not univite them now. I told him to wait on sending these people std and now this man is looking foolish. Oh well!

But the kicker to this........(keep it a secret) but my list is under 12. Yes, I have 12 seats under and I plan on keeping it that way. Our banquet manager told us the final cost  depends on our final guestlist. If we come under 25 people, that can save us over $2k. Hello..we can pocket that money back or upgrade to things we really wanted. Just my list alone is saving us over $1k. So why would I tell him? That's not fair. Several of these people can be eliminated and I feel like he wants to be Mr. Popular. This a wedding and not a high school graduation party.

I feel like a bad bride but this man complains daily about working all these jobs and the cost, and we still have not paid for the honeymoon yet. I know not everyone will rsvp yes but if we go over, then that means a bill after the wedding.  I also have a feeling that he counted some people as a no +1 but in fact these people are in a relationship, so he might have someone asking about that.



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Re: I feel bad, but I have to lie to him (guestlist)

  • M1ssJM1ssJ member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Dilemma dilemma but I can't blame you for witholding the info lol

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  • edited December 2011
    Don't blame you one bit. Don't tell him nothing
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  • edited December 2011
    What he don't know, won't hurt him...lol
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  • island07b2bisland07b2b member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Totally agree with everyone...keep it to yourself.  Shoo!!  LOL!



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  • prncszprncsz member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I definitely agree and wish I had done he same with FI he invited everyone he ever knew. granted most of these people are not declining invites because they haven't seen him in years they are just fb friends but he just had to send them invites. Everytime I get a decline from his guestlist I laugh then text him to tell him and he gets all upset (not really but is just like WOW they not coming). One day he will learn to listen to me!!! But I get excited everytime one declines we are 100 people over our guest list. So I completely understand where you are coming from. I'll never tell!
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  • edited December 2011
    Your secret is safe with me.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_feel-bad-but-lie-him-guestlist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:8115dfdc-b65d-4d88-bddb-206e67ed10d5Post:8ac49304-c05e-4d1e-9589-0f3d8c2439cf">Re: I feel bad, but I have to lie to him (guestlist)</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Your secret is safe with me.
    </strong>Posted by vfriday[/QUOTE]

    HEHEHEHEHE :) ...safe with me too! lol ...i feel so sneaky now..hahahahaha but I don't blame you! Good strategy!! I may have to do this with my mom.
  • edited December 2011
    Your not twelve under...... there is $83.33 sitting in each of dem chairs and if he finds out tell him that.
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  • edited December 2011
    Yeah do not tell him.  He will thank you later :)
  • edited December 2011

    I was right! lol Thanks ladies!



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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_feel-bad-but-lie-him-guestlist?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:8115dfdc-b65d-4d88-bddb-206e67ed10d5Post:617b851c-3939-4f5e-b6f5-43f6f8dedf46">Re: I feel bad, but I have to lie to him (guestlist)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your not twelve under...... there is $83.33 sitting in each of dem chairs and if he finds out tell him that.

    Posted by pinkcottoncandy7[/QUOTE]


    I love how you put it! TRUE TRUE TRUE
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  • edited December 2011
    Agree with the ladies. He'll be alright...lol.
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  • DancerppfDancerppf member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It' s sweet that he's so excited and working so hard to give you guys a great wedding. But i'm in cahoots with everyone else.  
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