Any Interracial Couples out there???

suppahipbride

Any other inter-racial couples out there? Are you miximg in African American culture and your fiance's culture in the wedding? Anyone jumping the broom? are you making your broom? i have to say, the choice of interracial cake toppers out there SUCKS!!!!!!After looking for hours and hours online each day, we finally found a cute one that wasn't clownish. Do you find that you get treated differently by some vendors when you and your FI come on together(i.e for tastings, or meetings)? Are there any family issues because of the race difference? I find that it is still more readily acceptable to see Black men and White women together as oppossed to Black woman with a Non-Black man.What do you think????

bbyckes

You don't have to use an "inter-racial" couple cake topper.  Flowers work just fine or even something else. 

Someone else recently posted about getting an Inter-Racial board started - perhaps you should contact Knot Annie and inquire as well.  You can email her at ajones@theknot.com.

Good Luck!

desi2002

my hubby is west indian, and I am bi racial. So kinda. We dont get wierd vibes from vendors, but his mom treats me like I dont know what black is.  One time she dissed me for my hair. She was like, make sure you wash your hands after doing your hair cause it's so... long. Like "long" was a disgusting thing. She thinks that my family and I walk around with our noses in the air. She thinks that I come from a rich family, and that my taste is expensive.

wheatney22

I am in an interracial relationship. Folks have been really nice to us. Considering we are getting married in MA (my hometown). I was a little concerned given the fact that there aren't a lot of mixed race couples and I was expecting "looks" but except for when we were walking around Newbury Street in Boston carrying my nephews who are black and asian (yeah...quite a sight), we have been treated fairly well.

For our cake topper, we are going to do bubble heads. My FI had mentioned it a while back and I laughed it off. Then I was watching a wedding show the other day and they suggested doing that as a way to add "character" to the cake. So that's what we'll be doing.

I am Nigerian so we'll be having a traditional Nigerian engagement party the night before. Hosted by my family.
His mother is Italian so we'll be giving away Italian wedding cookies as favors in boxes. I think my folks want to add more "nigerian culture" to the day of but so far, I am just gathering suggestions and told them we'll think about it.

Hope that helps...

Welcome and happy planning!

OFF

We haven't had any problems with vendors everyone has been fine.  I had a problem at this one snooty bridal shop but other than that everyone has been professional.  But we also live in a big city that has a lot of ethnicities so that helps. 

For a cake topper we went with bunnies see my post below.  I really didnt want people and all the interracial cake toppers I saw looked silly.  And we wanted something a little more cutesy goofy that reflected us. 

Our parents have been totally fine.  My mom loves the FI and his parents have been totally great to me.  We're really lucky that way. 

We're not doing anything cultural for our wedding.  I wasn't feeling jumping the broom or having to explain to FI or our guests the meaning behind it.  And the Soviet Union really didnt have any traditions that we'd want to incorporate (poor chic with a side of herring isn't a theme I wanted to go for) and we didnt want to go back to tsarsist Russia for ideas. 

amberlynned

FI is Indian and I am Black. He gets more looks from Black men than I do from disapproving Indian folk. Our families are WAAAY cool with it.

We are doing two separate ceremonies to represent both cultures evenly. We had one american engagement party and one indian engagement ceremony. 

In the American ceremony we will be jumping the broom and the bouquets will have cowry shells as decoration embellishments. 

In the Indian ceremony we will have a sacred fire, use the garlands, and take our seven steps together.

For the reception the dinner will be a combination of soul food & indian food. 

For the dance music, we will play hip hop & bhangra.

We essentially tried to respect both cultures equally and do it full out... Hey, you only have 1 wedding right? LOL

GL!!!

ladylum

IFI is German, Irish and Yugoslavian and I'm just the plain black woman. lol

My FI and I get looks A LOT because we are in the South, especially now that I am pregnant. Most of the looks are not friendly either. We have shocked some vendors but they quickly replace the shocked look with a professional one and we have not been treated differently so that's good. Money talks, especially now in this economy.

Our ceremony is simple and doesn't really have any cultural theme but because we both love sci fi, it does have sci fi themes there.

We ended up ordered a cake topper that you assemble together. We had to do some adjustments to it. (FI is shorter than I am, he's dirty blond and I'm wearing a red dress) but it works.

My siblings and I were raised not to see race, so they don't care. They were more worried that FI would be good to my son (and he's awesome!). They already call him brother-in-law and love him like a brother. FI's mother and his sisters are thrilled that he found a good woman but his father's side are racist and do not have anything nice to say to him or me. It helps they live in a different state.

StephB1185

Well, it looks like I'm the flip-side of this coin!  I'm white and my (soon-to-be) FI is black.  I actually asked him one day about jumping the broom and he really didn't even know what the heck I was talking about!  Not a lot of his family members (aunts, etc.) including his mother are married, so he hasn't been to a lot of African-American weddings, I guess.  Once we actually start planning, I hope he can decide what he wants to do - then I wonder what my role should be in the jumping??  Other than that - we haven't done any planning, but hopefully we don't get comments or negative vibes from vendors.  We are in St. Louis, and it seems to be pretty common, or at least accepted. 
As far as family goes, it was a struggle for a while, his mother couldn't understand why he didn't try to find a black woman, and my parents thought I was being rebelious -- but after 3 years, they've figured out it's not a 'phase'.  Our only issue is my dad.  He has refused to walk me down the aisle, or even talk to FI.  Everyone else has been amazing and supportive (except his mom, she can't understand that I CAN take care of her son just as good (if not better) as she could!

happe2gether

We've been together for so long that I guess it's just normal for us now.  I've always had it in the back of my mind how we'd combine both sides of the family into the wedding and it's going to be a task.  My family is Baptist (and strong in it) and his family is Catholic based with a few other religions. So I'm trying to understand how to combine them both or at least acknowledge them.  We aren't doing any AA traditions because I just want to have a combined feeling to it all.

Both sides of the family are more than excited about the nuptuals - even though it's 2 years away.  I'm actually having an anxiety attack now because of the size of the guest list.  I'm told I'm marrying the "golden boy" of his family ( and I can believe it) so ALL of his family will be there (he has 16 aunts and uncles on one side alone). Plus my family has been calling him my husband for years.  My grandma is totally in love with him so I've got all the blessings I need.

Here are a few sites that I have looked at before with interchangeable cake toppers.

http://www.thatsmytopper.com/category/008946.shtml

http://www.meltingpotgifts.com/caketoppers.html

Good luck to you!
http://www.wherebridesgo.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Store_Code=W&Screen=CTGY&Category_Code=ETHNIC-CAKE-TOPS

kikibird

Hi everyone!  I lurk over here occasionally but figured I should finally say hi!  I'm getting married in April (eek, just a little over 2 months to go).  Ventured over here looking for posts on cool father/daughter dance songs and then saw this thread, so thought I'd chime in!

FI is white and I am black. Our ceremony is going to be a traditional Catholic ceremony.  We're not doing a mass because FI is Presbyterian, and I don't feel comfortable excluding two-thirds of those congregated (including my about-to-be husband) from communion.  Getting married in the Catholic church (I was raised Catholic) is really the only specifically cultural thing we're doing.

We live in northern NJ, and are getting married on Cape Cod (I grew up outside of Boston).  While I would have expected more "looks" or whatever while wedding planning, we've really encountered zero weirdness.  Maybe it's because I'm so used to it -- FI have been together almost 8 years, my stepmother and stepfather (both of my parents remarried) are white, and I have two biracial sisters through my dad.  One time FI and I were stopped on the main street where we live by some random guy, but that was because he wanted to tell us what a great couple we make... so I was psyched for the props!

Our wedding theme centers around blue jays, so we will have two birds in a nest as our cake topper.  We have joked about cake flavors - maybe we'll do a marble layer or something.  

And as for our families, I couldn't have asked for better in-laws.  From Day One they were welcoming and accepting (well, I heard there was that one "talk" that FMIL had to have with FI's grandmother (who lives in SC), but that initial shock was short-lived, and both of FI's grandmothers and grandfathers adore me now).  And for reasons mentioned above, my parents really couldn't say anything.  

MsDiamondPrincess

My FI is Irish and Catholic and I am Black and Pentecostal. I expressed my desire to be married at my church and he was completely fine with it. I want to include some Irish culture, such as Irish sayings, but my FI is indifferent to it. My wedding isn't until May 2011 so we have some time. No one seems to treat us any differently besides his Mom, but that's a whole other story.

MsDiamondPrincess

BTW: It woud be awesome if there was a board for interracial couples. At least I feel like it would give me a place to vent from time to time...

shaun87

 I agree it would be nice to have a interracial couples board. My FI is white mix with German and Irish, and I'm just black. But it would be nice to see couples like us around more.

xmcmarie

I am in an interracial relationship. My fiance is black and im white. I hate how people act like its such a big deal.Me and my fiance have been together 6 years and we have a 3 year old. We get stares from  everyone especially when we go out but its alright because weve learned to accept it. Love doesnt see color.