African American Weddings

Honest Opinions Needed

I'm usually a lurker here (occasional commenter) but I do know that you ladies give honest, down-to-earth advice.  One of my very best friends is getting married next June, and I am in the wedding party (very excited for her as she is literally the nicest girl I've ever known!)  The wedding is in Eastern Europe.  Her MOH recently sent an email planning for her bachelorette--in May!  A) I don't really know my schedule that far our or how work will be, B) I'm out of town the weekend before on my annual girls' trip with some college friends, and C) They want to spend the entire weekend at a B&B in Virginia.  Saturday rent a limo and go to a vineyard to do wine tastings, and Sunday do a spa day.  This sounds great, but it also sounds reallly expensive (B&Bs that time of year out here can run $250-300 per room per night).  There will also be a shower, probably in NYC where many of her friends live.

Obviously, since I'm in the wedding party and she's one of my best friends, I want to attend as much as possible, but I'm afraid this is going to break the bank for me (especially if I'm spending $1k+ for pre-wedding parties plus $2k in airfare (for me and FI) plus other travel expenses.  FI and I plan on spending a week traveling around Europe the week prior to the wedding since we'll in the area anyways.  I've thought of just attending the wine tasting the day-of, but it would be a 3 hour drive each way out to VA wine country.  Even if I couldn't make it, I'd be happy to still contribute to cover the bride's costs, I'm just trying to figure out how I can swing participating but not breaking the bank.

Thoughts?  What would you do?  We usually go on a few big trips per year, and my entire family lives on the West Coast, so I don't want to blow all my yearly travel savings on this one wedding, but she is also one of my best friends, so I want to do as much as I can for her...

Re: Honest Opinions Needed

  • Honestly, all those events sound costly and I think she would understand if you are not able to participate in all of them.  Pick the one event you think would mean the most to her if you attended and plan for that.  If you find that you can make the rest then fine.  Otherwise, I would be honest with her and tell her you have budget constraints and that making all of the events puts you in a bind.  



    Love is the ultimate superpower.   
    It can make you weak and strong simultaneously.  



  • Agree with pp. I also think it is very nice of you to what to help her costs.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers LilySlim Fitness goals tickers
  • Id definitely have to tell her how much id love to be there for her but due to budget i cant possibly do everything prior to the wedding but ill do this or that and let her knw you will be there for her big day

    Lilypie - H1jI


    Daisypath - MFL5



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