Black folks and RSVP cards

JKeyes2011

So I've read some intresting stories on here about peoples RSVP cards such as people adding lines with names to the cards to have more people in the party. I'm wondering if people have had issues with people just not returning the cards.

My mom and I were discussing the invitations and she said, "Well you know black folks most of them are not going to mail back the cards, but come anyway." My wonderful answer to her was, "Well they are not going to have a seat"

I am the person in the family who likes to do things "fancy" or as they say "How white folks do it" I really just like things proper and in order the way they were intended to be.
I explained to my mom if they did not send a RSVP card they would not have a place card and seat at the reception. They are welcome to come to the church for the wedding, but they did not send a card then they were not counted for the reception.

If people do reuturn the cards and add names then I will be at least consider their added people because I'd be happy that they thought to actually return my cards.

ufsweetiebear

Yes!!

We only received 36% of our RSVP cards back (yes - I kept track). At first, we had the same idea as you: if you don't RSVP you won't have a seat. Period. But of course, FI and his family (my side sent their cards back after a friendly reminder) couldn't bear to stick to the plan so they took a day and called EVERYONE. We got our answers but wasted a hell of a lot of stamps. But we're not allowing people to just show up or change their minds at this point.

We did allow people who CALLED and ask for an additional seat to bring a plus one (or, rather FI allowed them to). As time went on, I wasn't as opposed to it because at least they picked up the phone. My grandmother's sister added an entire family to her RSVP and was shocked when I called her about it. SMH. Sometimes I wonder if folks think this is a backyard bbq where they can just stop by and get a plate.

monretta

I am starting to get them back.  So far no names have been added, but I am not expecting most people to return them especially more than three weeks after they are sent (it has only been a week so far).  I feel like I wasted so much money in stamps if you aren't even going to send the pre stamped envelope back.

I am cheap can you bring the envelope to the wedding so I can get my stamp back  ( I would resuse it) .

I am going to call, txt, facebook and email closer to the due date to confirm numbers, because I was at a friend's wedding who had a family member RSVP with 6 people then not show up with no reason (that would be ~252 dollars in food I can't get back)

i know stuff comes up but come-on really

keri_hurst

Girl, GET READY!!!  I've had people add names, write completely differnt names, write NO name at all,  pass the invitation along to toher people who were not invited, and just not send them in at all!!!!

Ive had poeple talk to me abou thow excited they were about the wedding but had not sent ANY rsvp card anywhere!  I've had pther people call me and tell me what they were coming.  I said to them unless you intend to write me a letter and put it in the tiny envelope that addressed to ME, then they better send and use it!!  WHAT a WAISTE of postage!!!

nd on top off all of that, Fi's mom keeps inviting people that she sees at church adn reunions.  THE WEDDING IS 11 DAYS FROM NOW!!!!  No new invites!!!  Where was she when we asked her to give us a list of the people who should have been invited.    UUGGGHHH sorry this wasn't my rant was it???

raganw

Yeah, the RSVP thing is rough.  Thankfully, we have received a little over half back which I'm actually a little surprised about (the deadline is Aug. 31st - I didn't think ANYONE would send it back before then).  So far we have received a few that added "and guest", to which FI and I had mini fits about, then politely called and told them "umm.... NO!"  Generally, I think if someone has never been involved in planning a wedding, they have NO IDEA what goes into it, how much it costs, or WHY they're not supposed to add people to an invitation.

Oh - before I forget: 
Make sure you associate a number with your guests and put that number on your RSVP cards.  It will save you a few headaches...

NeColeMonet

I see the letters RSVP and CRINGE. That was the absolute WORST part of the planning process for me. I'm going to go cry now, lol.

mrsblakemore

Just ghetto, country, ignorant, and everything else associated with people not knowing etiquette. I feel the same way, I don't have time to be calling folks and conducting a hotline tele-thon. I'm not calling a soul. My mom, dad and FI can do it, but not me. I don't understand why people can't simply fill out two lines on the STAMPED rsvp postcard. They don't even have to seal anything!!!

Kita8242

Oh Lord!
I just sent my invites on Saturday and most people received them yesterday. I got a call already asking if so and so, pookie and 'nem could come too. I sent the invite for a "Mr and Mrs". How did it get up to 4 extra people ?! UGH...Im worried...

JKeyes2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_black-folks-rsvp-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:8902c490-f08f-4593-8823-fd31114c919aPost:98eeb5bc-ea3a-4887-9caf-e8eaa4ed52af">Re: Black folks and RSVP cards</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, the RSVP thing is rough.  Thankfully, we have received a little over half back which I'm actually a little surprised about (the deadline is Aug. 31st - I didn't think ANYONE would send it back before then).  So far we have received a few that added "and guest", to which FI and I had mini fits about, then politely called and told them "umm.... NO!"  Generally, I think if someone has never been involved in planning a wedding, they have NO IDEA what goes into it, how much it costs, or WHY they're not supposed to add people to an invitation. Oh - before I forget:  Make sure you associate a number with your guests and put that number on your RSVP cards.  It will save you a few headaches...
Posted by raganw[/QUOTE]

I have already planned that girl. For each family they will have a set number given to them and they can fill them or not fill them as they please.

TheCranberry

I think calling people is just part of the process that everyone has to do no matter who they are.  I am not looking forward to that part of it!!  But I'd rather call people and know they are coming instead of assuming we'll have 110, and 140 people show up.

msapril0730

I'm going through this as we speak! So far I only got one back with no name on the line, but it was my grandpa so I wasn't too upset and he put his name on the envelope. I'm still waitin for a very large portion of the RSVP's and the due date is 9/20. I've also said if you don't RSVP there will be no plate for you, I plan on sticking with it! The only ppl I plan to call are OOT guest 

Rhoyal_1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_black-folks-rsvp-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:8902c490-f08f-4593-8823-fd31114c919aPost:98eeb5bc-ea3a-4887-9caf-e8eaa4ed52af">Re: Black folks and RSVP cards</a>:
[QUOTE]Yeah, the RSVP thing is rough.  Thankfully, we have received a little over half back which I'm actually a little surprised about (the deadline is Aug. 31st - I didn't think ANYONE would send it back before then).  So far we have received a few that added "and guest", to which FI and I had mini fits about, then politely called and told them "umm.... NO!"  Generally, I think if someone has never been involved in planning a wedding, they have NO IDEA what goes into it, how much it costs, or WHY they're not supposed to add people to an invitation. Oh - before I forget:  Make sure you associate a number with your guests and put that number on your RSVP cards.  It will save you a few headaches...
Posted by raganw[/QUOTE]

Ok date twin...I did this too!! And you are on the ball...our due date is Sept 7th .  Anywho, tell me this AAW Knotties...what's the deal with folks inviting ppl and saying I'll pay fo rthem?  Ummm, FI and I don't know them, so why would we want them at OUR WEDDING??  It is not the backyard BBQ on Labor Day when your newest chick gets to show up on your hip!  BTW- I made our RSVP cards postcards so for the ppl that think its ok to hand the RSVP back, we don't lose as much money.  So far, one delivered by hand!

summerbride11

Trust Me- It's not just Balck Folks that don't know how to RSVP properly.  Although black folks did have the more entertaining RSVP comments.

aricherry

I am not looking forward to this.... I hate rsvping so now I guess it is going to come back on me... I do not plan on calling anyone.  We have limited seating at our wedding anyway so if you dont rsvp, too bad.  I will move people up from my B list, maybe.