African American Weddings

FMIL Stress- Kinda Long

So, FI has a HUGE family and invited a tons of people to the wedding. I invited more of my family to make it even, but now FIs family are dropping like flies. There is just one crisis after another and they are all saying they cant come.

Now my FMIL is calling all of the relatives and asking if they can come to the wedding and THE INVITES HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN MAILED YET!!! Its so frustrating because one couple she said wasn't coming actually told me on facebook how much they were looking forward to it. So I don't even know how much she says is accurate.

But, she is harrassing our guests, and then telling me constantly who is and is not coming and that is causing me anxiety. We've looked for this HUGE venue and booked all vendors based on the amount of people that we estimated will be there.... the only thing we get to save $ on is the catering. (thank god)

Maybe its just a cultural difference, but I don't know how to tell her to stop harrassing the family and telling me how many people aren't coming. When they rsvp, THAT'S when we can say they're not coming... until then, its all speculation.....
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Re: FMIL Stress- Kinda Long

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    cincy2011cincy2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    Wow, that is stressful!  Sorry to hear that.  Can your FI talk to his mom and ask her to hold off on the follow ups / updates until the invitations go out?   That is a lot of unnecessary drama! 
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    edited December 2011
    That's hard because she is soon to be "family" but she sounds like a pain. FI should speak to her , maybe by starting with...."thanks for all your help, but we really have this under control....we want our guests to be excited about receiving the invitation whether they are attending or not....we prefer to only call guests who do not RSVP, that way we will have a clearer head count for the caterer."  As for her telling guests who is and isn't comming; I hate when ppl do that. Guests should be there to support you and FI, period. Good Luck!
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    edited December 2011
    WOW.  I'm sorry you're going through that. I would defintely have FI speak to his mother.  I want to thank you for sharing this because you just helped me put my own situation with my FMIL in perspective.  I love how God uses people with them even knowing it.  Hope things get less stressful for you.
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