African American Weddings
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LONGGG week: Update on in-laws, my FI, and a HUGEEE check!

I have been waiting to post at random times at all week, but I have been so tired with everything going on and being back in school full time is kicking my butt.

So the in-laws did not have the best reaction to my letter. They felt like I attacked them and apparently I was to become a taboo subject on their home and yada, yada. So then my FI and I were talking after their reaction and he was saying how he didn't know what he wanted to do and it was too much and so it got really tense and I broke up with him...the break-up lasted 8 minutes exactly. After the break-up I was a mess and in tears trying to call my mom who wouldn't answer her phone. I ended up calling my MOH/bestie and she freaked out and I told her I would call her back because I would try for my mom. While trying to reach my mom I got really concerned about my FI. I didn't want him to do anything stupid so I called him to check on him and seconds later we were laughing like nothing major had happend. In that 8 minutes he decided that he chooses me and will alway pick me no matter what his parents say.

The dust has settled with his parents a bit and they aren't so negative about everything that went down and he did tell them that he is picking me. I will wait for the dust to settle more and i will right them a follow up letter and I will mail it to them so my FI isn't in the middle. I want to let them know that I am aware that my letter was a bit blunt and very foward, but it is 100% my opinion and the opinion of a person on the outside who is looking inside and I meant it to be constructive and not destructive. I want them to know I have very strong values when it comes to family and it is my goal to have a strong family relationship with them if they are willing. I want to have an open and honest relationship and if they have something to say to me that may be negative I want them to say it to my face personally and I will do the same for them.

Now my FI decided he is picking me which means he has decided that next summer he will move to the US to be with me. Around the time of the wedding he will relocate here. We are about to start the Green Card process so he can legally work in the US. I'm beyond excited. I've been looking at apartments so we can figure out an average rent and bills budget and I am beyond anything I just can't wait.

The next exciting thing that happend is we are going to elope. We were already gong to legally marry in Vegas, but that was going to be in July just days before the wedding, but in order to speed up the Green Card process and so stick it to the in-laws we are getting legally married in November. My FI has never celebrated Thanksgiving because he is Belgian so he will be arriving here the week before and that Sunday we will go to Vegas and legally marry on Monday. He just reserved our hotel room today and I will get our plane tickets this coming week. I'm going to be a Mrs. sooner than I thought. We get back from Vegas and we will celebrate our legal marriage and Thanksgiving with my family.

EDIT: I just called and made the appointment with the Clark County Office of Civil Ceremonies, on Nov. 22 we will get married legally.
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"Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
Janae & Olivier


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Re: LONGGG week: Update on in-laws, my FI, and a HUGEEE check!

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    edited December 2011
    OOOOHHHHHH WWWWEEEEE!!!! Congrats girl!!!!! This is great news. Now just be ready for if they threaten to cut him off. They are very controling but once he is out of there and with you here, it will be a home run!!!!
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    tyboydtyboyd member
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    edited December 2011
    CONGRATS on the sooner wedding! AND love the new siggy pic!
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    cincy2011cincy2011 member
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    edited December 2011
    Wow, a lot has happened!  As long as you two are happy, I'm happy also. 

    Glad to hear that you will be at home in the U.S. vs. living in Belgium for a few years in such close proximity to his toxic parents. 

    And congrats on your upcoming wedding!  Can't wait to hear more details about your Vegas trip!
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    amberlynnedamberlynned member
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    edited December 2011
    I am VERY excited to read this. You two deserve a happy drama free life! And if that means he has to detach from his parents, then so be it. I feel like your relationship will be much healthier once he moves to the US and you can distance yourselves from his terrible parents! 

    My next thought is similar to rodeo's: His parents will try EVERYTHING in their power to get him back, cutting him off financially, demanding holiday visits, and probably even faking severe illness (i wouldn't put it past those two). Do you two have a plan for when this happens????????

    p.s. i wouldn't even bother writing them another letter. just move on to better things! :D
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    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies! I think our marriage will be a lot stronger here.
    I've been working on a budget for life here as well as looking at apartments in my local area just to get an idea for the rent. I'm beyond excited.

    amberlynned we are preparing ourself for a HUGE backlash from them. Though at the same time I think they might just be really calm about it because they have been defeated, It can go either way so we are prepared.
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    "Ever Thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours"
    Janae & Olivier


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    edited December 2011
    Congrats! Glad everything is finally working out! And I agree with amberlynned...I wouldn't even bother to write them another letter. I would just move on and focus on the positive things that are happening for the two of you! Smile
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    edited December 2011
    That is truly a blessing, I love it and congrats girl. The man has spoken and it is a wrap. **woot woot** stomping and shouting for ya hon.
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    edited December 2011
    That is fantastic news!!!  Congratulations!!!  I'm so glad everything is working out for both of you!!!
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    I married my soulmate on 10-3-10 :)
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    edited December 2011
    so off subject, but you guys are a cute couple! Congrats and I hope you settle things with his parents. Like I told you I am in year 6 of inlaw drama. UGH!
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    edited December 2011
    That is what I'm talkin' 'bout!!!  SO happy for you and FI!!! 
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    M1ssJM1ssJ member
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    edited December 2011
    2 snaps up in a circle
    577906 10151197172303105 844768324 n Follow Me on Pinterest www.shoplovelivelearn.blogspot.com Anniversary
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