Wedding Party Woes (Longish)

We recently changed our wedding date to accommodate our change in venue. I originally wanted a spring wedding (cheaper, and less common.) Now that we will be having the wedding outdoors (renting a tent of course) we have to compensate for when it will be muddy- for parking and general messiness and mishaps related to mud. 
That being said, and after much deliberation, we picked a new date. Good, we're happy with it, relieved to have mutually agreed. 
We informed our parents, and I informed my maid of honor, matron of honor, and bridesman. FI didn't inform his best man until some time after we had changed it. 
So the day after Best Man was informed, his wife calls to tell us that our new wedding date is the same as a (mutual) friend's, whom they both happen to be a part of the wedding party of as well. Their wedding date has been set for a while. 
Now what??
FI says that we should just leave our date as is. Almost (although he didn't say it) like a challenge to who's friendship is more important to Best Man. He did say, "If he wants to be in our wedding, he'll be there."
We don't have our date physically set in stone, just mentally. No save the dates have been made, since we're DIY a lot, no contracts have been signed for a specific date either. 
Should we change our date again? Best Man is important to us; and I'm anticipating his toast to us, plus his humor to add to the whole day. 
Suggestions? Has this happened to anyone else?
Best Man hasn't said anything about it thus far.

Re: Wedding Party Woes (Longish)

  • sparent2010sparent2010 member
    edited December 2011
    We inadvertantly did this since we set our date as the same as one of my cousin's friend after we chose the date she told us about her friend demanding we change it.

    We decided to not change it since we wanted to be married in September and everyone kept trying to get us to change our date- stick to the date that you 2 want. B/c it is your guys day and while the BM is important he is not as important as the 2 of you being happy.

    Sorry this situation sucks :(
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  • mgoss228mgoss228 member
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    edited December 2011
    Changing the date is totally up to you and your FI, if you really want to in order to have the BM there, do it.  You said you haven't signed any contracts yet, so you shouldn't have any vendor conflicts.  If the date itself is not super important/meaningful to you two, I would change the date.
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  • zoiesmurfzoiesmurf member
    edited December 2011
    I would talk with your FI (as it's his BM), and figure out what he wants. If he doesn't want to change, then I would just leave it as is. If he decides he really wants to be sure his BM is there, then you guys can go back to the drawing board about dates. Just figure out what he wants to do and don't book anything set in stone until he decides.
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  • edited December 2011
    You said, "Best Man is important to us; and I'm anticipating his toast to us, plus his humor to add to the whole day." It sounds to me like if you don't have him there, you will look back and regret it...the best man should keep his original commitment to the other wedding because he made that commitment first, so if you change the date, he will likely not be there...is it worth that to you? 

    I'm kinda a "have your cake and eat it too" person, so I wonder whether you can pick a date sometime near the "new date" that would satisfy everybody...if not, then maybe go back to your original date...good luck! - Cheryl :)
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