I had to say something

tcjames

THis is a thread from the Etiquette board. I was so livid I had to address this one comment.. I hope the link works!!

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_names-real_.

Ksk2012

Names are funny. As a teacher I haven't come across too many crazy names but I have friends that have!! The thread wasn't too bad though!

runningbride80

When I worked at a high school years ago, I came across all kinds of 'interesting' names. I'm all for being unique, but some people really set their kids up big time. :-(

alpresberry

Eh...the thread wasn't too bad, but yes people say things the wouldn't ordinarily when they can hide behind a computer screen. Unfortunately, most of those names probably are African Americans. I don't know why people don't consider the fact that their child has to get a job someday when picking names, but to each its own.   

runningbride80

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:ab3c97d5-b940-42d4-b51e-f7df1f014fccPost:a3b69406-af29-4ee6-bb02-05288dafd906">Re: I had to say something</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh...the thread wasn't too bad, but yes people say things the wouldn't ordinarily when they can hide behind a computer screen. Unfortunately, most of those names probably are African Americans. I don't know why people don't consider the fact that their child has to get a job someday when picking names, but to each its own.   
Posted by alpresberry[/QUOTE]

THIS.

nicknuttnc

I did not like that l.thread at all. For a grown woman say that she would pick on this kid is amazing. This shows people sometimes do not grow out of the hurtful bully they where in school. I think a child name is the unique way of parents putting their stamp on the their lives. My great-aunt was named Miss because my great-grandmother want her child to always be respected by people., instead of getting called girl or any thing disrespectful. She thought she would always know that she was worthy no matter what her surroundings entailed. This story has been passed down from our family for years. Do this mean that her name is crazy or any less worthy than Jane, Mary, or Tina.

Soon2BSand

It wasn't that bad... to me. I guess I just ignore ignorance.

tcjames

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ab3c97d5-b940-42d4-b51e-f7df1f014fccPost:a7197568-6fc1-4b49-8708-7f4fe90928d7">Re: I had to say something</a>:
[QUOTE]I did not like that l.thread at all.<strong> For a grown woman say that she would pick on this kid is amazing.</strong> This shows people sometimes do not grow out of the hurtful bully they where in school. I think a child name is the unique way of parents putting their stamp on the their lives. My great-aunt was named Miss because my great-grandmother want her child to always be respected by people., instead of getting called girl or any thing disrespectful. She thought she would always know that she was worthy no matter what her surroundings entailed. This story has been passed down from our family for years. Do this mean that her name is crazy or any less worthy than Jane, Mary, or Tina.
Posted by nicknuttnc[/QUOTE]

 This is what bothered me. Not the entire thread. I am realistic, I've come across of few names that made me shake my head...I even have a nephew named..Born Freedom Allah...I swear to you I'm not lying he just turned 10 in September...

Baesmom

When choosing a childs name i think sometimes WE as a community dont really think about the damage we are doing to our child.  A study was done not too long ago and it was said that employers go through the application and "weed" out by name. 
If you see my name - Toni , you really dont know what you are going to get until you see me.  then its like TADAAA! lol
We tried to do the same when naming our son.   In my line of work, i see ALOT of names a day and sometimes i shake my head and think "we gotta do better"

2010Bride2be

Geez..I am almost 100% sure that the poster was joking. However, I cannot lie, if I came across a child named 'UItra Violet' they'd get the side eye...but you can bet as soon as I'm out of ear shot, I'd have to laugh.

What kind of people do this stuff to a child? I can totally understand names from other cultures, for example the Aslan name that they mentioned in the thread. I actually have a friend with that name and I believe it's French. However, her's is spelled Aislinn.

It's the thrown together, combination for whatever reason names I can't stand. And then the parents get pissed off when the child's name is mispronounced. Um, how do you expect people to know how to pronounce these names? As one poster in the other thread said, a lot of times It looks like a bunch of letters thrown together. Its crazy.

faithlady

Yeah I have to agree, the thread wasn't that bad and I sincerely believe her comment was tongue in cheek. What did bother me though was the consistent repetition of the urban legends...I didn't like how no one gets that continuous repetition is what reinforces these stereotypes, etc. The whole "la-sha, orangello, and the more recent abcde" is really starting to grate on my nerves. Some ish just ain't funny enough to repeat IMO

mandydc0509

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ab3c97d5-b940-42d4-b51e-f7df1f014fccPost:a3b69406-af29-4ee6-bb02-05288dafd906">Re: I had to say something</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh...the thread wasn't too bad, but yes people say things the wouldn't ordinarily when they can hide behind a computer screen. Unfortunately, most of those names probably are African Americans. I don't know why people don't consider the fact that their child has to get a job someday when picking names, but to each its own.   
Posted by alpresberry[/QUOTE]

I agree.

The thread wasn't too bad. Posters in the etiquette section have a different sense of humor. I guess I'm used to it/like it because I wasn't offended by any of that. The thread as a whole was pretty amusing.

tcjames

I wasn't commenting on the entire thread...Just that one statement. Ok so maybe I was a little touchy, but that's because a beloved family member who claims it wasn't intentional had my 8 yr old son who's on the chunky side starving himself and talking about suicide.  My son is a very active child (he's always outside playing some type of ball), and I did have him checked for obesity because I was worried about his weight gain six months before the incident came to light. After his peditrician went through his weight gain records from birth, had us  complete a daily meal plan for 2 weeks and assessed his daily activity said " Mrs. X,  he's on the higher percentile so your concerns were valid, but you're just going to have a big boy. As long as you keep feeding him properly and enforcing activity he's going to be fine". 

So one day he's fighting with his older brother makes the statement I should die & be out of everybodies way...As I come out of the room his brother is yelling at him don't ever say that again. I sit lil man down & we talk talk..It took 3 hours to get him to tell me what was going on...

Anyway, come to find out things were being said to him & not in front of the others such as, " you need to go back outside & burn a few more calories before you eat" or No second hotdog for you, "cause you can stand to loss a few pounds". That's not even the worst they would treat all the kids to ice cream & give him an apple, he gambled his away but I want to give him something. He told me that he told her what the dr said she told him the doctor needed his license revoked...WTH..when it all came to light I had to sit DH down and tell him, I  will love you forever. But this will be addressed & I will do all I can to  be respectful, cause  I was ready to Kill... I'm mama bear & she done messed with my cubs...so if she get snippy all bets are off & if we have to divorce ..so be it!!!

WHat kind of person does that? I didn't mean to have him feeling bad about himself was the reply. WTH..My child loves you unconditionally & you couldn't tell you were hurting his feelings. I knew something was wrong  for a while...From the second he walked in the door after visits, but he always replied nothing so I assumed he got in trouble for doing something he had no business doing...Stupid me huh...  

Maybe I am taking to heart but I have darn good reason too.This is why that one statement doesn't sit well with me!! Adults should never joke about teasing children, ever. They just don't understand the type of damage they could do, even hiding behind a computer screen...

Sorry didn't mean to go TMI..but I had to get it out so maybe somebody will get why I was so livid!!!

Baesmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_say-something?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:ab3c97d5-b940-42d4-b51e-f7df1f014fccPost:1dd25c72-64d2-474b-af47-bd82485b5f3e">Re: I had to say something</a>:
[QUOTE]I wasn't commenting on the entire thread...Just that one statement. Ok so maybe I was a little touchy, but that's because a beloved family member who claims it wasn't intentional had my 8 yr old son who's on the chunky side starving himself and talking about suicide.  My son is a very active child (he's always outside playing some type of ball), and I did have him checked for obesity because I was worried about his weight gain six months before the incident came to light. After his peditrician went through his weight gain records from birth, had us  complete a daily meal plan for 2 weeks and assessed his daily activity said " Mrs. X,  he's on the higher percentile so your concerns were valid, but you're just going to have a big boy. As long as you keep feeding him properly and enforcing activity he's going to be fine".  So one day he's fighting with his older brother makes the statement I should die & be out of everybodies way...As I come out of the room his brother is yelling at him don't ever say that again. I sit lil man down & we talk talk..It took 3 hours to get him to tell me what was going on... Anyway, come to find out things were being said to him & not in front of the others such as, " you need to go back outside & burn a few more calories before you eat" or No second hotdog for you, "cause you can stand to loss a few pounds". That's not even the worst they would treat all the kids to ice cream & give him an apple, he gambled his away but I want to give him something. He told me that he told her what the dr said she told him the doctor needed his license revoked...WTH..when it all came to light I had to sit DH down and tell him, I  will love you forever. But this will be addressed & I will do all I can to  be respectful, cause  I was ready to Kill... I'm mama bear & she done messed with my cubs...so if she get snippy all bets are off & if we have to divorce ..so be it!!! WHat kind of person does that? I didn't mean to have him feeling bad about himself was the reply. WTH..My child loves you unconditionally & you couldn't tell you were hurting his feelings. I knew something was wrong  for a while...From the second he walked in the door after visits, but he always replied nothing so I assumed he got in trouble for doing something he had no business doing...Stupid me huh...   Maybe I am taking to heart but I have darn good reason too.This is why that one statement doesn't sit well with me!! Adults should never joke about teasing children, ever. They just don't understand the type of damage they could do, even hiding behind a computer screen... Sorry didn't mean to go TMI..but I had to get it out so maybe somebody will get why I was so livid!!!
Posted by tcjames[/QUOTE]

i fully agree and see where you are coming from.  Honestly, you handled it better than i would have.  I hope that after you talked to said family member and explained what effect this was having on your son, they changed their ways and apologized for their behavior. 
I would be pissed.  im sorry but i cant think of any other word to come close to the level of madness.  I actually had words with someone my mom knows not too long ago due to something he said about my son's name. 
His name is Baelian. (Bay-lee-in) he was named after one of the Knights of the round table.  He fought in the crusades under the leper king and defended Jeruslem in the 1st crusades. we are PROUD of his name. 
so we were at my moms house (said person was there) and i called my son into the kitchen.  the friend goes "what is his name?" i repeated it for him. He gets this strange look on his face and goes "oh, we mexicans name our kids weird things too" i was MAD i calmed myself cause it was my moms birthday and took the minute that i could have used cursing him out and gave him the history behind my sons name. 
Sometimes you gotta fight for your children.  So i 100% understand.
Hugs to him