wedding canceled

luckyinloveaz

Hey ladies,

I know I have seen these posts before but never thought I would be writing one! My FI has called off the wedding, I dont know if he realizes what he did being that he was upset.

This is how it went down, to me its really silly, but I dont wanna seem like I dont care. But its just the type of person that I am, you tell me something and it goes from there. No games etc..

So this wknd was my MOH 35th bday party in Phx, told Fi about it over a week ago. Guess he thought I wouldnt go considering he has his son and had to have him back at drop off site. So yes ladies he canceled the wedding bc I went to the bday dinner, spent the night of course bc i was not driving back late. He has his mind set that it was some wild party. Which was not the case at all. It was if anything only 10 of us, 2 friends and the rest her family. He has had 2 females cheat on him in the past, so this has to be stemming from that. Never ever have I given him a reason to not trust me.

Some of you say we need to talk things thru etc.. But im not gonna be one of thoses brides that the man cancels and then says ok lets get married. He called his sister n law (his brothers wife) this morning saying the wedding was off. So I have canceled everything already not losing out on much $.

The way I see it, its better to have happened now than after we got married. What happens from here on out, I will have to wait and see. Im not one to argue or fight. Especially since I have 2 boys in the house. So once he comes around will talk and go from there.

If I come across like not being sad or anything I guess thats just how I am. Dont get me wrong I am upset, and pissed at the fact that he would call it off. But what can you do. I am not the type of female to drop her family and friends bc your in a relationship or because the guy doesnt want you to go. I have lost friends because of that exact same thing the guy. 

Im sure when my date comes around its gonna be sad, I will have to be busy. Im gonna miss all the daily posts and writing to you all. Im still gonna be popping in here and there, because I wanna see how all your wedding come out:)

hisSparklett

So sorry to read this post! I hope that the two of you are able to work things out.

cincy2011

Oh my goodness girl, I am sorry to hear this!  I don't know, your FI's reaction seems really, really harsh for what actually went down.  That is an issue that you all would have to work out anyway - you don't want to have to walk on eggshells throughout your marriage wondering if you going to see a friend, etc. would make him question the entire relationship. 

I pray that he sees the error in his decision and changes his mind- I do understand what you mean about not wanting to marry someone who would cancel the wedding, but you may feel differently after you all talk.  I hope the wedding can still happen and everything works out.  Either way, in my opinion he should work on this with a therapist (and through prayer) b/c his issues with past relationships shouldn't cause this kind of drama between you two.

Know that we are here for you and you are always welcome here, no matter what happens! 

MIABRIDENTAMPA

Jess, Im sorry you are going through all of this. My prayers that it all works out for the best.

wheatney22

Sorry to read this. It can't be easy. Keep your head up. You have the right attitude.

hunee=pye

Im sorry to hear this I pray that it all works out the want you want it to.

mserika1

Jess, I am truly sorry to hear that.  I am hoping you both can work it out.  Either way you will be alright.  Keep your head up.

ufsweetiebear

I'm praying for you! 

TysWife2Be

Jess...I am soooooooooo sorry to hear that this is happening.

I will be sure to jeep you in my prayers.

PB-Bride2010

Jess, I'm sorry you're having to deal with this and I pray that everthing works out for the best.  Also, please don't go anywhere will miss you too much!!!

smooth84

I am sooo sorry to read this. You are in my thoughts!!!  please keep your head up and those smiley faces coming

krimson19

that's really unfortunate.  hopefully yall can work things out. 

playgirl28

Sorry to hear that. I hope things work out for you & him :-)

PhillyBride123

I'm sorry to hear this. Hopefully things will work itself out. I highly recommend couples couseling, my fiance had past girlfriends cheat on him and he reacts similar when I hangout with my girlfriends. Counseling has helped him realize that I am not the one that cheated so he needs to chill. But again I hope you guys work things out.

luckyinloveaz

Thanks ladies for all the kind words!

mrsblakemore

My heart goes out to you. You and I are kinda similar. I have to keep it cool and remain logical, no matter what the situation. I actually thank God that you are experiencing this, because (God willing) when/if you get back together you will see the extent of certain fears he has and you will know exactly what you're dealing with. Like you said, better now than later. When emotions calm down, hopefully he'll be remorseful and you'll be understanding/forgiving enough to make the decision that's best for you.

TysWife2Be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wedding-canceled?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:b24b130b-24ca-422a-a51b-0abcd2c50650Post:cf036966-08a9-4ff6-96d8-c87eeb445464">Re: wedding canceled</a>:
[QUOTE]My heart goes out to you. You and I are kinda similar. I have to keep it cool and remain logical, no matter what the situation. I actually thank God that you are experiencing this, because (God willing) when/if you get back together you will see the extent of certain fears he has and you will know exactly what you're dealing with. Like you said, better now than later. When emotions calm down, hopefully he'll be remorseful and you'll be understanding/forgiving enough to make the decision that's best for you.
Posted by mrsblakemore[/QUOTE]

Has your wedding been called off as well?

1TriniDiva

I am so sorry to hear this, I will keep you in my prayers.

desi2002

God doesn't make mistakes. Maybe just use this time to reflect, and if it is ment to be it will happen. Don't be discouraged. God already has it worked out for you. Just claim your victory.

r-chelle

jess noooooooo.... I'm kind of at a loss for words...I hope the outcome of this (and thereafter) benefits the both of you. Ya'll be in my prayers

KMB611

This is similar to my situation. I understand how you feel. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

raganw

Jess....  I'm so sorry things went down like that.  You have a great attitude about the whole thing so that will definitely help you, no matter what the final outcome.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers...  Hang in there!!

NeColeMonet

I admire your strength during this tough time, cause I'd be flipping tables like Jesus!!  Keep your head up and I hope everything works out sweetheart.

eagles347

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wedding-canceled?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:b24b130b-24ca-422a-a51b-0abcd2c50650Post:d4b9c3cc-dc80-4076-a374-af11e3200017">Re: wedding canceled</a>:
[QUOTE]I admire your strength during this tough time, cause I'd be flipping tables like Jesus!!  Keep your head up and I hope everything works out sweetheart.
Posted by NeColeMonet[/QUOTE]

Necole read my mind. I will keep you and your FI in my prayers, Jess. I'm really sad to hear this. I honestly didn't expect to read that despite the title of the thread.

mahoganieyes

Very sorry to hear that! I will be praying for both you guys!

missrekaeagle

Jess, I'm so sorry to read that your wedding is off. But I must commend you for your always positive attitude. My prayers go out to you, and I hope things work in your favor whatever that may be.

Rhoyal_1

Sweetie, I hurt for you.  However, I understand being logical about the situation.  I hope you two are able to talk because it sounds like he has issues he has to deal with.  I agree, he may still be dealing (struggling) with being cheated on in the past.  Had you two gone to premarital counseling?  If not, do you think he would be willing...would you be willing?  Either way, I hope all goes for you. 

Remain strong..we are here for you...be blessed.

prncsz

I'm so sorry to see this and will keep you in my prayers.

MAGNUM06

Good Morning Jess.... I'm really sorry to hear of your situation... and will, like the other ladies keep you in my prayers.... I commend your attitude and your handling of the situation..... It seems that FI has some unresolved issues regarding trust and fidelity.... and that's good to know.... He may have made a lifetime decision based upon a temporary circumstance... and that's unfortunate.. Like you said... step back... give him some time and at some point you two can re-visit the situation and have a meaningful conversation.... until then,,,,,  Just WATCH...AS WELL AS PRAY!!!!  Its all going to work together for your good..... Even when it doesnt look like it.... Be encouraged!!!!

mrsblakemore

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wedding-canceled?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:b24b130b-24ca-422a-a51b-0abcd2c50650Post:cafbf96a-a9ae-4033-b7b7-98ede8522709">Re: wedding canceled</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: wedding canceled : Has your wedding been called off as well?
Posted by TysWife2Be[/QUOTE]

No (lol), my wedding hasn't been called off. But  if it were I'd probably react the same way as Jess or more harsh.

chayb87

OMG, I'm so sorry this happened.  I pray that everything works out.