Open Letter Tuesday

kinmir30

Remember these? This is fun and I miss doing them!


So I'll start to kinda give an example for the newbies!



Dear body,
If you could just miraculously drop the last 40 pounds I have to lose overnight, that would really be swell. Although I do enjoy working out, being a student, a nanny,  and a "wedding planner", doesn't exactly allow for very much extra time to do said workouts. But I really do want to shed these pounds. At the very least, if you could just shed them extra fast when I do work out, I think that would be acceptable!  Thanks!

Signed,
The Brains


Dear Research Paper,
I have obviously been putting you off....because well.....I just don't really like you. So, it would be extremely helpful if you could just write yourself so I can just spend time doing much more fun things like TK. I don't even need you to get an A. Just pull off a solid B for me and I will be totally satisfied.

Sincerely,
Your burnt out writer


Dear Bank Account,
It's coming up to that time where FI and I really should be booking our honeymoon flight. Here's the thing though..........you aren't giving me much money to do this with. If you could just triple or quadruple in size of what you are at right now, that would really ease my stresses.

Sincerely,
Your frazzled depositor


on that note.....
Dear Airlines,
Why is it that you have to charge so darn stinking much to fly to friggen Maui!?!?!?! I am getting really sick of checking prices and they are just not dropping whatsoever! Can you gimme a little bit of wiggle room here please? I keep getting all of this emails talking about how it's so cheap to fly to Maui.......if I do it in 3 weeks!......I need a ticket in July! Can you just give me a $300 roundtrip ticket deal for July please? Oh, and why is it that I can find flights to friggen Ireland for the same price and sometimes cheaper than MAUI !!!!! Something just doesn't make sense here...........................
Sincerely,
Bride-to-be who is veryyyy close to becoming Bridezilla

mgoss228

Dear Conan (our furbaby),
Please stop being a jerk in the mornings.  I know you don't like it when mama and daddy go to work and  have to leave you at home, but please, you should be used to this by now.  I really could use the extra time to do my hair in the morning so I could look nice, and not just settle for the ol' ponytail.
Love, Mama

Dear Dumb@$$es at work,
Please learn to be self-sufficient and how to use common sense.  There are only about a dozen of you that totally annoy me, but your minority of $h*theads really pi$$ me off on a daily basis.  I do not want to hold your hands through EVERY little thing. 
Frustrated Receptionist

Dear IT Dept,
Please set me up for our new work email, I am one of the last ones to get signed up, and it is really creating chaos.  People are sending emails to the new email, and then yell at me when I don't receive it (because I'm not set up yet).
Sincerely,
The chick at the front desk

Dear FI,
Please figure out the Transportation issue for after the wedding.  Please and Thanks!
Pie

kinmir30

Hey....there was a groupon that I noticed today for nice towncar transportation........not sure what transportation you're looking for?

mgoss228

Yeah I saw that, but it won't fit our needs   We will need shuttles for all our hotel guests (a range of 30-50 people, won't know for sure until we get more RSVPs back) to get them from Arlington to Stanwood and back.

Sharingourlove

Dear Upper Respitory System,

I know you've been dealing with health issues, haven't been feeling good and need the rest - but my dress is so not going to fit right if I can't get back to excersing!  So if you would be so kind, I'd like to get well now and back to working out.  You know you'll feel better too....

Sincerely,
The Muscles

Dear Co-workers,

I realize that I don't have the political experience you do and my background is helping people, but that's why the boss hired me.  So if you could please stop the condescending comments and attitudes and realize that while I don't have the experience you have with this work, I bring the other part of it and am just as valuable as you are.

I polititely suggest you not be the next person who talks to me like I'm an idiot as the "nice" gloves are about to come off.  And while I may be blonde, I also am part red-head with the temper to match. 

A friendly suggestion from my nerves

Dear Bank Account,

I realize you are going to be very sad with another hit to our paychecks, but if you could find it in your heart to keep a decent amount in the coffers, or perhaps just double the savings amount, I'd really apprecaite it.  We still need to pay the rest of the $ for the honeymoon so it would be a big help!

Thanks,
My stress level

abrieckinthewall

Dear crazy mother,
I realize that you can be very obsessive and controlling, but I wish you could let my wedding be something that I handle. I would appreciate it if you would pelase stop calling me on a daily basis about having the hairdresser from your childhood do my hair, or cakes, or wedding colors, or why I don't want to invite my entire hs class, or the 90 extra people you want to invite, or having my wedding in SD, or having my wedding on a boat -which I briefly considered, but I remembered that I don't like SD or the ocean. I have only been engaged 4 weeks, and I haven't set a date yet. So next time you feel like calling, just send an email, they are easier to ignore.

Thanks,
your very annoyed daughter and fsol

abrieckinthewall

HOLY MOLY! that awesome to get off my chest

kinmir30

Hahaha aren't these fun?!?!?! Love it!

MacPanda

Dear Self,
You should have read this thread before posting the groupon link about transportation.  :-)  Apparently, you are slow today...since everyone already saw it. You let your excitement get the best of you. ~Overeager Poster

Dear Fat Back,
Please don't pop out of my dress.  I don't like you and wish you would disappear and take your bra strap skin discoloration with you. ~Stuck with Strapless

Dear Office Construction Workers,
Stop the pounding.  My head hurts from bachelorette partying over the weekend already and your constant knocking and drilling is not making things better.  ~Throbbing Face

EMTmommy

Dear Ankle,

I know you will never be back to "normal." But could you pretty please (with a cherry and extra-creamy whipped cream on top) stop hurting so dang much? The docs did the best they could so far. Now it's time to get thinner and lighter. With you throbbing and aching day and night, it doesn't make it easy to get on that eliptical machine, or get enough sleep to have the energy to get on that eliptical. Just be better, ok??

With much love (and some hate),

The Rest of the Body. 

Dear FI lips,

I miss you.

-Lonely Lips

Dear stairs,

I know we may not meet often, but that doesn't mean you have to beat my silly to get my attention. Let's not do this again soon. 

-Aching Tailbone 

zoiesmurf

Dear Cowokers,
Yes I realize that you are older than me and have been doing "this" longer, but I have been working at this location longer than you, have quite a bit of experience doing "this" as well, and have other experience that pertains to "this" so stop treating me like an incompetant idiot!
Thank you,
Your disgruntled assistant manager

nbrodie

Dear Sun,

Your appearance this weekend was a welcome one and I would be forever grateful if you were to schedule another appearance on May 21st.  You will be welcomed with many smiles on that day.

Thank you in advance,
An anxious Seattle Bride

Dear Bridesmaids,

Although my emails don't request an reply, it would be nice to know that everyone is one the same page and all info is understood.  A simple email back saying, "Got it" or "OK" would suffice.

Thanks,
Your very slightly annoyed bride

TashaK24

Great idea!!

Dear all MALE lab-mates,
I realize that I'm the only girl left in the lab, but you really don't have to treat me like I'm not as smart as you.  I'm earning my phd too, and in fact, I'm closer to graduating than any of you!  So quit being jerks and actually be helpful will you??
Hugs and kisses,
Last girl standing

Dear Next Friday,
Get here sooner!!!!
Cheers,
Leaving on a jetplane

Dear Cheese,
I miss your face.
Love,
Macaroni

JulezG85

Dear Snow,
Although you are so beautiful, and give me another day off please don't stick around for too long. I do need the money and get a little stir crazy when you keep me stuck in my house for days on end. Just come and go quickly!
Sincerly Ms. Stir Crazy

Dear Boss,
You have promised me a raise for the past 4 months and have failed every month. Please DON'T promise me something and then say "oops, I forgot." Just keep to your word and give me a damn raise. Don't promote me, give me more responsiblty and then go back on your word. I have been with you for 5 years and work my ass off for you.
Thanks Frusrated Teacher

Dear Mom and Dad,
I LOVE YOU!! Thank you for always doing everything you can for me. Even if it is just the little things.
Love a VERY thankful Daughter

.....that was fun ......

Reilly2Be

Dear Children I Watch,

Could you please get along for 5 minutes? The constant bickering is going to drive me into a mental institute! You two are stinkin' cute but I won't be able to take you anywhere fun anymore if you keep acting like crazies! Thank you very much.

Love, 

Your Frustrated Nanny

Dear FI,

It would be fantastic if you could help me with the Save The Dates! I know you work long hours and are tired when you get home but it doesn't take much to put some return address labels on envelopes. I would really appreciate it! Love you

Love Always,

Why Are We Inviting This Many People?!?