FI and the planning process

egammo3

So when I originally received my crafty eddy cake topper in the mail I sat it out of plain site because I just knew my FI was going to have 50 million questions. So, of course his inquisitive butt found it and here comes the questions trying to be funny. "What are you going to do with this?" This reminds me of a big toothpick. How are you going to decorate it? Is the wood going to be in our cake? How much you paid for this? I could've done that! .... So, after all this I had to "Woosah!" and count to 10.
To ease his mind, I went out to Michael's and purchased the supplies to paint the wood (while I wait for the rhinestones to come in) so that he could leave me alone about it. And then he goes, well why you didn't do that in the 1st place. He's lucky I changed my life, cause if I was the same Erica a year ago, he would've got a few choice words! LOL.
Has your FI been inquisitive about any part of the planning that you didnt want him to be?

Baesmom

Mine doesnt care lol.. I want him to be involved and he keeps saying "its your day baby, do what you want" He has participated in some of it all but for the most part, he just wants to know the cost.

flasweetheart

My FI has been very involved with the planning thank goodness. He's taken some things that he has handled  to take them off my plate.

chescam

My fiance is very visual so I just can't explain it to him and leave it alone. I have to show him pictures. When FI saw the cake topper he had this weird look on his face because he thought I was going to have just the wooden letter on the cake. This was after I had told him that it needed to be decorated. When it was finished he was like,  oh it looks good. FI is the type of person that would buy something rather than spend time making it. I was the same way before the wedding but after things started adding up, if there was something I could make and it would look professional, I would just do it and save some money. 

But overall, he's been pretty helpful. He printed and cut most of the paper for the invitaions and event though he went through all of this (saw the designs and everything) he was still surprised at how they looked after being put together. lol. He was like wow, they came out really nice. He came over to the house and my friend was there too. She started crying over his reaction to the invitations. You would have thought that he did not know I was making them. Seeing them finished got him to stop the questions. lol

kamira87

Same here baesmom. All he wants to know is prices

egammo3

Everything that I wouldn't think he cared about, he has shown interest in (or at least pretended to show interest to get on my nerves). I started showing him pictures of completed toppers and he was like "okay" to get me out his face so he could watch the NFL Hall of Fame Induction on ESPN.
I can't wait for these darn rhinestones to come in so I can make him feel bad.

ejagers

My FI has been very helpful during the planning process.  He wants to do all the technical stuff.  So he designed our website (and did a very nice job)!  He also is designing the scrollwork/ swirls on the invites and designing the monogram.

empegues

egammo, you just brightened my day with this post!  My FI had a similar reaction to the cake toppers I ordered.  Like chescam said, he's very visual too.. so unless I literally draw things out for him, I get the blank stare.  It makes me feel deflated sometimes because he isn't as excited about some things as I am, because he doesn't have the vision of how it will be in the end. 

No worries though.. FI loves everything I create/style, so I know that when the big day comes he'll love it. 

island07b2b

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-planning-process?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdf72f5a-6358-4f0a-8950-901368f0ae52Post:96bfd9e7-f43c-4ef6-806a-13d7ea1deac0">Re: FI and the planning process</a>:
[QUOTE]Same here baesmom. All he wants to know is prices
Posted by kamira87[/QUOTE]

Same here.  It can be annoying at times because there are some aspects of the wedding I want his input on so I won't have to hear his mouth later on.  LOL!

Sherri0129

Good thing is that my Fiance lives in a different state... so I don't have to worry about him finding something and asking tons of questions about it.  He's not like that anyway.  Hard part is that he's in another state!  I'm doing most of the planning.  He'll help out when I have a question or ask for his opinion.  But other than that he's more into watching our budget and making sure we stay beneath it. And at times, he'll throw in the quote, "Happy Wife, Happy Life". 

Here's a perfect example:   I asked him one day if there is anything that he has ever visioned for his wedding as a must have.  I wanted to make sure that if there was anything, we could try to incorporate it.  His response:  "a cake and some punch".  We both couldn't help but laugh!  It was so cute!  He then went on to say that it's really my day, and that he knows I'll pick the best things to represent both of us

Gotta love him!

wallacje

Mine didn't care but then he also knw to leave me be or he was going to be asked to help.  He made that mistake about the invitations, okay, you want to sit here and slow me down with you're annoying little questions.  Well sit down and here's stack and get to stuffing, cutting or gluing.  Needless to say after he helped with the invitations he didn't come around when I was "crafting."  Don't be all of in what I'm doing if you said at first "Babe, do whatever you like."

djscat

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-planning-process?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdf72f5a-6358-4f0a-8950-901368f0ae52Post:0ba6fb91-9218-4011-bf87-b56b70e88b74">FI and the planning process</a>:
[QUOTE]So when I originally received my crafty eddy cake topper in the mail I sat it out of plain site because I just knew my FI was going to have 50 million questions. So, of course his inquisitive butt found it and here comes the questions trying to be funny. "What are you going to do with this?" This reminds me of a big toothpick. How are you going to decorate it? Is the wood going to be in our cake?<strong> How much you paid for this? I could've done that! .</strong>... <strong>So, after all this I had to "Woosah!" and count to 10</strong>. To ease his mind, I went out to Michael's and purchased the supplies to paint the wood (while I wait for the rhinestones to come in) so that he could leave me alone about it. And then he goes, well why you didn't do that in the 1st place. He's lucky I changed my life, cause if I was the same Erica a year ago, he would've got a few choice words! LOL. Has your FI been inquisitive about any part of the planning that you didnt want him to be?
Posted by egammo3[/QUOTE]

When I got my cake topper he said the above WORD FOR WORD!!!! Girl I had to just leave the room. 

egammo3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-planning-process?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdf72f5a-6358-4f0a-8950-901368f0ae52Post:af08a107-959e-447c-a944-3ef89c26af6d">Re: FI and the planning process</a>:
[QUOTE]Mine didn't care but then he also knw to leave me be or he was going to be asked to help.  He made that mistake about the invitations, okay, you want to sit here and slow me down with you're annoying little questions.  Well sit down and here's stack and get to stuffing, cutting or gluing.  Needless to say after he helped with the invitations he didn't come around when I was "crafting."  Don't be all of in what I'm doing if you said at first "Babe, do whatever you like."
Posted by wallacje[/QUOTE]

LOL too funny! I sure did hand the paint brush to him, he did two strokes and left.

mrswac58

NO! and that's the problem. lol He's just now startng to be involved. Which is good because this is when things really start happening

mrswac58

NO! and that's the problem. lol He's just now startng to be involved. Which is good because this is when things really start happening

Soon2BSand

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-planning-process?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdf72f5a-6358-4f0a-8950-901368f0ae52Post:b7770fb2-1f96-4afa-88d9-d7e7e72c52de">Re: FI and the planning process</a>:
[QUOTE]Good thing is that my Fiance lives in a different state... so I don't have to worry about him finding something and asking tons of questions about it.  He's not like that anyway.  Hard part is that he's in another state!  I'm doing most of the planning.  He'll help out when I have a question or ask for his opinion.  But other than that he's more into watching our budget and making sure we stay beneath it. 
Posted by Sherri0129[/QUOTE]

<div>THIS like nearly word for word. </div>

CaramelBride973

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-planning-process?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdf72f5a-6358-4f0a-8950-901368f0ae52Post:fb7a79aa-fdbf-4f27-ae1a-aba8b59332eb">Re: FI and the planning process</a>:
[QUOTE]Mine doesnt care lol.. I want him to be involved and he keeps saying "its your day baby, do what you want" He has participated in some of it all but for the most part, he just wants to know the cost.
Posted by Baesmom[/QUOTE]

This is the same problem I have LOL. He comes with me to places but I told him once we book the DJ I don't need him anymore. I hate when he says I don't care it is up to you because I am a very indecisive person so that is why I need his help on certain things.

ThunderKitten2011

Babe makes me wanna strangle him! He is alllll underfoot with EVERY single aspect of the wedding. At times it is tooo cute, but others it's like "dude, back up and let me finish this!" But I love him so what the hay! LOL PS I got him out of the way for a few days when I put him to work putting alllllll the rhinestones on the cake topper!!! I have to admit he did a good job too.

PrettyCW5

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-planning-process?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdf72f5a-6358-4f0a-8950-901368f0ae52Post:b7770fb2-1f96-4afa-88d9-d7e7e72c52de">Re: FI and the planning process</a>:
<div class="Discussion_PostQuote">Good thing is that my Fiance lives in a different state... so I don't have to worry about him finding something and asking tons of questions about it.  He's not like that anyway.  Hard part is that he's in another state!  I'm doing most of the planning.  He'll help out when I have a question or ask for his opinion.  But other than that he's more into watching our budget and making sure we stay beneath it. 
Posted by Sherri0129</div>


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-planning-process?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdf72f5a-6358-4f0a-8950-901368f0ae52Post:ae3a7935-50f1-4d94-8e1f-8b396f8a7c83">Re: FI and the planning process</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FI and the planning process : THIS like nearly word for word. 
Posted by Soon2BSand[/QUOTE]

THIS AGAIN! :) lol except my FI doesn't live out of state but he does live 4 hours away. :)

Ksk2012

Ok so my FI's favorite line is "I want the cheapest one" so whatever it is he wants the cheapest. Except for some things. So his response to two oprtions : whichever one is cheaper.

Then he started giving too much of an opinion and more so questioning why we need this and that.. so I started shipping items to my sister's house.

 I did that so he would just see final product - I made the mistake and had labels sent to our house and he was like "Hmmm how much were those? Why do they look like that? Was this the only pattern?" Just too much, especially after I searched high and low for cheap labels and went back and forth before I ordered them a hundred times. So my plan is to ship everything there, we will put everything together there and show him the end result. Also, we live in a condo and Fed Ex and delivery services hardly ever use the call box. 

He too is visual and doesn't understand all the working pieces involved. And I could hear him say, "Oh I could have made that"... Just a mess!

egammo3

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-planning-process?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdf72f5a-6358-4f0a-8950-901368f0ae52Post:1aea907a-9270-4a9c-8f3e-08f3aa48d18e">Re: FI and the planning process</a>:
[QUOTE]Babe makes me wanna strangle him! He is alllll underfoot with EVERY single aspect of the wedding. At times it is tooo cute, but others it's like "dude, back up and let me finish this!" But I love him so what the hay! LOL PS I got him out of the way for a few days when I put him to work putting alllllll the rhinestones on the cake topper!!! I have to admit he did a good job too.
Posted by ThunderKitten2011[/QUOTE]

I would love for FI to help me with cake topper.... You are so lucky!

pinkcottoncandy7

My FI had a comment for everything and an alternative idea. 

japonica334

My fiance is no help at all!! But thats a good thing, although I wish he would help me with ideas more. I got all the supplies to make my cake card box and was so excited to paint and decorate it how i wanted and guess who took over my project?! LOL I stepped back, just happy that he is taking part in SOMETHING. But dang I wanted to do that box though...lol (stress reliever)

ThunderKitten2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_fi-planning-process?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cdf72f5a-6358-4f0a-8950-901368f0ae52Post:434084a2-7940-4714-a58e-96b9bd7d20c0">Re: FI and the planning process</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: FI and the planning process : I would love for FI to help me with cake topper.... You are so lucky!
Posted by egammo3[/QUOTE]

My guy is a gadget guy, so all I had to do was get all the tools and act all confused on how to use them (I'm like really, it's glue and a freaking syringe and rhinestones), but he HAS to help a damsel in distress. LOLOLOL! He wouldn't even glue them on at first. He would lay them on it to see how they should go (that took like 4 hours alone) ROFL!