Protocol?

vfriday

I am not sure what the proper protocol is about asking bridesmaids about their dresses and such.  Asking others to do anything for me has always been difficult.  I only have 2 BMs and one has sent back the rsvp and has mentioned going to order her dress.  The other, has said nothing.  Should I just come right out and ask when will she order or should I just say you need to order your dress so I can be sure you are coming.  I know money is tight and tickets to Vegas are expensive.  I am willing to help where I can because I really want her there.  We have been friends since we were 10 and I was her MOH in December.  She planned her wedding in exactly 20 days.  I just need to put my big girl panties on and ask if I want to know lol

tyboyd

You need to ask her when she plans to order her dress. Or you need to tell her she needs to order her dress by X date. I'm going through this RIGHT NOW! And it's because I was trying to be the easy going bride that didn't want to be forceful.

sadou02

You should tell her when she should have her dress ordered by.  I let my BM's know 2 months in advance then gave them a 1 month notice and the day I was set to order the dress, I was ready. I collected the money that way I could make sure they were ordered. 3 girls complied and had their money in on time. One had to wait on FA, which was a legitimate excuse so she had it the next week. The last one plum forgot but she did have it the following week.  So 2 orders but all dresses ordered in a timely fashion. Thank God.

Let her know as soon as possible that way you have an idea on whether or not you will need to help her order the dress.

sadou02

I just realized that our wedding: Ty, vfriday weddings are practically back to back. What a coinkidink

mahoganieyes

You just reminded me to email my girls the order deadline date.

tyboyd

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_protocol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:cf803880-1722-428b-bf75-d1077a0f8d58Post:f8fca9ee-6f61-42f7-bfb8-598e59fcd634">Re: Protocol?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just realized that our wedding: Ty, vfriday weddings are practically back to back. What a coinkidink
Posted by sadou02[/QUOTE]

Owww, YEP!!! Our days are approaching FAST!!!

YasJas2011

Girl.... I am also the same way! I hate to ask people to do anything for me. Since we have been engaged for over a year, I sent out newsletters to tell them about dresses, deadlines and everything! Reminds me that I need to get another newsletter together! But I had to also put my big girls panties on and asked them when they was going to pay for their dress. As a result, all but one paid for their dress on time!

JKeyes2011

You need to ask, there is is nothing rude about asking if and when she ordered her dress. It's pretty much a normal things to do and nothing out of the ordinary. I have got to start asking my girls about their dress money soon.

shesheduke

I doubt if I followed protocol but I don't ask for anything so when it came to this wedding it was finally my time to start requests. I told the girls they had until October the 1st when we had our BM meeting in August and that gave them a little under 2 months to come up with 70 bucks. Once the dresses are ordered they have until the day they pick them up to pay off the balance. I called them on September 1st to remind them and then I called the store to see who was outstanding. I sent a thank you message to those that had ordered after the first and then I emailed or called all the outstanding people to see if there was anything I could do to help them have it done by the 1st of October. Everyone said they were good and by September 30th I had a message from my bridal store saying all orders were placed. I got the dresses back a few weeks ago and now they are waiting for alterations.

These ladies need a push every now and again but if they are truly here to support you then it wont take too much.

Good luck and don't take no mess. Your time is ticking and very precious!

lil01

I agree with some pp about giving deadlines & reminders as the deadline approaches. That's what I did. I made sure to discuss the dress deadline on a monthly basis via email and text. A few wks ago, my sis didn't respond to the email like everyone else did. So instead of being demanding, I sent her a text asking her if she was cool with everything & could I be of any assistance. She did respond then.