WWYD??

simbidi

Sooooooo..... I just returned home from being out of town for work and I found a package at my front door.  FI loves to shop, so I just assumed he had something sent to me.  I kind of looked like a shoe box and he has certainly bought me plent pairs of shoes.  When I opened it, it was a big blue box with a pretty white ribbon.... Tiffany & Co!

So, I proceeded to open it to find a pair of crystal champagne flutes.  It was our first wedding present!  What a shocker!!  Now, here's the catch.  the gift is from a young lady who is a former classmate.  We were in our doctoral program together, but really only spent about 5 days total in each other's presence in the last 4 years.  We are FB friends and we use to email occasionally to discuss dissertation process, etc.

As nice as she is, we are not close and she was not even remotely considered for the guest list.  I don't even have an address to send her a proper thank you.  She lives in ATL, we are in MD and getting married here.  Now I feel guilty about not inviting her to the wedding.  She travels a lot and probably would come.

Should I add her to the list (don't really have space, but could force it) or do I get her address, say thank you and keep it moving?  

banks69

I am going to give this person the benefit of the doubt and say that she does not expect an invitation based on the gift.  But don't feel pressured to invite someone because they bought you something (and a nice gift at that!).  I've purchased gifts for people without any expectations before; so perhaps she's just being kind.  Just don't forget the thank her. 

That just reminds me - I've got a stack of cards to put in the mail!

msapril0730

Idk.... I would probably invite her because I'm too nice.

But I agree with banks, don't feel pressured into inviting her!

hatroopes

I would invite her since she was nice enough to send a gift (I assume you've at least talked about the wedding with her?) Since you could probably force her in on the list and have 6 months to go - I would send her an invite. JMHO.

Carla1019

Yes, I agree that a gift should come without expectations from the sender. What if you invite her and then she feels obligated to come. If you have her phone number call her to get an address and send the thank you card. I know a lot of people that would send a nice gift BECAUSE they have no intentions of attending.

tyboyd

I'd get her mailing address and send her a thank you.... That's all.

lil01

I'm on the fence with that one. Part of me says invite her, but only if you can. Another part of me feels that she sent the gift because she knew she would not be in attendance to physically give it to you. I'm sorta no help...sorry.

By the way, how did she get your address? Or was it a registry item that you selected to have shipped to your house?

kiyamurph

I agree with most of the pp, I would send her a thank you, or call her and thank her if you have her number and that's it.  Like others said, some people send gifts simply out of the kindness of their heart and they don't expect an invitation in return.  I know it's difficult because you feel like a mean person, but you simply can't invite everyone.  That was really nice of her to do that but I don't think it should warrant an invitation.

cherryblossom5

I would thank her for lovely gift! but keep moving!!

sweets18

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wwyd-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:cf900543-eb2f-4170-8c06-7ff44a7989c6Post:7759f2b0-a55b-4e3e-b1c5-a30c2e0c2e59">Re: WWYD??</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm on the fence with that one. Part of me says invite her, but only if you can. Another part of me feels that she sent the gift because she knew she would not be in attendance to physically give it to you. I'm sorta no help...sorry. By the way, how did she get your address? Or was it a registry item that you selected to have shipped to your house?
Posted by lil01[/QUOTE]

Completely agree... and I wanna know how she got the address too????

island07b2b

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wwyd-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:cf900543-eb2f-4170-8c06-7ff44a7989c6Post:8dd3b8e2-57ae-43b9-885e-680247a533e5">Re: WWYD??</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: WWYD?? : Completely agree... and I wanna know how she got the address too????
Posted by sweets18[/QUOTE]

I was thinking the very same thing. 

simbidi

Hi everyone.... thanks for your feedback.  I think I will get her address and send a sincere thank you and let it be done.

Me and this young lady have attended the same school for the last 4 years.  When we started 4 years ago, we were in a cohort and we all exchanged contact info.  Apparently, she still has her directory.  I have no clue where mine is... I probably threw it away.  I don't even have her phone number.  So, I will message her on FB to get her address to send a proper thank you.

M1ssJ

I'm on the fence too!!! But I think you sending a thank you would be enough, even if she gets offended, you wont know since you dont really talk to her win win