Hiring a Planner

dreamwinds

I am meeting a potential wedding planner tomorrow and I am so incredibly nervous. I feel like puking and feel sick to my stomach. I hate these kinds of meetings which is partly the reason why we want to hire a planner in the first place, so I won't have to do these kinds of meetings. ._.

I'm afraid I'll like her too much and hire her on the spot without thinking. Or I'll not like her, but still hire her on the spot. Or not hire her and be wishy washy forever.

And the FI has tried to be patient with me on the phone for the last two hours, but he doesn't understand why I'm nervous. (I'm normally the social butterfly and extrovert and good with people person -- I just don't like being good with people in these situations.) ._.

Gosh, I feel so sick. I don't even know what I want to ask or expect of a planner other than someone who can do vendor meetings for me instead. ^^;;;;;;

Tygirljojo

Do you mind asking me what about the meeting(s) is making you so nervous?  Are you afraid you'll "hurt" or "offend" a vendor by not hiring them?

As for the fear of hiring them on the spot, just remind yourself and practice this like "Thank you so much for meeting with me, I really appreciate it.  I'm going to talk with my fiance and will get back to you once we've had our conversation." and then finish the meeting.  It gives you time to sleep on things and make it so, if you don't want to hire the person, you're  not necessarily the "bad guy" (it could be your FI who they'll never meet!).

carrieoz_76

FYI, I have some questions in my bio (under Questions for Vendors) that you may find helpful.

Also, just do what I did when I went to look at puppies - take someone with you and tell them not to let you take home the puppy (or hire the planner on the spot ).  Then, wait a few days.  It also helps to meet with someone else so you have something to compare the experience to.  I found that really helpful in hiring vendors.

dreamwinds

carrie: Thanks for the link to the questions. Reading them helped calm me a little bit since these are all things I've thought of and know to ask, but I have this sinking feeling I'll totally lose my brain when I sit down to talk with them tomorrow.

tygirl: as for why I'm nervous... I just get really nervous in these situations, when I'm interviewing someone or being interviewed. I'm normally really good in social situations, parties, getting to know new people and interacting in general. I tend to create conversation and moods among my friends, but somehow this... interviewing thing always (for no precise reason) makes me feel sick. It might be because I might not hire them in the end and maybe I feel I've wasted their time coming out to meet with me? I'm not sure. Just meh.

sarack

interesting. Try to just stay calm. You could just try to pretend that this person is your long time friend, maybe that will help you relax a little.

I agree with tygirl about everything. if i don't want to book a vendor, i blame it on FI. hahahah, I'm a bad bride I know.. but it does the trick.

BrandyL10

I say write out your questions and bring them with you. That way you won't have to remember all of them and kick yourself for forgetting one.
I also agree with Tygirl and Carrie, they have very sound advice, as usual! But don't worry, be like Sara and blame FI!  :P
But seriously, they are probably meeting with a lot of other brides just like you, so don't feel like you're hurting their feelings. I'm sure they'll have another client if you turn them down.
Good luck! And breathe!

dreamwinds

As usual, the FI was right, I get nervous for no reason. We met and talked about everything and nothing for 2.5 hours. I loved them.

Tygirljojo

That's good.  Did you hire them on the spot?

dreamwinds

*shiftyeyes* *looks really really sheepish*

Yes. ^^;;;;;;;

KST_

Hahaha...but do you feel HAPPY with that decision now after hiring them on the spot? Because that's what matters. However, the people you were meeting with are highly reputable and if chattered like that and felt super-comfortable with them, then that's the other important thing: that you click.