New to the Board - Need Advice

caramal78

My hubby and i were "married" 5 years ago. well we found out that marriage is not valid. in DC we are doing the common law thing. the thing is only a handful of people knows the truth. we are planning our "renewal" next year 10/1/11 on our 6th anniversary. how should i word everything? i am not worried about gifts since i have everything and my extended family always give money for everthing . but do i have the entire wedding party again, do i just do it with me and him at the alter? do i tell everyone (something i really dont want to do) that we are doing it right this time?

ufsweetiebear

Hi!

So sorry to hear your marriage wasn't valid. But if you're not comfortable telling everyone - DON'T! Your marriage was real to you 5 years ago. So use the wording that makes you happy.

hisSparklett

You don't need to tell anyone anything that you don't want to just like you don't have to have attendants if you don't want to. I googled a vow renewal wordings. I hope this helps:

The honor of your presence
is requested at
the reaffirmation of the wedding vows of
Sharon and Martin Jones
Saturday, March 25 etc.

OR

Please join us
as we renew our wedding vows and celebrate 25 years together
Sharon and Martin Jones
Saturday, March 25 etc.

luckyinloveaz

Welcome to the board!!  I wouldnt mention anything either, sorry it wasn't valid in the eyes of the law, but in your hearts it was and that's all the matters. Renewing your vows is lovely. I cant wait to be married myself, and already thinking of places to go just FI and I to renew our vows every 5yrs:)  Happy Planning!!

caramal78

thanks for the input. my husband was wondering what to call it but i like the second of renewing our vows and celebrating 6 years. i just want it legal in case anything happens. my grandmother didnt have hers legal and when he passed she had to go through a lot of red tape. so i guess having a second wedding wont be bad after all.

KSTURGIS

Welcome to the board !

And I agree with the ladies. You dont have to tell anyone anything. Use whatever makes you and your hubby comfortable.

Rhoyal_1

Welcome to the board!  I also agree with PPs.  You two do not have to mention anything!  Have the wedding the way you two want.

amberlynned

DO you want a huge wedding with a WP, cake, sit-down dinner & the whole 9 yards? If so, you're right, without telling everyone all your details, the invitation wording will be difficult & I have no idea about how to help with that. I agree with the PP and say don't tell if you're not comfortable. Your comfort is the most important thing here.

But I also say that if they are your true friends & family, they wont care if your first wasn't legal. I'd be kind of confused if I got an invitation from someone saying they were renewing their vows in 6 years. It seems like an odd number most people do it in 5's or 10's. So some may guess that something even worse than that is up. And to be honest, you could make it really fun if you approach the situation as an "oops" rather than a secret you don't want to let out. But that's just IMO.

happe2gether

Welcome to the board and I also agree with everyone.  It is your business to say something or not so don't feel obligated to do so if it makes you uncomfortable.

MAGNUM06

Hi Caramal... Welcome... I'm Waaayyyyy late on this one... but to me... there really isnt anything to tell.....Sometimes we provide too much information to those that really dont NEED to know.... You can just word your invitations as a re-affirmation of vows... and ieep it moving... if you decide to disclose the circumstance of your marriage not being legal... thats only going to open Pandora's Box of questions that you really dont want and dont have to answer.... Thats just my opinion... I wouldnt tell anybody anything... If they didnt already know.... They wouldnt know... Sometimes LESS is MORE!!!!