African American Weddings

{2011 Bridal Advice for 2012 Brides}

I thought about this the other night. I would like all 2011 Brides(even lurkers) to add to this post. Leave your top 3 advice for the upcoming 2012 ladies. I also challenge you to post a picture of you and hubby together from your wedding day. A beautiful picture to show these 2012 that all the headaches and crying will be worth it.  So come out of lurk mode.....Thanks!

#1 Evaluate your finances- I love David Tutera dearly but our budget was limited. I would have loved to have chair covers and spazzed about this days leading up to the wedding. Well, we did not have covers but the room was still beautiful. You can save your money for more important things!

#2- Whose wedding is this? Seriously! Not everyone will care about your wedding as much as you. Family and even close friends will hurt your feelings by making remarks about your wedding, but if you really want this, then keep on with your plans. Limit talk about your wedding with non bridal friends because most do not understand "our" world.Foot in mouth

#3 Keep organized and stay on time! If you need help...ask for it! I also recommend a good coordinator and not your cousin Quetta....kwim? I will admit to being stubborn and waiting to do things at the last minute. Some ideas fell through because I refused to ask for help and then I finally did and luckily I had people to help.




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Re: {2011 Bridal Advice for 2012 Brides}

  • Great Post!

    I needed this reminder that all our blood, tears, and sweat WILL pay off in the long run.
    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • 1 - Put your money into the bigger items - food, bar, photographer, venue and DJ - no one will remember the rest of it and you will need a good photographer because the day goes by so quickly.

    2 - Be realistic about what you can afford vs what you can't.  There are needs and wants for any situation and your wedding day should be treated the same way.

    3 - Please don't be tardy for your own party either!!!  We weren't but I've been to weddings that have started late and its just annoying and rude.

    I probably wouldn't have spent as much on my invitations and I would have splurged more on a better videographer.  Everything else was GREAT!!!!


  • I'm so glad you thought of this post.  It'll be an excellent resource, thanks!!!
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  • I'm usually a lurker, but I'm coming out of lurk mode to say that I'll definitely be watching this thread. I love advice threads, and, as a 2012 bride, my day is getting closer and closer! Thank you to all the brides who have posted so far, and thanks in advance to any other brides who will post. :-)
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  • Good info!  Still debating on a videographer!  On other things like trips, I've bought things like videos, lots of pictures and realized I've never gone back and looked at them.  Obviously, this is  a bigger occasion and have been struggling with is it worth the cost and how many people go back and look at their wedding video on a regular basis? 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_2011-bridal-advice-2012-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:d8bd1c10-ea30-4852-9733-f87206ca7bf1Post:8200cbf5-82dd-4c24-9b56-41ca1af4f9ef">{2011 Bridal Advice for 2012 Brides}</a>:
    [QUOTE]I thought about this the other night. I would like all 2011 Brides(even lurkers) to add to this post. Leave your top 3 advice for the upcoming 2012 ladies. I also challenge you to post a picture of you and hubby together from your wedding day. A beautiful picture to show these 2012 that all the headaches and crying will be worth it.  So come out of lurk mode.....Thanks! #1 Evaluate your finances- I love David Tutera dearly but our budget was limited. I would have loved to have chair covers and spazzed about this days leading up to the wedding. Well, we did not have covers but the room was still beautiful. You can save your money for more important things! #2- Whose wedding is this? Seriously! Not everyone will care about your wedding as much as you. Family and even close friends will hurt your feelings by making remarks about your wedding, but if you really want this, then keep on with your plans. Limit talk about your wedding with non bridal friends because most do not understand "our" world. #3 Keep organized and stay on time! If you need help...ask for it!<strong> I also recommend a good coordinator and not your cousin Quetta....kwim?</strong> I will admit to being stubborn and waiting to do things at the last minute. Some ideas fell through because I refused to ask for help and then I finally did and luckily I had people to help.
    Posted by mahoganieyes[/QUOTE]

    Also, this made me LOL. ;-)
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  • 1. It's your wedding others will give input just listen and brush it off. It's your day!!
    2. Don't just settle on a photographer, do your research. I messed up and think I could have took better pics myself.
    3. All the little details that you dont get done, no one will notice but you. Your day will still be perfect. Make sure you take it all in and EJNOY it!!

    Good Luck future brides!! Married life is AWESOME Smile

     
  • Thank you so much to all who share. This is a great idea. I'll be watching this thread.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_2011-bridal-advice-2012-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:d8bd1c10-ea30-4852-9733-f87206ca7bf1Post:d0994577-755f-4c9c-b17c-2f250505b29b">Re: {2011 Bridal Advice for 2012 Brides}</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good info!  Still debating on a videographer!  On other things like trips, I've bought things like videos, lots of pictures and realized I've never gone back and looked at them. <strong> Obviously, this is  a bigger occasion and have been struggling with is it worth the cost and how many people go back and look at their wedding video on a regular basis? 
    </strong>Posted by mstoini[/QUOTE]

    Our ceremony video was included in our wedding package.  We've watched it a couple times since but I'm glad we have it.  Our reception video isn't great so we watched it once and haven't even thought about it since. That was money we could have saved.  I'm just glad that we had an awesome photographer who really captured the moments of our reception and really the whole day.
  • Thanks for posting this Mahoganieyes! Maybe Ms. Mod can make this an ongoing  sticky Wink
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  • I love this! I know I've been MIA, but I wanted to add my 2 cents:

    1. Be honest about your budget vs. your dream wedding - We all hav visions of what we want our day to look like, maybe since we were little girls...but now you've grown up and it's time to get real. It's not worth going into debt over one day. Make a list of must-haves and would-like-to-have. Make sure you take care of the must-haves first and if budget permits, then you can get th other stuff. I splurged on some things, but at the end of the day, I'm glad it was all paid for - IN CASH! Also, make sure you and your FI are in agreement with the budget.

    2. Research, Research, Research - Don't settle on the first vendor or anything else. The ladies on this board are a great resource as well. I spent countless hours on the internet searching for deals - I found our photog, videographer, cake baker on craigslist and paid way less than the usual average. Also, be sure to negotiate and start looking for vendors really early in your planning process. We booked our photog and videographer in late 2010 for our October 2011 wedding and were able to lock in the 2010 rates. We would not be able to afford our photog now since his prices have almost doubled, so I'm glad we booked him when we did. If you can, go ahead and take care of the big stuff early (venue, food, photog)

    3. On the actual day, make sure you take some time to take it all in. Everyone says this, but the day go by really fast! At the end of the day, as long as you get married, it will be a good day. That really helps to keep it in perspective when people start to drive you crazy (and they will lol)


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  • this is a great post!! thanks to all the ladies who share!
  • As a wedding planner, I have planned a bunch of weddings before my own so I knew what the good, bad,and ugly possibilities were for my wedding day.  Knowing what I know now actually living the process as a bride, here is what I would like to share:

    1. Be very realistic about your budget.  While we all want the fairytales that the industry and the media sell us via celebrities with endless budgets, but you have to live life after your 8 hour party.  We decided that we had a finite amount of cash to spend on our wedding and we agreed in advance not to go into debt to pay for the wedding. DH is an accountant so that was not an option. In order to keep to our budget, we cut our guest list down by about 50 people. I didn't want to water down my vision to accommodate more people so we kept it small and served great food and hosted the bar all night. If you want control over your budget, pay for your own wedding. You will never enjoy your wedding day if you know you have 10's of thousands of dollars in debt once the party ends.  While everyone wants to enjoy the party, they will not join you in paying the bill.  

    2. There is no such thing as an obligatory invite. You are not obligated to invite people because they are family, childhood friends, you went to their wedding or they will be heartbroken if they don't come.  This same principle goes for members of your wedding party.  You don't have to have someone in your wedding because you were in theirs.  People make different choices about how they select guests and wedding party members, so one person's barometer may not be yours.

    3. Make your priority on the wedding day to enjoy some quiet moments with your DH.  Don't get bogged down in a bunch of little details that nobody knows about that distract you from enjoying your wedding day. It goes by SO FAST that you don't want to miss out on enjoying the moments as they unfold.  Once its over you cannot get the day back.  Be present in it as much as you can.  Make the time to take those extra pictures.  You will have your photos for a lifetime.  

    It is important to share your joy with the people who are important to you, but there is no need to break the bank to do that. It is more important to prepare to build a life with your DH vs. only focusing on the production that is your wedding day. 
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  • Perfect post.  Keep it coming ladies.  I am taking it all in.  :)



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  • prncszprncsz member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    1. Don't be afraid to down size-when we got engaged we were both working. I stopped to attend grad school and dh lost his job and took a major pay cut. Our wedding still turned out great though. We just had to adjust. 2. Be prepared for anything- any and everything will happen leading up to the wedding day. Take it in then look for other options and remember at the end of the day all that matters is you and your fiance marrying at the end of the day. 3. Please please do not skimp on your wedding photos and video. All you have left at the end the day and check references. 4. After the wedding try not to have high expectations. When we got married I thought we would all of a sudden have all of this time to spend together. He went back to work and I went back to school. Take things one day at a time and get the book The First Five Years of Marriage by Paul Swihart and Wilford Wooten. It is eye opening and definitely has helped me adjust to this first year of marriage. Talks about everything from in-laws to finances.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_2011-bridal-advice-2012-brides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:d8bd1c10-ea30-4852-9733-f87206ca7bf1Post:d0994577-755f-4c9c-b17c-2f250505b29b">Re: {2011 Bridal Advice for 2012 Brides}</a>:
    [QUOTE]Good info!  Still debating on a videographer!  On other things like trips, I've bought things like videos, lots of pictures and realized I've never gone back and looked at them.  Obviously, this is  a bigger occasion and have been struggling with is it worth the cost and how many people go back and look at their wedding video on a regular basis? 
    Posted by mstoini[/QUOTE]



    Please get a videographer and a good one. I missed so much on my wedding day (entrance of family and bridal party, etc) although my wedding video was not so great because I had a bad videographer what I did recieve allowed me to experience my wedding day all over again. I teared up watching my entrance, seeing how happy we were once we were pronounced husband and wife and seeing how much fun our family and friends had celebrating with us! I wish I had spent more money on this and photography.
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  • I agree with what all the other ladies have posted!

    - If you can help it don't pick your bridal party too early. I would have definitely cut my 7 down to 3 if I would have waited.





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  • Loving this post ladies!!!!
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  • Its been a WHILEEE!! Hi ladies!

    What a great post Mahoganieyes.

    The finance issue has been covered. Thats a BIG BIG one for all u ladies still in planning.

    1) I'm all for staying in budget and cutting cost. But ladies, dont go over-board with the DIY projects. You may end up spending much more money. Be efficient and wise when taking up DIY projects. They can be veryyy time consuming, and money draining.

    2) IT IS YOUR (well, u and ur fiance) DAY!!! Do as YOU please!! Dont think about pleasing others. Remember, those who MIND dont MATTER, and those who MATTER don't MIND.   

    3) ENJOYYYY the day!!! Enjoy it, enjoy it!! Dont sweat the small stuff! Dont let anything or anyone steal ONE MINUTE of ur day by ruining ur mood! SMILE and get over it -  at the end of the day, you'll be UNITED as ONE wit the one you've longed for, for so long and the reason for ur big day!

    ALLLL THE BEST 2012 brides and all future brides! Wishing you a WONDERFUL time planning and an AWESOME AWESOME wedding day!





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  • Ladies thank you for posting the helpful advice.
  • I'm taking in all of this wonderful advice!! Thanks ladies, keep em coming
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  • Gosh, it had been a while! My only advise is to try to do date night at least one night a week with your fiance and make it a point NOT to discuss anything wedding related! You are still dating and still need to continue to get to know each other. Make time to discuss your future, your finances, kids and such. Folks often forget that after this fabulous party, life goes on. Start planning that life now and laying the foundation for your future! Goodluck ladies! And like PP said, married life is awesome! Yes there are disagreements but at the end of the day, you know your partner will be there right beside you.
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  • chescamchescam member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited January 2012
    1. Include your fiance in the planning process. My husband had some really great ideas and we were able to tackle tough situations together. The guest list was  our greatest obstacle and it will cause tension. Try you best to prepare for this part of the planning process. 

    2. I can't stress this enough but ask your vendors for client references. Reading reviews online is good and all but being able to communicate with one of their previous clients gives you more perspective. 

    3. Set a realistic budget and order your priorities. We set  our priorities and cut or modified other areas to  stay within budget. Research everything and start early. We were able to save a considerable amount on our venue, catering, tuxes, florals, wedding planner, photo booth and my dress. We DIY our wedding invitations.  People thought we spent an arm and a leg but we saved big and paid a fraction of the retail value. 

    Congratulations 2012 brides. May your wedding be everything you envisioned. 

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  • Great post ladies!

    1. We got married on one of the most popular sates of 2011 9.10.11 so we had to book everything early to get the vendors we really wanted. So my suggestion for brides would be to start early. Start your research early and book the stuff that you are dead set on early reception photog etc. Most prices raise so once you are set on that vendor book before someone else grabs them up.

    2. This is your wedding dont let your family run the show. My MIL was off the hook she added about 60 people to our list at the last minute and our guestlist went out of control. She ended up paying of the people that she invited but it sucked to have a room with people that I had no clue who they were. DH felt the same so if we could change that we would have. She was a Momzilla and as soon as the wedding was over she went right back to her normal self which I was worried about cause she really took me throw it for this wedding.

    3. Get a PROFESSIONAL VIDEOGRAPHER. We had it in the budget but DH said his uncle had recorded everyone in the families wedding and would be offended if we didnt let him record ours. Needless to say that was the worst decision EVER. He didnt even have a disc in the camera when he was recording Where they do that at? Now we have no video of our special day. That has helped me win countless disagreements since we got married I just say Uncle Ronnie and DH says whatever you want LOL but seriously I think a video would have been great would have allowed us to see everything that we missed and really reflect on our special day so please get a professional and enjoy your day to the fullest!

    The ladies on this board rock use them to help you and also offer that shoulder. I have made some wonderful friends on this boards and everyone has really helped me along my wedding planning road
  • Great advice ladies thanks
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  • Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is great advice!

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  • Loving this thread ladies!  Thanks for all the advice!
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  • kaimahkaimah member
    Tenth Anniversary 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited January 2012
    Thank you ladies! 
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  • Thanks ladies for all the wonderful advice.  I have really grown to appreciate and love all of you.  You ladies are the only people in the world that truly understand everything that is going on with weddings, being a bride, and everything that goes along with that.  I value your positive vibes, comments, and company.  Thanks so much! 
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