African American Weddings
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Should I awaken my inner bridezilla?

I love my FMIL I really do we get along great however she called me yesterday and told me that she found her dress for the wedding. She got it from the same shop that I got my bridal gown from so I know its a nice dress. However she asked me what color she should get it in and I gave my suggestion which she agreed to. Then She hit me with the "I am not showing you my dress I want it to be a surprise" I thought I was the bride here I am the only one that is supposed to have a surprise dress.

I wouldn't be concerned except I know how she is. She can dress her butt off but she is a showoffish kind of person so I don't want her to be all over the top like she has been in her other kids weddings. In Fi's twin sisters wedding in 08 she wore a white ball gown and could have very well be mistaken for a bride herself. I don't want that to happen in our wedding or I will have to go off. What should I say to her about the dress? Or should I just go up to the shop and tell my sales lady to show me the dress. any advice is welcome...

Re: Should I awaken my inner bridezilla?

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    msapril0730msapril0730 member
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    edited December 2011
    I would just go up to the shop and ask your sales lady what she ordered
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_should-awaken-inner-bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:e1711f85-6705-4b27-a157-9c9a91209c3cPost:d31ef7b9-ca16-4df0-a769-59faf33e2019">Re: Should I awaken my inner bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would just go up to the shop and ask your sales lady what she ordered
    Posted by msapril0730[/QUOTE]

    Ditto! And if its okay just let her keep thinking its a surprise. I just don't have patience with these people anymore...


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    sheshedukeshesheduke member
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    edited December 2011
    Agreed, I need to go up there and make a payment on my dress anyway so I think this is the route I am going to take. I just wonder what the heck would make her think I want it to be a surprise. I offered to go with her to pick it out and I also saw my own mothers dress why wouldn't i see her's?

    She spent $1200 on Fi's twin sisters dress that she wore to her wedding and my mom only spent $40 from JC Penny.  Not that they have to be alike but she is going to come in looking like the bride and that is not going to fly with me and she knows me well enough to know this.
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    edited December 2011
    I would definitely go to the shop! Some people just think it's a day for them to shine.
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with the other ladies. Any suprises for you on your wedding day need to be wrapped and on the gift table.lol
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    edited December 2011
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    edited December 2011
    Crazy people it tell ya! Who does a White Ball gown to anyones wedding!!! SHHESSHH!!
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    edited December 2011
    you should go the shop, see the dress, and then tell her that you did... let her get ticked off for a change. 
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    tyboydtyboyd member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_should-awaken-inner-bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:e1711f85-6705-4b27-a157-9c9a91209c3cPost:3a32b5a9-2c3b-4ef4-a7f0-b3477281a2a9">Re: Should I awaken my inner bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]you should go the shop, see the dress, and then tell her that you did... let her get ticked off for a change. 
    Posted by arcany123[/QUOTE]

    <div>THIS!!! LOL!!!</div>
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    sheshedukeshesheduke member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yall She just called me to tell me the freaking dress costs $900.00 that is my than my damn wedding dress cost! who the hell wears a $900 dress to a wedding that is not yours. I am going to the shop tomorrow I get off late tonight but I am going up there and they bests to show me that freaking dress I am pissed what the heck is wrong with her I just had to get off the phone. If you got $900 to spend on a damn dress then you can give me some funds for this freaking wedding!

    vent over for now me and FI are about to have a little talk about mommy dearest!
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    edited December 2011
    Run don't walk to that store and see the dress.  Have you thought about what you will tell her if it isn't appropriate? 
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    sheshedukeshesheduke member
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    edited December 2011
    Yes I am going to tell her it is my damn day and she needs to fall back. She know how I am so it better just be an over priced dress. She showed her daughter the picture online and she said it is a grown nice dress. She (the daughter) is a grown and sexy kind of girl and she said the dress is grown and not sexy but her tail wont even tell me what the dress looks like both of them are going to be on my list in 2.2 seconds.
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    edited December 2011
    whooo sah lady lol I would def gp up there as well because that's rude like you said your dress is suppose to be the only surprise. 900 is out of control for a MOG dress. Let us know how it turns out. I hope for her sake you don't let the zilla in you come out lol
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    edited December 2011
    the more I think about this, the more I realize that she is doing all of this for attention.  if you make a big deal about this, you may be giving her exactly what she is looking for.  try not to flip out, check out the dress, mention to her casually that you saw it, then walk away.  try not to make it a big deal to her, otherwise you will be playing into her game. 
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    sheshedukeshesheduke member
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    edited December 2011
    True! She has never been an attention whore before especially when it comes to me but I guess since this is her second to last kid to get married she really wants to flaunt. I am going to remain cool and just go up there. I will give an update tomorrow hopefully before the VKN over 4 weddings. So stay posted ladies I am breathing deeply right now with fingers crossed that the dress is appropriate and that the sales lady shows me wassup or else yall watch for me on the news.
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    edited December 2011
    I dont think you should go behind her back and ask the store what she purchased because if its inappropriate and you have to comfront her yor are going to have to tell her you did that and I dont know how she is but she might take it the wrong way. I would definetly unleash the bridzilla but just be direct and if she wont show u the dress let her know what you dont want her to wear so if she needs to make a change then she'll be running not walking to the dress store to change that order.
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    desi2002desi2002 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_should-awaken-inner-bridezilla?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:e1711f85-6705-4b27-a157-9c9a91209c3cPost:fcff8b63-e730-473b-bd0d-718a3d45be60">Re: Should I awaken my inner bridezilla?</a>:
    [QUOTE]the more I think about this, the more I realize that she is doing all of this for attention.  if you make a big deal about this, you may be giving her exactly what she is looking for.  try not to flip out, check out the dress, mention to her casually that you saw it, then walk away.  try not to make it a big deal to her, otherwise you will be playing into her game. 
    Posted by arcany123[/QUOTE]

    THIS!!! This is perfect!
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    edited December 2011
    I am with most of the prior posters. It's your day your wedding and bottom line you want to see the dress. If she is quick to try and take the spot light like she has before then check her on it. I would say it as, "I had to go to the store and make a payment on my dress and the sales clerk told me that my mother-in-law made her purchase she showed me the dress OOOPPSSS!!!

    Then go in on her azz.....not in a negative way but you need to lovingly explain to her that you are not comfortable with the dress she chose to purchase and you would hope that she could understand it and take it back and get something more mother-in-law ishhhhhh. Hell!! She is not even the mother of the dayummm bride. **GIRL BOO**
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    edited December 2011
    I would ask her one more time if she would be willing to show me the dress. If she's still on her "its a surprise" kick, I would then go to the shop. Afterwards, I would let her know I saw the dress and let her know that its not appropriate and that it actually clashes. I would be blunt & honest, but respectful at the same time.

    I would also speak with FI about it since its his mother. It may not help any, but at least he'll know that a storm is brewing & he may try to diffuse it himself before it gets outta control. Keep us updated!
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