DJs and Friends and hookups... oh my

mejai1

Ok... this is a bit of a rant, but I would like your advice.  This is about the DJ.

So, FI has an old friend and her man is a DJ. They've been together for a LONG time. So... I have no doubt that he's capable. I've met him, we've talked wedding business, and he has definitely done weddings. He DJs at clubs too, and I know he knows how to DJ. Our Best Man's wife had this particular DJ at her birthday party and she said he's REALLY GOOD. 

What I'm having an issue with is this. I would like for things to be professional. Let me know what the particulars are, let's execute a contract, and let's move forward. We had the DJ and his girlfriend come over to talk wedding business one evening over drinks. They were supposed to show up at 8:30. She showed up after 9:00, and he got here at about 10:30. They were here until after 1:00 am. The quote that he gave us was a great price, but there were still some open-ended details (about doing both the ceremony and reception and getting power to the ceremony venue). 

Now, I'm all for friends and working together, but there's this thing happening where I'm not really the friend of them, and I'm not getting anywhere with moving this forward to completion... Again, I'm sure that he knows how to DJ, but I'd really like to get the details ironed out and a contract done.

Am I overreacting? Should I chill and wait???

kala1322

I think you should just tell the FI and the DJ what your expectations are, and if he can't accomodate them, another DJ can. The end. Good Luck!

MrsBoss2012

My coworker's husband is going to be our DJ. We've been to their house before but when we set up the meeting we specifically said we want to set a time where we can discuss details of the wedding. Maybe let him know you want to meet for buiness not pleasure/fun purposes.

Elizabeth80

I don't think you're overreacting at all! We have a few things set up like this where friends are helping out because they own a business etc. Initially I accepted whatever help came my way but we had to go back on this. One friend is a photographer and was just too laid back about our engagement pics and planned to do our wedding pics. With such an important detail I had to secure someone else and have been at peace since we did.

We just wanted to be sure that things were done in a timely fashion and the least stressful as possible. Its your big day and you don't want to have to worry about someone being late, unprofessional etc. If he doesn't step it up I might find someone else:/

Soon2BSand

Overreacting no... but this is why I don't mix friends and business. They think "oh because we're cool I can relax a bit" and that's not the case. I don't think he's being intentionally flaky but he's just under the impression that you know his ability and all that isn't nescessary. 

This is one reason why I don't utilize some of "our" businesses... it's hard for me to say and I hate that I feel this way but I hate HATE it when I come in and they go all "sista girl" on me because we share a same level of melanin. 

*sorry for the mini rant*

I'd let him know you'd really like to nail things down but have a back up just in case... Oh and I've noticed that generally DJs are flaky. LOL

mejai1

Thanks. I hear you guys. I think that some of this issue is with FI too because he is cool with the DJ and really wants it to work out... and the price is good. I do have a back up in mind (who, by the way,still shares the same level of melanin ) that was FAR more professional by phone and clearly stated his rates, asked about the setup, etc. 

This is exactly why I prefer not to mix business and friendship, but I can't believe that this always has to be the case...

I'll keep you all posted!

ladychambers83

Definitely not over reacting! I agree with PP, Meet him at a neutral place and set down the laws!!

I knew my DJ from before (he's a barber at the salon where I get my hair done, and night club dj on weekends) and he's amazing but I appreciate the fact that when I first approached him about my wedding he was very professional, with setting up a meeting, prepared with sample cd's (although he knows I've heard him before), and contract.  When he could've clearly came to me inbetween a wash and dry lol

Once he knows where you stand, then give him a chance to show you his professional side. If he still tardy, and unprofessional, don't waste time PLAN B!!!