African American Weddings

Tuesday Tips

What are some of the best ways to AVOID an argument?

(I know that disagreements happen but how do you prevent it from turning into something bigger?)
AAW June 2011 Siggy Challenge : "Daddy and Me"

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Wedding Planning Blog (Updated 10/18/10)

Re: Tuesday Tips

  • tyboydtyboyd member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Nod and agree. lol. Just {kinna} kidding.
  • TysWife2BeTysWife2Be member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_tuesday-tips-23?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:f2018088-4ec2-4cb3-b686-91ce7164a207Post:6d018ddf-3925-462f-bd65-b6bdbeb35c01">Re: Tuesday Tips</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nod and agree. lol. Just {kinna} kidding.
    Posted by tyboyd[/QUOTE]

    LoL!
    AAW June 2011 Siggy Challenge : "Daddy and Me"

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    Wedding Planning Blog (Updated 10/18/10)

  • edited December 2011
    Say something funny or use some kinda humor. No guarantees that it'll work!
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  • edited December 2011
    I just say "Yes Dear" alot...... and so does he! Lol!
  • edited December 2011

    FI and I almost never disagree or argue. (one thing I love about him) But the few times we have is because of a misunderstanding. Normally if I say, "Let me make sure I understand you" and I repeat what I think he is trying to get me to understand that diffuses the argument. Most of time people argue when they feel the other person is not understanding their point of view.

    Wedding date July 7, 2012
  • edited December 2011
    I say "let's deal with this when we're both not as emotional"  and I walk away.
    Granted, sometimes, I still want to cuss him out but I know that words cannot be taken back once said so it is better to not say it at all if it'll hurt my loved on.
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  • cincy2011cincy2011 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    - Keep your voice calm, once someone starts raising their voice everything escalates
    - I totally agree with the PP, repeat back what each other is saying to make sure everyone understands
    - Try not to say "you", say "I" (as in "I feel hurt" instead of "You always disrespect me")
    - Don't say "never" or "always" b/c those statements are usually false
    - Think about what your FI has going on (other than this issue) in his life - this helps you remain objective and not attack when they act a fool - LOL
    - Consider if you have something else going on and try to adjust your attitude if you're really upset aboug something else (work, family, etc.)
    - Collect your thoughts before you speak, don't just blurt out all of your thoughts b/c you will probably be overly emotional
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  • edited December 2011

    yes Honey I understand!! i have a short temper ( kinda) so I have to do alot of praying. lol i walk away and woosah....

  • edited December 2011
    Someone has to walk away and cool off. We have a deal that if one of says I need a minute and walks (or drives lol) away, the other won't follow and keep going with the blah, blah, blah. Allow the situation to cool off, then come back and TALK about it! Shoot I am a pro at the silent treatment lmao, and that ticks FI off to no end, so I had to come up with a diff plan LOL!
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