Wedding Traditions?

Carla1019

I just found out that in my FI culture it is a tradition for the bride to kneel when they are feeding each other the wedding cake. My FI told me that I don't have to do it if I feel uncomfortable but it would really show respect to his family.

Anyone that knows me knows I don't do anything to make other people happy but I also don't want to break a long standing tradition.

I'm on the fence as to what I will do. What would you do? I'm leaning toward giving him a slight bow out of respect but not kneel. I don't know...

kiyamurph

Hmmm, the feminist in me wouldn't want to kneel either!  It's honestly going to come down to what you feel comfortable doing.  I know this is a tradition, but I'm sure this tradition started way back when women were second class citizens and didn't really have a voice.  I think a bow like you said should be okay, but then again I don't know anything about the tradtions in his culture.  Out of curiosity, what is his culture?

KYPHILLY

I saw a wedding photos from Haltroops gorgeus weddings with this. I ask one of my friends about this and he confirmed it was a custom.

kittybutton

I would just do it. It would make him and his family happy and it's only for maybe two-three min right? I did see this once on TV. It's one minor thing. Choose your battles, it shouldn't be that bad. Good luck mama!

Ky925

I would do it, if it's customary and will please him and his family.

chescam

It depends. If you're incorporating his culture throughout most of the wedding I don't see a problem kneeling when feeding him the cake. If you're not incorpoating too much of his culture, then it wouldn't make much sense to do this. Are his parents going to be involved in the wedding? I would ask them about the importance of this custom and I guess this should clarify if it's something you really want to do.

M1ssJ

Agree with chescam, and if FI is one way or the other about it I would go with what YOU feel comfortable with, you dont want to look back at your photos and video and be like "why did i do that"

hatroopes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_wedding-traditions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:fdc34d8a-f3cb-4f0c-91ed-b0981be98572Post:f1d9d21e-1dfc-4f1a-bbf0-20edd0e5624b">Wedding Traditions?</a>:
[QUOTE]I just found out that in my FI culture it is a tradition for the bride to kneel when they are feeding each other the wedding cake. My FI told me that I don't have to do it if I feel uncomfortable but it would really show respect to his family. Anyone that knows me knows I don't do anything to make other people happy but I also don't want to break a long standing tradition. I'm on the fence as to what I will do. What would you do? I'm leaning toward giving him a slight bow out of respect but not kneel. I don't know...
Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

<div>Girl, I make a bet with myself everytime I go to a Nigerian/African wedding whether the bride will kneel to feed her husband the wedding cake or not. I say do what makes you comfortable. I won't be doing it - my FI knows that's not me at all and his family is not like that. </div>

MrsAllenToBe1123

Do what makes you feel comfortable. If you decide to compromise I say have fun with it

pinkcottoncandy7

I say that if it makes you feel really uncomfortable dont do it. BUT, I would also really ask myself why does it make you feel uncomfortable. Does it mean that you are honoring him or being subserviant? Its tricky inside my american brain but it might not have the conotation that we see.