Update - it's official!

HisBelovedOne

I'm moving in with FI on August 1. I spent a few hours over there today organizing and condensing his things so we can fit my and Kidlet's things too. Still a lot of work to do, though. I plan to make lists over the next couple days and then start with the organizing and packing.

His little brother won't be staying with us. FI and his parents talked last night and everyone agreed that the boy would more than likely be more trouble than we need, so he'll be moving up with the parents. I think they're taking the dog too, because his dad wants to take her with.

We are not going to get married right away- it seems we have a lot more talking to do first. He told me yesterday that he wanted a big production of a wedding. Big productions make me panicky, and I *REALLY* want to keep it simple. I'd just as soon elope and say screw the whole wedding thing rather than deal with a big to-do of a wedding. So we've got some discussing to do. *sigh* Oh, well. One thing at a time for now, I suppose.

mrs.khan

That's cool. Best of luck.

raangoli

Yay! Congrats!

I have to say though, that I am confused. Your FI wants to make a big production of the wedding or is that your FFIL? I thought you and FI had agreed on the original plan of keeping things simple?

HisBelovedOne

That's what I had thought, too.  But I'm pretty sure now that he wasnever really happy about that arrangement; he's far more outgoing than I am. He's been hinting here and there about wanting things a little bigger, a little grander. When I finally told him yesterday that we couldn't afford all these things he was suggesting, he said his family would pay for it. I said that they would want a big production, and he told me that he kinda wanted the big thing too.

I'm hoping to keep the ceremony intact. I worked really, really hard on writing a ceremony that was non-religious but still covered some cultural things from both sides. I don't want the Baptist wedding that my family wants, nor the Hindu wedding that his family wants. I came up with the ceremony wording mostly on my own with very little input from FI, spent weeks writing and tweaking and making it as inoffensive as possible. I am not prepared to give it up in favor of an elaborate religious ceremony. I don't want to feel like a fraud on my wedding day, y'know? FI and I are agnostic and I think it's dishonest to have a ceremony that reflects a religion we don't follow

kpwedkk

Best wishes Taking it baby steps at a time Have the courage to keep smiling   Everything will work out for you and the one you love

Hinaj

Good Luck with the move!!  I am sure you and your FI will find a nice compromise that both of you will be happy with. 

SonaliPop

I'm excited for you! Good luck!

Bhanu&Anuj

Great news hisbelovedone!

raangoli

I think you can keep the ceremony intact. It's a nice meld of the two cultures, I've heard of other cross-cultural couples who have done that.

I guess he wants a bigger reception, etc? I think you can come to a good compromise on that though!