Indian bride doesn't dance

latika83

So, my mom insists that I wear a saree for the reception. I told her that I wouldn't be comfortable dancing in a sari. She responded by saying that Indian brides don't dance! I was flabbergasted! Why is she living in the 18th century!

raangoli

I have seen people and even some brides in saris get down and dance during wedding receptions, but it's really more about what you're comfortable in more than anything else. Maybe you can wear the sari during your ceremony and go with a lenga for your reception?

PS Your post subject reminded me of the line from "Bend it Like Beckham" where the photographer told the sister on her wedding day "Eyes down, don't smile...Indian bride never smiles, you'll ruin the bloody video!"

vindaloo

Hi Latika,
I rarely wear saris so I understand your frustration!
I'm doing the sari for the ceremony (since most of it is sitting down)  and a lehnga for the reception so I can dance.  It's a good compromise since I'll be wearing the sari for the part that really "matters". 
But I see that you say your mom wants you to wear the sari to the reception...I've heard of people getting saris "pre-stitched" where the pleating is stitched down and the sari is attached to the petticoat.  You put the whole shebang on like a skirt, wear a blouse, and I guess you just wrap the pallu end. 
I'm personally just going to have my mom safety-pin me to high heaven...that's what she did last time I wore a sari, and although it still wasn't as comfortable as a dress, it was ok--I knew it wasn't going to fall off!
Good luck!

latika83

Thank you!

But my issue is not the saree. I mean I can handle it. I just don't want to wear a saree.

But my bigger issue is that my mother is telling me that I can't dance at my own wedding.

I am planning the wedding and paying for it single-handedly and I can't even enjoy my day after putting in all that work and effort and spending all that money?

lildevi15

I'm sorry that your mom said that.  My parents have actually said that Indian brides shouldn't dance either.  But they think that if the bride asks her in-laws and they say it's okay, then it is okay for the bride to dance.  But I really don't think they believe it (they see a bride dancing and think "Oh she asked her in-laws" but I think they just say that to make themselves feel better. . .they REALLY think the Indian community hasn't changed since they left India in the 70s).

Anyway, my point is talk to your mom about it, and explain that you would like to celebrate with everyone else.  Also ask if she thinks anyone would be offended by you dancing (I find my parents just want me to ask them about silly things, and they'll be fine).    You may find that she just said that out of stress and just really wants you to wear a sari.  And if that's not the case, ultimately she loves you and wants you to be happy.  So she'll probably come around after a good discussion.

PS. I'm totally dancing at my wedding (my parents and I had this discussion like 5 years ago, b/f I even thought about marrying my FI b/c I was soooo freaked out by their comments).

SonaliPop

I think I wanted to wear a sari during the wedding but not the reception for the sole reason of wanting to be comfortable when moving around! I agree with all of you - Indian brides DANCE - we want to celebrate with our husbands!

Don't worry, my Mom was wondering which Hindi song we'd dance to at the reception - we had American songs we were looking into. I had to tell her that we weren't considering Hindi music as it's not what we listen to most of the time and she said that most Indian women choose Hindi songs! She was being helpful but I'm pretty certain I'd rather dance to a song during our first dance that we love and that is meaningful to us.

So, what are you going to end up wearing?

MeeraRC

You can wear a lehenga but wrap the dupatta like a sari. That way you can still be comfortable but have the same aesthetic as a sari.

And Indian brides do dance. If anything we dance more than Western brides.

Send your mom to this site http://www.twinproduction.com/.

Tons of videos of Indian brides dancing.