Diamond / Gold sets from parents

SonaliPop

I know it's a custom for Guju brides' parents to give them at least one expensive jewelry set. I wanted to know if your parents bought one or if you find the custom dated. I know so many families who gaive their daughters 8,000+ dollar sets and I do not think that is practical. I think if they're going to give me anything, one medium set I can wear with multiple things should work out just fine. I do not think that it is practical in today's age to give people multi-thousand dollar sets. I know it's custom but I think there is a middle ground. For all of you guju brides, did your parents follow through with the custom and if you don't mind, do you mind saying how much they may have spent roughly? I don't think I am the type of girl who thinks a 13 thousand dollar white gold and diamond set with pearls and all that is necessary! I'm not JLo!

rsmehta

Good question.  I totally agree with you that those sets are super expensive for maybe a few good uses out of them.  My mom really wanted to buy me a "real" set but I refused.  I just felt bad because my parents were already spending so much money on the wedding that it didn't seem right to make them buy me a set that I would hardly wear.  I think they are going to end up giving me a small diamond set for everyday use since it's more practical.  It's just hard for me to imagine owning a set that expensive that I would never wear.  My sister-in-law, however was the opposite.  Her parents bought her 5 gold sets and she considers them an investment and memory.  I suppose it all depends on the person

SonaliPop

One of the main reasons that people gave gold sets to a bride is so that if times got tough, and the value for gold was high, she could do with it what she wanted, like liquidate. It's basically a nice gift with future planning. The way people of their generation and before thought money is a nice gift but it's gone once you spend it, and gold's value goes up quite a fair bit and if you buy a good set it's something that can be useful for your future. I understand and respect that, but I do not think it's practical to have something too big to begin with - it sits in the bank!

raangoli

Good question, esp. with gold hitting a high last week of 1400+ per ounce!

My parents had been planning for my wedding day for years before I was even old enough to be married and so they bought smaller sets when I was younger. (Credit to mom and dad for thinking ahead, even if it did seem strange at the time.) One I actually was able to have input into the design, which props to younger me, I still like and is what I wore on our wedding day. (I actually only wore the necklace and bangles mixed in with others,  the rest of my jewelry was costume.)

We discussed the idea of buying something more, but it's outrageously expensive and I don't wear gold at all, except for the special occasion, so we nixed the idea and we went with what my parents already had for me.

SonaliPop

My parents also bought some for different occasions, maybe one yellow gold and one white gold. I'm not a yellow gold kind of girl unless I need it for a sari.

britishmi

Im not Guju, but my parents bought me a gold set even though i didn't want one and like you said  its an investment. They said keep it in the bank locker if you dont want to wear it. My mom also bought me gold bangles as her mother (my grandmother) bought her some when she got married. I prefered the gold bangles over the gold sets

andamu

I'm marrying a Guju, and since there are no girls in his family, his parents are giving me gold.  I think they have been saving for this occasion for a long time - they've given me a chain and a bracelet for our engagement, and now a set (bangle, necklace, earrings) and a mangalsutra for the wedding.

The set I got is not extremely expensive but also not the most basic thing they had.  It's wearable for dressier Indian occasions, but I also tried to pick pieces that could be worn with Western clothing and would be conversation pieces worn that way (for example, my peacock bangle).

It took me some adjusting, honestly.  I try to think of it as them buying it as an investment for FI and I - just one that happens to be pretty and fun to wear. 

MrsBM

I got sets from my parents, my in laws and the extended family on my in laws side (part of their punjabi tradition)

Yes the sets were expensive...esp the only my parents got me.

I know my in laws got all my gold sets in dubai two summers ago...the price there is/was more reasonable I heard..

MrsBM

Additionally about it being expensive...Even if I told my parents not to give me anything (b/c I didn't think it was a good use of money) they would ...and sometimes those 'discussions' would get so heated they'd become fights...so I stopped stopping them from doing what they wanted to do as parents of the bride.

SonaliPop

Yeah, I mean, at some degree I want my parents to do what they want to do for their only daughter. At the next level, I want my parents to know that I don't need anything over the top. The intentions are good but you're right, Bhanu, sometimes, we have to let our parents do what they want to do.

DFWIndian

Yea I told my mom I didn't want to much either. We did buy something when we went to India. It was that "You have to have it" mentality, but honestly it was embarassing to her when she would tell people we didn't buy too much gold. It's a pride issue! She would say I don't wear it often, which I only wear my same gold chain, earrings, and ring everyday. Then mention how my older sister never wears her gold and it stays locked up.
You guys will see though I have a ton of gold (gifts from others) so at the reception I think I'll look like Mr. T!!! lol

raangoli

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_diamond-gold-sets-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:24017b3b-e027-464a-a9b0-f446de919de8Post:2ab508a9-6a5b-45d2-aa4c-b1a284b0826b">Re: Diamond / Gold sets from parents</a>:
[QUOTE]Yea I told my mom I didn't want to much either. We did buy something when we went to India. It was that "You have to have it" mentality, but honestly it was embarassing to her when she would tell people we didn't buy too much gold. It's a pride issue! She would say I don't wear it often, which I only wear my same gold chain, earrings, and ring everyday. Then mention how my older sister never wears her gold and it stays locked up. You guys will see though I have a ton of gold (gifts from others) so at the reception<strong> I think I'll look like Mr. T!!!</strong> lol
Posted by DFWIndian[/QUOTE]

I was so afraid of that, I put my foot down. I didn't want to look back at my pictures and see that, haha!

DFWIndian

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_diamond-gold-sets-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:430Discussion:24017b3b-e027-464a-a9b0-f446de919de8Post:055e4977-9b56-42fe-a1c9-c54e0b443396">Re: Diamond / Gold sets from parents</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Diamond / Gold sets from parents : I was so afraid of that, I put my foot down. I didn't want to look back at my pictures and see that, haha!
Posted by raangoli[/QUOTE]

I don't want it either, but it's a pride issue for them so I caved! I hope to keep it as low key as I can, but I have a feeling I'm fighting a losing battle. This was one of those battles I just gave up on.