CNN Intercultural Wedding Article

raangoli

This week CNN has had a few articles about dating and marriage for interracial/intercultural couples.

My cousin sent me this one which was more geared towards weddings:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/07/07/wedding.different.cultures/index.html

And here is one that was geared towards dating and it's challenges:

http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/07/05/farr.mixed.race.couples/index.html

temurlang

I've read another article by the American woman who is married to a Korean.  It was sort of a prequel about him telling his parents about her.

In this area interracial/intercultural relationships are so common, but still a lot of people don't accept them.  And there are definitely some challenges that come along with them lol!

I'm always surprised at how many people assume MH is my boss because that's the most likely relationship they can think of for us!  Also how people stare if I'm with MIL.  I find that really weird because is there any reason I couldn't go somewhere with any older lady (neighbor, friend's mom, etc.)?  And it comes from both sides because we get equal stares in Bloomingdales or at Durga Pooja.

Although this area is pretty diverse and there are a lot of mixed couples, there aren't that many Desi/white couples.  I think that has something to do with the fact that most Indians here came quite recently (DH was the first of his friends to come in the 90's, and almost all of those friends had arranged marriages).

DH has 2 co-workers who are married to white women and in both cases it seems like the wife has changed her culture completely (follows Hinduism, wears a sari or silwar all the time, both are strictly veg, , etc.).

raangoli

Was the other article in the NY Times? I read that one, too which was interesting as well. To me, I found it more interesting that he had the same sort of resolve as I did at first, knowing that my parents would be against the idea, but I knew that it was what I wanted. It was a long emotional road though.

I kind of feel the same as you do, Tem. We live in an area where there is a really high Indian immigrant population and it's not so common, but interracial/cultural relationships aren't unheard of thought.  I still feel like we sometimes get stares or that the auntys are judging us. We ourselves get excited to see others who are in similiar relationships.

That is kind of funny though that they tend to think your husband is your boss! I would never think that, but maybe because I know that "these" types of relationships are possible.

I have to say though that I am really surprised to hear of the white/American women who have really taken on the traditional bahu role and completely changed her culture. I would imagine that they are OK with it, but I wonder if they or their families wouldn't resent that just the slightest bit? I think one of the most "fun" parts of being in a cross cultural relationship is sharing the differences and creating your own traditions.

temurlang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_cnn-intercultural-wedding-article?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:28531218-1218-42fb-8993-e1f81035d9d0Post:41bb6ed6-7faf-40b7-b165-48ea4660949f">Re: CNN Intercultural Wedding Article</a>:
[QUOTE]I have to say though that I am really surprised to hear of the white/American women who have really taken on the traditional bahu role and completely changed her culture. I would imagine that they are OK with it, but I wonder if they or their families wouldn't resent that just the slightest bit? I think one of the most "fun" parts of being in a cross cultural relationship is sharing the differences and creating your own traditions.
Posted by raangoli[/QUOTE]

I think that article was in the NYT.  I found it interesting how all different families seemed to have some group(s) that they objected to.  My family had a bunch, but Indian wasn't on the list!  Most people in this area are too polite and proper to ever comment, but some of my relatives are certain it's what they call a green card/credit card marriage.  And my dad did ask me if DH is legal (?!?).

I totally agree that while a cross-cultural relationship has many complications, the differences are what make for a rich life experience.  I don't know if those women have just gone overboard because they like the culture or if they feel pressure from their Hs or ILs.  I would feel like I and my culture were being discounted if the relationship were that one-way.  They are also cutting themselves off to some extent because they stay at home and they are not really going to fit in with most people, either Americans or Indians.  And I do really wonder what their families think!