Random Newlywed Type Question - Family Related

raangoli

What do you call your new in laws? I still call her "Mrs. D" when it comes time to having to call her by name.

My mom thought this wasn't "right" and said I should call her mom. That will take some adjusting. And really, I feel weird because she hasn't really invited me to do so. I know it's weird, but maybe it's a cultural thing. I am sure she doesn't even realize that she would need to even say anything at all with regard to what I should call her.

Am I the only one who is still trying to figure this out?

HisBelovedOne

When we first got engaged, I outright asked his mother what I was supposed to call them. She told me, "Mr. and Mrs. M is fine."

Granted, I'm pretty sure she was still incresibly peeved that her eldest would have the gall to go and get engaged to an older white girl with a kid, nevermind that we'd been together over a year at that point.

Not sure whether that answer's changed. I figure I'll ask them again later.

My mom always called my dad's parents "Mom and Dad;" not sure what she'll call them now that my parents are getting a divorce. My dad always called my mom's parents by their first names.

ssarangi

My mom told me the same thing, that after the wedding, the "right" thing to do would be to call her mom.  I agree with you though, I'm not that sure it will feel appropriate/comfortable yet to call my MIL 'mom'..we'll just have to see...I know that that's the respectful thing to do...

In regards to your MIL inviting you to call you mom, I don't think that's necessary or required...I think that's just part of getting married...I wouldn't necessarily feel offended that she hasn't told you to call her mom yet...

temurlang

When I first met my ILs (before marriage), I called them Auntie and Uncle.  They didn't seem to like it, but DH and I both felt it was the most appropriate thing and I stuck with it.  DH said after marriage I could still call them Auntie and Uncle if I would be more comfortable.  It was clear that they didn't like that, so I just switched one day to Ma and Baba, and they got really happy, especially in front of other people.  DH was surprised, but I don't really mind since I never called my own parents that.

I told DH to call my parents Auntie and Uncle, too, but he is really uncomfortable calling non-Desi people that.  I pointed out that Dad or Dr. M would be pretty weird, and we have a number of non-relatives we have always called Auntie and Uncle who are from various ethnicities.  DH now avoids having to address my dad altogether, which usually works out since my dad doesn't like to talk.

There has never really been a moment when the parents told any of us anything... however, if you would like to call your MIL mom or auntie, I don't think she would mind you asking.  Or ask your H.

DFWIndian

Before the wedding I called them Auntie and Uncle which is normal cause honestly who do we not call Auntie and Uncle? Now after the wedding I'm calling them Mom and Dad. My parents are Mommy and Daddy (yes I know a little childish, but that's their names..lol) so there is a distinction between the two parents.

I would say ask them!

Kombo

I made the mistake of calling my FFIL Mr. D*** and I received the backlash from it.  My FI said that it was disrespectful and I should say Mom & dad.  I told him that it would take time for me to adjust (especially since the are not the warm welcoming type).  He doesn't undertsand why I'm having an issue with this.   I will slip it in here and there when I get the courage to say it but I think I will take time.  They didn't like the idea of Auntiei or uncle.  Thought it was odd, since he calls my dad sir!

raangoli

I did talk to MH about it and he said that he thinks his brother in law called his mom Mrs. D up until recently and might still even though his sister has been married for 14 years, hah!

I call my own parents mom/dad, mommy/daddy, or I think I have recently taken to cally my mom "mumma" .. who knows. I used to do that a lot, I would call her fun names I could come up with while growing up. I didn't really do that with my dad, he wouldn't really take too kindly to that. Now I am wondering why my parents never had us use the more traditional Gujarati terms for mom/dad...but that's another story.

I guess I could ask her, but she will probably think it's strange and just tell me to call her what ever I am comfortable with. I was thinking maybe something like "mom D" to help with the transition

Priya490

I call them Uncle and Aunty for now. Not sure what I should be calling them when we are married though haha!

bridetobeee

I always called them Aunty and Uncle but they insisted on me calling them Mom and Dad even before the wedding. And, if I ever slipped and called them Aunty, they would get upset!

So, I call them Ma and Dad. Versus my parents (Mommy and Daddy). And, I feel you on getting adjusted. I really am still not comfortable with it because from the area in India I am from, we usually don't call our in-laws mom and dad. But, hey, I do whatever is necessary to please my in-laws to a) decrease unecessary fighting between my hubby and I and b) so my in-laws can be happy and not complain which makes my life easier and happier : ) So Ma and Dad it is!! : )

SonaliPop

I may call them Mum and Papa - NO one else is being called Mom/MommyDad/Daddy!

andamu

I LOVE that so many of us called our ILs "Aunty" and "Uncle" before we got married - me too.

Once we got engaged, I started calling them Mummy and Papa (I call my own parents Mom and Dad).   I didn't want to call them the same thing I call my parents, first names don't fly, and Mr. and Mrs. S was too formal after a while.

H calls my parents by their first names and always has.

raangoli

I don't think I can go the first name route, it seems awkward for me. I think it will take a while to figure it out...

@Andamu - Congrats on the big day! You have to tell us how everything went and we want pictures, too!

jsleik

I'm already calling them Ma and Baba.  Since my parents are Mom and Dad to me, that doesn't seem strange.  But my FI calls my parents by their first names, which is what my brothers-in-law do as well.  For me, it is such a small thing that makes them so happy, it wasn't a tough call.  But then again, I love that all my friends kids call me Mashi/Kakima/Auntie, so I'm easily pleased!  :-)