South Asian Weddings

I want to wear sari, but FI wants tux

Anyone else going through this problem?  Solution?

We are both Indian.  I want it to look like we are at the same wedding.  I'd like for both of us to wear Indian or both to wear Western, but not mismatched.  I don't have $$ to get another outfit for reception, so we are sticking to one outfit all night.

Re: I want to wear sari, but FI wants tux

  • temurlangtemurlang member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I know it may not fit your image of your wedding, but I don't think it looks that odd if the girl is traditional and the guy is in western clothes.  The other way around would seem strange.  It's funny because DH hates wearing a suit and sometimes when we're dressing up I want him to so I can wear a dress LOL!

    You should absolutely wear a sari!  I can't imagine why any SA bride wouldn't want to wear a sari or lengha... if my parents woudn't have minded I would have worn it for our Christian ceremony too!

    Are all the parents okay with him wearing a tux?  DH wore a Jodhpuri for our Hindu wedding.  Would that be a possibilty?  It is more like a suit, but still traditional, so maybe your FI would compromise?
  • Rainbow17Rainbow17 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The thing is, he doesn't like the way mens Indian clothes look.  He thinks the womens clothes are beautiful, but for men, he's just not into it.  I'd really like for the wedding to be uniform.  I'd want everyone in our immediate families to be wearing Indian clothes.
  • bridetobeeebridetobeee member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You should show him a couple of pictures of the new indian jodhpuri suits. They have an indian look but they are still suits. Or, they have the same Jodhpuri suits that are longer, right above the knees so it looks a little more indian.

    But, I think it won't look bad if you wear indian and he wears western. Traditionally, men used to wear indian for the wedding and a suit for the reception. But, it is your wedding day and you and your fiance should do what both of you agree upon. Good luck!
  • HinajHinaj member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Agree with PP, some of the new sherwani are designed to look just like suits.  But I think it will look just fine if he is wearing western and your are wearing a sari. 
  • edited December 2011
    You have to open him up to wearing a nice Indian clothes.

    +1 on the jodhpuri suits, I have seen a few groom go that route and it's a great look.
    Abhi
  • edited December 2011
    We were going to do the sari with the tux thing too... Honestly it doesn't look wierd because even people in India now just wear tux/suits.
    I'm wearing a traditional dress for the ceremony and changing into my madragodi sari for the reception. At first he wasn't going to change and that was fine, but since I went to India and got a Sherwani is ok with wearing it. Maybe you can see if he can try it on or show him the different styles.
  • temurlangtemurlang member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_want-wear-sari-but-fi-wants-tux?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:6971e05f-bb78-4783-8636-1c4e9eff7b2aPost:b1640625-62a5-4a30-9c42-3adfb130e0d3">Re: I want to wear sari, but FI wants tux</a>:
    [QUOTE]The thing is, he doesn't like the way mens Indian clothes look.  He thinks the womens clothes are beautiful, but for men, he's just not into it. <font color="#000080"> I'd really like for the wedding to be uniform.  I'd want everyone in our immediate families to be wearing Indian clothes.</font>
    Posted by Ninac4116[/QUOTE]

    Just be prepared that this may not happen.  Humans are unpredictable things and while your family and FILs may want to do that, either for themselves or to please you, there is no way you can enforce it.

    At our US wedding, my dad didn't wear the tie we got him for the wedding, my MOH didn't wear the color dress she was supposed to, and the boutonnieres were not what I ordered.

    At two of our Indian receptions I had to wear saris picked by my MIL, MIL wore a WHITE sari to one reception (DH is still mad about that one), and FIL not only refused to wear Indian clothes to the main reception, but he also refused to wear a pagri!

    What I'm saying is, your dad may show up the day of the wedding wearing something different from what you discussed.  Don't let that be a problem (no one else knows remember).  Our guests all enjoyed all the events and our photos (what I've seen) look great.

    DH was unable to find a sherwani he liked because he's a very non-bling guy, which I'm guessing is your FI's issue with Indian clothes also.  Not the best pic, but DH's Jodhpuri:


    <a href="#" title="Click to view a larger photo" onclick="return gSiteLife.LoadForumPage('ForumImage', 'plckPhotoId', '279b2889-0e90-4bb5-9ebb-7db220c99d56', 'plckRedirectUrl', gSiteLife.EscapeValue(window.location.href));"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/7/14/279b2889-0e90-4bb5-9ebb-7db220c99d56.medium.jpg" alt="" /></a>
  • edited December 2011

    I know its tough and you envisioned your wedding to be a certain way, but it's also your FI's wedding, too. If he will be happiest wearing a tux then maybe you can find a way to incorporate a little Indian flair into it. Maybe get him a stole that he can wear during the ceremony?

    Something like the groom had his groomsmen wear at this wedding:

    link

    I like the jodhpuri that Temurlang posted, that's a great compromise, too! She had some great points that no one will know what people were supposed to wear or do, just you will. Before our wedding,  I really did not like the kurta top that my dad picked to wear to our wedding. He had it made 5 years before I got married with the intention of wearing at my wedding, but I let it slide since it was what he wanted. Was it my style? No, but it made him happy and our pictures look just fine with him wearing it. It wasn't so bad afterall.

    As long as everyone comes dressed and looking respectable, that's really what matters.

    ETA: What about something like this? Imran Khan looks mighty handsome to me!
    http://indianweddingsite.com/blog/2011/01/bollywood-celebrity-wedding-imran-khan-and-avantika-2/
    ExerciseMilestone
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