South Asian Weddings

Changing, Abbreviating or Keeping

...your last name????

- Are you gonna do it right away?
- Are you going to wait until you have kids?

What's FI's opinion about it.

FI wants me to change it, and initially I didn't want to but I will do it....eventually hahahah

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Re: Changing, Abbreviating or Keeping

  • HinajHinaj member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am taking his last name right away after the wedding.  FI wants me to change it. 
  • edited December 2011

    I'm taking his name. I don't know how soon after the wedding, but it'll happen. Since i don't have a middle name I'm just putting my last name as my middle name and his last name as my last.. So I have initials DTM... I don't like the hypens.

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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_changing-abbreviating-keeping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:7d8ef0d2-e9d2-4619-9fa5-c54559e6bb9cPost:8182759a-8115-48fb-a060-e03332d88341">Changing, Abbreviating or Keeping</a>:
    [QUOTE]...<strong>your last name???? - Are you gonna do it right away? - Are you going to wait until you have kids? What's FI's opinion about it</strong>. FI wants me to change it, and initially I didn't want to but I will do it....eventually hahahah
    Posted by Bhanu&Anuj[/QUOTE]

    I will be keeping my last name and I'll be taking his too. my last name and his last name will have a hyphen in between because i have a middle name. it's going to be one looong name! I'll be doing it the week after our US wedding.
  • kavita85kavita85 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am leaning towards changing it, since I always thought I would to be traditional, but it's going to sound pretty weird to have an Indian first name and Jewish last name. I always imagine the scenario in which a new patient is expecting a white doctor due to my last name and in walks me, an Indian doctor, instead! Haha...not a big deal, but I find it funny.
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  • edited December 2011
    Kavitha... Dont' worry about that.. I have a Christian last name and so does he. So people think I'm some kind of a white girl with parents that gave me a unique first name and my boyfriend is just plain White!!! It's quite funny to see the expression on people's faces. I get a lot of questions about it since I'm not married with that last name. ie. Did your family change thier name when they came to the US?? NO, St. Thomas came to Indian in 53 AD and converted some Indians that's us!! Learn some history people.. Sorry I vented a little.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_changing-abbreviating-keeping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:7d8ef0d2-e9d2-4619-9fa5-c54559e6bb9cPost:047861dc-66a6-4022-90ec-0baebab8a99f">Re: Changing, Abbreviating or Keeping</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am leaning towards changing it, since I always thought I would to be traditional, but it's going to sound pretty weird to have an Indian first name and Jewish last name. <strong>I always imagine the scenario in which a new patient is expecting a white doctor due to my last name and in walks me, an Indian doctor, instead! Haha...not a big deal, but I find it funny.</strong>
    Posted by kavita85[/QUOTE]

    hahah, I dont know what to expect when I become a doctor. Stephanie Coorey? Does that sound S.Asian to you? haha
  • edited December 2011

    FI wants me to change the last name, I could go either way..I dont like the sound of his last name teehee (its Gossain), I like my last name so much (its Saini), I dont have a middle same so I will be using my last name as my middle name....also because my last name is common and its hard for indian ppl to tell which part of India I am from, I like that so they cant make a judge me right away and being desi I know we tend to judge..but I had a big convo with my coworker about this, I am going to make sure I raise a judgement free selfless and humble family..I hate the way our ppl (indians/desis) act..sorry if I offend anyone but I think if us desis can become more selfless and caring individuals then ppl would be more receptive of us. I digress I know..lol
  • edited December 2011
    I'm taking his, right away, and as soon as we can afford it, he's going to legally adopt my son and we'll change his name too. Hyphenating won't work for us - we'd be talking 17 letters and 6 syllables between us and I wouldn't want to inflict our poor kids with that when they're learning to spell their names!

    He actually told me that he didn't expect me to change it because his last name is so "weird and compicated" (his words). I told him that his name is one letter and two syllables longer, and easier to pronounce because it's phonetically spelled. Mine is German and gets mispronounced and misspelled ALL the time. I'd rather take his name because it's spoken the way it's spelled!
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  • edited December 2011
    At first, I always said that I would keep my last name. I have a bit of OCD and my first name is 6 letters and so is my last name. I like that its even. Hah!

    Although some people already think I am Italian based on just seeing my last name, which is also funny. My favorite is when I speak to people on the phone for the first time and then I give them my name, all foreign sounding. There is a slight pause from the person on the other end like "crap..how do I spell that?" and because well, I am sure they weren't expecting that due to the lack of a "foreign" accent.

    Long story short, I think I will keep my maiden name for professional purposes, but I will be changing my name for all other purposes.

    And Nicky, I totally agree with you on the prejuding people because their desi last name will tell you where in India they are from. Although people think I am Sindhi but my family is actually Gujarati, so that always throws them for a loop, too :)
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  • edited December 2011
    I never experience that with my last name and a lot of Indians I know here don't really ...do that to eachother. Of course, there are really crappy people among every cultural group. I'm just grateful my last name is hard to associate with any specific part of India, also. I get lots of weird questions sometimes. But I'm a proud Gujarati...and so is he, even though he's got a reallllllllllly Guju last name.

    As for changing it, I really don't know if I want to. I know, I know...it's tradition and cultural and the 'way it's done'. Maybe I'll hyphen, but I'm not sure. He doesn't force me into any decisions and I know he'd really love it if I did take his name. I could just take his last name and always sign my name as My First Name My Maiden Name (as a middle name) My Married Last Name.

    We also discussed giving the children (future kids) my last name as their middle name! Which, I love :)
  • mkjasanimkjasani member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am keeping my last name - FI doesn't really care FI change my name and understands why I want to keep it.  (his mother of course does care but she doesn't really get a say).  When/If we have kids they will have his last name and my last name will be their middle name. 
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  • edited December 2011
    I like the idea of the kids having my maiden name as their middle name! We talked about that...and they get Indian first names. Wait, really, just the kid. We decided on just one. Haha!
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  • edited December 2011
    Raangoli and Sonalipop- I totally discussed giving my last name as middle name for the kids and he agreed!! :) After I told him I have a name for my daughter -- doesnt Serena Saini Gossain sound just fab!! :) teehee
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_changing-abbreviating-keeping?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:7d8ef0d2-e9d2-4619-9fa5-c54559e6bb9cPost:fa155154-d795-4402-b0a7-1b02156f7d30">Re: Changing, Abbreviating or Keeping</a>:
    [QUOTE]Raangoli and Sonalipop- I totally discussed giving my last name as middle name for the kids and he agreed!! :) After I told him I have a name for my daughter -- doesnt Serena Saini Gossain sound just fab!! :) teehee
    Posted by jnsaini[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I do like that name! <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" /></div><div>
    </div><div>I will be taking his last name.  I have a really christian first & middle name, and the "Khan" at the end will be interesting. </div><div>
    </div>
  • edited December 2011

    :) Glad you like it Mrs. Khan...Mrs. Khan are you bangladeshi? I have a bangla friend her first name is really christian too! its lisa..she got married last yr and did take her husbands last name.

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