Wedding locale drama

SonaliPop

Since we're both in two different countries with family and friends who may not / most probably not all be able to travel back and forth for our ceremonies, we are in a bit of a pickle.

I want us each to be able to have people we love at our weddings. If we have the wedding here, we want the reception there so that his family and friends can also make it. The majority of my family (and his) is in the UK, anyway. We are avoiding having the wedding in the UK because of all sorts of issues. We want to keep the wedding small and if it's there, we will surely have all those guests who are distant relatives that we wouldn't normally have if it was in the States.

BF wants to keep both wedding / reception on the same day in one place becuase he is worried about the long distance planning, but I want to keep it fair and make sure that neither of us is alone on our wedding day.

Maybe we could do the engagement and the reception in the UK and the wedding in the US? Does anyone have a better or different idea?

I don't want to miss out on sharing my big day with my family friends and my friends here and family here and I don't want him to be celebrating the wedding without his family and his boys because they can't afford to travel. I'm just looking for a compromise. My Mom has said she understands and would definitely have one big event or two there so that his family and friends can also be a part of it.

SonaliPop

And to add, I would reallly appreciate keeping everything in one place, both the wedding and reception, but I'm finding it hard to do that knowing he'd be without the people he loves most in the world.

Hinaj

Sonali, do you mind me asking, why you are not having the whole thing in the UK?  What are the issues?

SonaliPop

1. Cost.
2. My Mom always wanted me to get married here, and I don't blame her.
3. We have an awful relationship with my Dad's side...so much so that I worry that it would be a lot of tears and drama from them.
4. It'd be a lot more people than we'd want. We'd have a lot more guests than we would have if we had it here. We'd really want a small wedding and if it was in England, it'd be hundreds more because of 'family relations' that people want to keep up by coming to the wedding. If it's here, they won't come.
5. It's fair for both of us to have an event in each place.

Lots of reasons.

SonaliPop

And I just don't want it all there. A lot of the people I want here can't come and we simply can't afford all that. It's a lot of expense in pounds that it wouldn't be here in dollars.

Hinaj

I think you have it, have the ceremony in the States and maybe throw a small reception for your guests in the states and you can have the reception in England and maybe you can play the ceremony video in the beginning.  IDK....this is going to require more thinking.    

kpwedkk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_wedding-locale-drama?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:7e273a85-e6c2-479e-9112-b0b32a11f52fPost:95af9a33-50b0-467a-b010-8cab9d4c4074">Re: Wedding locale drama</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you have it, have the ceremony in the States and maybe throw a small reception for your guests in the states and you can have the reception in England and maybe you can play the ceremony video in the beginning.  IDK....this is going to require more thinking.  :)   
Posted by Hinaj[/QUOTE]

I agree, have a wedding in the states, and get it video'd.  And have a reception in each place.

Instead of having your UK friends and family watch the wedding in it's entirety, consider sending them dvds, or post it to a secure web place like vimeo.com or somewhere so that they can watch your wedding, real-time or almost real-time.

Have a reception in the UK shortly-there-after :)

Even though we got married a year ago in the states and had a reception already, we couldn't afford to take more time off to go to India to hold a reception there, until the end of this year.  But, we still are, more of a reunion to get to meet everyone again, or new :)