Taboos: Kissing at the wedding

SonaliPop

This is a hot topic between bf and I. I do not expect the man to give me any passionate kisses during the wedding or at the reception. All I want is a peck on the cheek or forehead here or there, but that kind of makes him uncomfortable. To be honest? The man has kissed my forehead before when I was crying in front of my Mom. We've gone on vacation together - frequently. Our parents realize this and have no issue. At that point, we'll be married and everybody knows what happens when the bride and groom head out. I am not saying I want to be distasteful but I am having an issue with no affection whatsoever. Did you guys kiss at your wedding or reception? When we have our own photos, we'll be sure to have romantic pictures with lots of affection.

I think what bothers me is the fact that tradition and cultural propriety are taking over the day when I'd like there to be a bit more romance and love to it. I do not want him to do anything that makes him feel iffy but to any relative that has an issue, it's ridiculous.

Does anyone have this issue?

rsmehta

Haha it's funny that you bring up this point because I have the exact OPPOSITE situation.  FI is very very affectionate (more than my parents are used to) and I am worried about him smothering me with too many kisses on the wedding day in front of my family.  It stems from the way he grew up.  His mom and dad are very affectionate with each other so I guess that's what he has learned.  He has no problem kissing me in front of his parents (like full on, on the lips).  When we first visited my parents, I told him to tone it down, which he respectfully did.  But I'm worried that at the wedding, after a few drinks and in the midst of celebration, he will forget about modesty and bring out the full on smooching! I think once you're man and wife it's not as much of a big deal as long as you keep it classy.  I just hope he doesn't try to smooch too much or the aunties will have a heart attack! 

DFWIndian

I have the opposite issue too. We don't have that line at the end of most Catholic wedding, "Now, you may kiss the bride." It just doesn't happen at our weddings. FI's family is very western and my family is NOT at all. They are super, uber traditional so even holding hand and dancing together is acceptable but you have to be careful about how close you get. I understand how your boyfriend can feel. Some of our families are still old fashioned and the gossip which comes from doing those things aren't worth it.

Hinaj

Sonali, you and I share the same delimma.  I just want like a kiss on the cheek, nothing over the top PDA.  But FI is so very uncomfortable with that since our parents are present and Indian guests.  FI and I are trying to work out a compromise on that. 

raangoli

We both thought it was going to be awkward to kiss in front of people, and of course there was no kissing at the end of the ceremony, even though we also did the ring exchange.

We did kiss though after we cut the cake, it felt natural and so we went for it. Nothing crazy or over the top, but a short kiss. At that point we were married, it's not news that we would be affectionate to one another. I think maybe we also kissed at the end of our first dance, but I honestly don't remember.

If it feels natural, I say go for it. I am sure you're not going in for an all out makeout session, which I think would be more alarming then a short kiss to show your affection and happiness.

That said, I doubt we would kiss each other in front of our familes now...for some reason it felt OK at the wedding, but now I wouldn't dream of it

temurlang

This was a huge problem!  Even though I'm American, my mom was very, very conservative and actually asked the priest to leave out the kiss at the end of the ceremony!  He left it in.  HA!

My ILs also wouldn't be okay with us kissing in front of them, so we're used to keeping a little distance in front of the families.  We did kiss a couple of times at the reception, but it was always really quick and discreet.  You really just have to see what's comfortable at the moment and then not draw a lot of attention to it.

MrsBM

We kissed after the ceremony and we kissed when the guests 'clinked' their glasses with a fork.  Yes there were some conservative ppl from my Hubby's side but I honestly didnt't care.  The main people I was concerned with were my parents and then his parents (lol) I'm sure his parents may have been a tad offended but its our wedding

reshma82

I feel that most weddings I have been too, at the reception kissing each other on the lips is ok and usually cheered on with glass tapping.  Its not like your kissing all the time.. but here and there a few times throughout may not be a big deal.  If you or ur FI are concern, it should be something you discuss with your parents and they may be able to give you an idea on how they feel and think. I've been to weddings with some people who just came from india and they kissed during the reception.