Hiya!
While I formally introduced myself over the weekend, I figured today would be a good day to share a little more. 
First, I like to use smileys (or is it smilies?) 
When I sign-off email, I use 
)
I also sign letters to patients and outgoing faxes with a smile.
Anyway....
We have known each other since Jun/Jul '01, but didn't upgrade our friendship until Jan '08 (although some would say we had an "unofficial" upgrade before that time). We've been living together since Sept '08 (much to his dad's dismay).
We are newly engaged, but have not made a formal announcement. My mom, sister, a few friends, a co-worker, and a recently retired co-worker know. Oh, and FI told one of his aunties (via email), and is counting on her to tell his dad. If his mom was alive, he would of told her first (and she would have told his dad). We are waiting to see what happens when his auntie tells his dad. We think it will be ok... apparently his dad told his auntie at the beginning of this year we need to get married. Also, the last time FI and his dad had a discussion that involved me as a topic (spring this year), his dad told him flat out... we had to get married or break up.
Back to happy stuff...
Instead of diamond engagement ring, it is a sapphire, but there are micropavé set diamonds in the band (which is platinum). Currently, my ring is being created. It is expected to be done by the weekend before T-giving.
I'm am wondering if I can wear it when I get it (and we have made a formal announcement) or if I have to wait until the formal engagement ceremony? Does it matter? I think FI plans to ask his auntie.
I'm overwhelmed with the planning process. I had always figured *if* I got married, it would be something low key. I have accepted this won't be the case, but it's still overwhelming to consider. Yet, I know FI's aunties are gonna go all crazy on us in terms of the planning -- since his mom is deceased, his father is the patriarch, and he's *finally* getting married! I'm tryin' to brace myself for it.
Ok, that's it for now.
Cheers!
Oh, yeah.... P.S. We live in the Bay Area, but are planning to marry in Tucson, AZ (where I grew up). FI thinks his dad won't like that.... FI grew up in Houston, TX where his dad continues to reside.
Re: Hiya!
Welcome! It does seem like a sticky situation but something that will work itself out.
You can wear the ring before the Formal Engagement. Normally it's not an issue. What religion are you guys if you don't mind me asking? This will depend on what you need to do as far as the ceremony and traditions are concerned.
I wanted a small wedding as well. For Indians it doesn't exist, but some of the girls on here got pretty lucky with their sizes. I have 400-500 and it doesn't look like it's going down.
Happy Planning and if you need something please ask.
It's really easy to get overwhelmed, but the key to not letting it get to you is to tackle one thing at a time. It really does help!
I think you can wear your engagement ring prior to your formal engagement ceremony, I know that I did and it was ok. But I think it's good that you have your FI's aunt to consult on things and I'd see what she says since some families might have different traditions.
Do you think his dad will be upset with your engagement? I know from experience that as long as parents see that you and your significant other are happy, their worries and trepidation take a back seat or in some cases just disappear.
As for the wedding itself, it's traditionally held in the hometown of the bride's family, so I would be surprised if that is a problem, but again, some families might have different traditions or preferences. I'd cross each bridge as you get to it
Congratulations again! There are some lovely ladies on this board who are a great help with anything and everything you could need!
Thanks for the intro - - Your ring sounds lovely!
I got married Aug 1st of this year in Toronto (Canada)
I love sharing my ideas and experiences so please feel free to ask
Happy Planning!
FI is Hindu. I wasn't brought up within a formal religious structure, but was eseentially brought up to be a religious pluralist. We are planning just a Hindu ceremony.
I think his dad has accepted (maybe?) that I am around. I think his dad at this point is more bothered by the fact we live together unmarried. So the engagement will be a positive (because once we're actually married, it resolves the "living in sin" issue his dad finds troubling), but I think FI's dad will be the least happy person at the wedding. At least the rest of FI's family seems to be really excited I'm around.
In terms of tradition regarding the wedding location... FI's dad doesn't care about social etiquette. He'll have to just deal or stay home.
MrsBM.... we went to Toronto for a October 17th wedding (one of FI's cousins).
Thank you for the welcomes and offers for assistance. I'm sure I'll definitely take you all up on it.