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Another weird SIL experience...

temurlangtemurlang member
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in South Asian Weddings
So SIL posted an article on FB about selective abortions of girls in India, titled "Ladoos and Jalebis:  The code of killer doctors in jatland."  She got some mixed responses as someone felt it unfairly pointed at everyone in a certain community.  But what I found more questionable was her status update along with the post:

"Thank goodness I'm was allowed to live!"

She implies my ILs would do gender selection!  WTF???  (Yes, and all that private schooling and she writes like that.)  My ILs have their drawbacks, but that's not one of them.  And why would you post that on FB?  My ILs are on FB all the time and I'm sure they won't want to be portrayed that way.  She has finally found a guy... I don't want him to get a wrong impression of the family!

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Re: Another weird SIL experience...

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    TravelMal3TravelMal3
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    edited December 2011
    Your SIL sounds immature, yes.  But I don't think you should take it that way.  I think she was being sarcastic.  It's an awful practice.... and sometimes when I speak of similarly backward practices, I make sarcastic retorts.  If anything, she is "giv[ing] the wrong impression" or implying something about Indian society as a whole.  That's how I read it.  Not saying whether that's right or wrong.  But I would not read that as pointed towards the values of your in-laws.  But you know her better...
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    temurlangtemurlang member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_another-weird-sil-experience?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:99330810-cdd8-468b-959e-e162c5be8965Post:a3992392-21d0-4503-b2a4-62b6ad3be57a">Re: Another weird SIL experience...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your SIL sounds immature, yes.  But I don't think you should take it that way.  I think she was being sarcastic.  It's an awful practice.... and sometimes when I speak of similarly backward practices, I make sarcastic retorts. <font color="#000080"> If anything, she is "giv[ing] the wrong impression" or implying something about Indian society as a whole.</font>  That's how I read it.  Not saying whether that's right or wrong.  But I would not read that as pointed towards the values of your in-laws.  But you know her better...
    Posted by TravelMal3[/QUOTE]

    <font color="#000000">Yeah, </font>I definitely felt that way about it, as did others judging from their comments.  A lot of people were offended because they felt it was a generalization.

    As far as the sarcastic part, you might be right.  That's the problem with email and FB, you have no tone of voice or context for comments.  DH didn't take it as sarcasm, but she could have meant it that way.

    At least the potential H didn't seem to take it as offensive or anything.  Phew!
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    SonaliPopSonaliPop member
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    edited December 2011
    I think it was sarcasm. Tasteless to some, sarcasm to others.
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    TravelMal3TravelMal3
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    edited December 2011

    Glad your H is not taking it to heart.  Hopefully not your ILs, either.

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    raangoliraangoli
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    edited December 2011
    Does she have a flair for the dramatic? That's how I would take it. The good thing though is that the potential husband didn't duck and run for cover!
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    temurlangtemurlang member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_another-weird-sil-experience?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:99330810-cdd8-468b-959e-e162c5be8965Post:2c858c92-14db-4869-89b4-2ba395401d88">Re: Another weird SIL experience...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Does she have a flair for the dramatic? That's how I would take it. The good thing though is that the potential husband didn't duck and run for cover!
    Posted by raangoli[/QUOTE]

    Yes!  I think she loves being in the middle of drama.  Today apparently she had a fight with her roommate (more of a sublettor, but paying a good chunk of the rent).  It was so bad that the other girl immediately packed her stuff and left!  I can't even imagine how bad the fight must have been that someone would leave without even finding another place first.  Now DH is worried that 1)  she won't be able to pay her rent (she already asked me for money for it) and 2)  she'll do that to the potential husband too.
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    raangoliraangoli
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    edited December 2011
    What the heck could you fight over that could cause someone to pack up their stuff and leave the same day?! Your sister in law is definitely unique!

    How long has she been talking to the potential husband for? Has she shown her "true colors" yet?
    ExerciseMilestone
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    temurlangtemurlang member
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    edited December 2011
    Her previous roommate also left after a fight... and it was her apartment in the first place!  The roommate friend requested DH on FB after his previous trip tp India.  SIL flipped out and said all kinds of really nasty things, including that she was "trying to steal my brother" and was "ugly, stupid, and didn't know how to do anything for herself" the other girl moved out.

    The new roommate was a consultant, so she paid half the rent and was hardly ever there... kind of like the ideal roommate everyone wants.  According to FIL, SIL randomly demanded money from this girl in a hostile manner that caused her immediate departure.

    The guy has only been on the scene a couple of months, and SIL has been sending romantic photos of them together to the whole family.  I don't think he "knows" yet, and what's worse, we really can't afford her wedding til next year, so she really needs to behave til then!
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    raangoliraangoli
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    edited December 2011
    Oh geez, she is a real handful isn't she? Are you sure shes 36 years old? She seems to act like a young 20 something who doesn't know better.

    Does she really want to get married or is she doing it because she feels like she probably should so that someone will take care of her? (Sorry if that sounds mean/harsh)

    I'll keep my fingers crossed for you guys!
    ExerciseMilestone
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    temurlangtemurlang member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_another-weird-sil-experience?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:99330810-cdd8-468b-959e-e162c5be8965Post:43f46091-8ccc-4d89-9198-7e674a09281c">Re: Another weird SIL experience...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Oh geez, she is a real handful isn't she? Are you sure shes 36 years old? She seems to act like a young 20 something who doesn't know better. Does she really want to get married or is she doing it because she feels like she probably should so that someone will take care of her? (Sorry if that sounds mean/harsh) I'll keep my fingers crossed for you guys!
    Posted by raangoli[/QUOTE]


    I would cut her some slack if she were 20, but I really think by 36 you should be a tad more mature.

    As far as whether she actually wants to get married, that's a good question.  She may feel that she doesn't have a choice, since she either needs to work or get married and she doesn't want to work.  I think her ideal situation would be to be single and have DH support her, but obviously that's out of the question.  Actually, MIL thinks she is gay, but I don't think so.  I think she just doesn't want to make any of the compromises that go along with a relationship.
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