Desi Clothes or Not? Advice Appreciated

temurlang

DH and I are invited this weekend to a dinner at his friend's home welcoming us as a married couple.  DH describes it as "traditional" and a "ritual" so it's not just a regular dinner because we're back from India.  However, DH is absolutely no help on what to wear.

Some background in case this helps:  The hosts are Marwari.  Unlike most of DH's friends, the wife wears jeans most of the time, so normally I would wear jeans to their house unless it's a big party.  We have no idea who's going to this dinner, but I think it's small.  DH also hates silwar kameez, although I wear it more often since saris are more difficult for me.

Am I supposed to wear Desi clothes?  Am I supposed to dress up (like pants and shirt or dress instead of jeans)?  If Desi clothes are appropriate, silwar suit or sari?  And how dressy?

Thanks!

DFWIndian

I was always default to Indian clothes on these things. It would be better to be the person wearing Indian clothes then the person only wearing American clothes. If it's Ritual I bet it's more Indian clothes.

raangoli

Not sure if this is an option or how close you are to the host and his wife, but can you ask? I am sure they wouldn't mind. But if you're not comfortable doing that, I'd lean towards wearing a salwar kameez. To me it's not as formal as a sari, but you're still wearing desi clothes. I agree with DFW that its better to be the person in desi clothes than American. That happens to me sometimes and I feel so awkward, hah.

temurlang

Thanks!  Yes, it is awkward to be the only person in American clothes... that  happened to me several times when I started dating DH.  He's not very good at letting me know what to wear and he's pretty clueless about it anyway.

I will try to find out from someone beforehand, otherwise a silwar kameez seems like the best option.

temurlang

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_desi-clothes-not-advice-appreciated?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:a0c02b2d-6131-4d83-b970-43a4ac340e44Post:fe3b2360-4842-4ab6-9830-d7a64f61ffa2">Re: Desi Clothes or Not? Advice Appreciated</a>:
[QUOTE]How abt dark jeans or tights with a longer top and pashaan with brighter colors? ..This way you won't feel awkward if you ARE the only one in Indian outfit.. Esp if the host fall under the friends category than it is def. ok to go with casual elegant wear.
Posted by BellsnRings[/QUOTE]

Hmmm... good point... I guess pants or jeans with a nice kurta are also options that are kind of in between.

MrsBM

I agree with the ladies on the indian clothes.

I know this is probably a little backwards thinking but as a newlywed'ed (sp?) bride we are suppose to look more dressed up than the regular person.  So ANY time I see my husbands extended family or my side's family and friends I've been a little more dressed up.  But I also like to dress up whether it is skirts or saris etc....additionally my MIL has asked me to lol

I'll probably continue this until everyone has seen me at least once or twice since our wedding.

So in your case I'd def err on the side of dressed up desi clothes!