Am I being too sensitive....

mimosa1977

My MIL and both SILs to be have been shopping for outfits to wear for the wedding and reception.  All of us got together this weekend and they showed me pics of outfits they gad tried on from different indian stores.  They are all very pretty  - however all of them are EXTREMELY dressy.  These are some of the same outfits I tried on.  I just don't want to be upstaged..I don't know them very well.  What do I do? 

raangoli

I would probably feel the same way you felt. Do you think they could pick up on your feelings or were you good at hiding them? Have you picked your ceremony and reception (if you're wearing two different ones) outfits yet? Maybe if they see what you have picked, they will have some direction on what they should choose?

You could also mention it to your FI and see whether he'd be willing to mention something casually to his sister(s) to see what they think?

I doubt they are chosing dressy outfits on purpose - perhaps they have just a differnet sense of style? Do you think maybe that has something to do with it?

Priya310

I don’t think you are being too sensitive.  The same thing happened at my engagement.  My cousin bought an outfit that was covered in crystals.  I didn’t see it before the engagement, but from hearing about it, I was so scared that it would upstage me.  But then, I thought about it, how can the bride be upstaged at her own wedding?  Everyone is coming to see the bride!  No one cares what anyone else is wearing.  I think no matter what anyone else wears to the wedding, the bride will be the center of attention. But if it bothers you, I would say something.  Tell them to calm down and that it’s not their wedding.  They will have their turn…

Priya490

I don't think you're being too sensitive, I would feel the same way. Have they seen pics of your outfits? I would make sure they knew what you are wearing because I'm sure they wouldn't want to upstage you. Sending them pics of your outfits might put things in perspective for them.

drgirl

I can understand why you're annoyed. That being said, no one can upstage the bride. Perhaps they just like to dress up and have a dressier/different style than your own? In that case, they may not like having to dress down (it's their son's/brother's wedding after all). Worst case scenario, they're going to be upset about being asked to dress differently and is tension with the in-laws over that really worth it?

I agree with showing them pictures of what you're wearing and if they choose to buy outfits less dressy then all the better, but if they don't, I'd suggest letting it go.

All eyes WILL be on you anyway

temurlang

PPs are right... no one can outshine the bride

Really, if people overdress it will make them look foolish and won't detract from you at all.  There were actually people at our American wedding who were overdressed, which I didn't think was possible (I mean, who actually wears a gown anywhere?).  No one noticed.

PPs are also right that they might just be used to a different style.  They also might be doing it to "show up" your side.  I felt the same as you because my SIL also did that.  You can hint by showing them pictures of your outfit or have your FI talk to them, but don't worry about it overly.  Everyone knows who the bride is.

kpwedkk

Agree with Previous posters - No one will be able to upstage the bride and the groom, so just let it go... Your engagement, wedding and reception is not on who has the most money, the flashiest outfit, or the most makeup, it's about being yourself, and loving the man of your dreams.  It's about the genuinity of your love and his love for each other, and the life you are beginning as a couple :-)  Just keep that at the back of your mind.... if your family and relatives make such a big deal about the outfit they are wearing to your wedding, and all the drama that ensues, just let it go, smile, and talk about marrying your love :-)

devakik

Agreeing with most of the posts, no one will be able to upstage you.  I have been to countless weddings and when an in-law dresses up as much as the bride, we always whisper about the how the in-laws are unaware and the bride is such a good sport for putting up with that kind of behavior.  Everyone will know that it is your wedding.

(That said...) If it were me, I would say something to my FH like "Did you see the outfits that your family is trying on for our wedding?  They are outfits I've tried on."  Hopefully he'll be able to convey to his family that while a wedding is an exciting time, they should remember as future family members of the bride that this is YOUR day.  Then again, I feel very comfortable with my FH because he is extremely laid back and I am very tightly wound.  If you do decide to go the route of saying something to him, remember to stay calm so that no one can say you're a bridezilla.

SonaliPop

You won't be outshined, but I understand your concerned. Just mention the level of heaviness your outfit has and that should take care of it. No one wants to outshine the bride either, not purposely.