South Asian Weddings

Seeking advice from my older FSIL

My FSIL is 30. She's been married for the better part of 10 years and lives with her in laws. She is a modern person who has a job and who has studied and she and her husband love eachother...and to be honest, she is the only person I know who I can ask about living with in-laws who is around my age. She knows what it's like, what to expect, the conflicts and positive points. I don't have anyone in my family who lived with their in laws and stayed there and she is a very nice person. BF says it's a good idea to ask and I'm sure she'd be really happy to answer any questions. It's not a bad idea, is it? Obviously I wouldn't say anything awful to her, I just want to know how it is. The only other person whose experiences I have heard is my aunt who is unhappy regardless of what happens. My aunt lives with my elderly grandparents and is never really happy about anything. So, asking her actually makes me feel worse.

What do we think about this? My FSIL travels with her husband all the time, they go out, they have their own life...and they are very happy. I think it'd be a good thing to talk to her...I can relate to her.

Re: Seeking advice from my older FSIL

  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't have a friend or relative to ask, else I would.
  • edited December 2011
    I think it depends on your relationship with your FSIL. If you have a good, open relationship with her then I don't see a problem with it, otherwise it might be weird to ask questions.

    But if you're close and/or she is open about things, I don't see why you couldn't. Maybe start somewhere that isn't too "controversial" and see how she reacts and then go from there? If you say she is modern and more of our generation, I don't think she would have a problem with it...
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  • Bhanu&AnujBhanu&Anuj member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree on it depends on your relationship with her....

    Also what is the actual relation to her... whether she is your FI's sister or your FI's brothers wife....I would NOT ask the latter ....
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  • SonaliPopSonaliPop member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    My future FI's sister. He thinks it's a really good idea to talk to her about these things.
  • mkjasanimkjasani member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with PP - if you have an open / close relationship with her then you should definitely reach out to her.  Although definitely start out conservative / neutral ground and take your direction from her.  You don't want to get into a discussion where one or the other of you is uncomfortable.
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