Shoe Stealing

amberlynned

Hello Ladies,

I was originally planning to have my bridesmaids steal FI's shoes during the wedding ceremony right after he took them off to enter the mandap. 

My sister is saying it is "trashy" to interrupt an elegant ceremony with such antics and I am wondering when you are doing your shoe stealing?

She suggested to do it at the rehearsal dinner. What do you think?

Bhanu&Anuj

I think traditionally it happens after he takes his shoes off before he enters the mandap?

BUT I've seen some very 'aggresive' groomsmen/boys on the grooms side who don't let the girls take the shoes.  I guess it's all in good fun....but the fun kind off disolves when people get too too involved in the competition. 

I was once at a wedding where the girls weren't able to get the guys shoes...so after the ceremony (right before the doli/vadai) one of the brides male cousins lifted the groom up and the girls grabbed his shoes..cheap move but funny!

Hinaj

I think it is a fun tradition to do.  We have something similar in Mehndi and at the beginning of the ceremony, but even if they are fun, sometimes they do get out of hand.  It happened in one of my cousin's mehndi and the groom got so pissed because some of my cousin's brother really took it out of hand.  For me, I never saw the fun in it after, since people can't seem to think it is just some fun, not literally a competition. 
That is one of the reason I am worried about doing it, if it gets out of control.  Those cousins will still be around, and try to be part of all of this even though I don't want them to.  I just want them to attend as guests.  

jnsaini

amberlynned 
My BM's will be stealing his shoes the minute he takes his shoes off in the temple We didnt have issues at my sister wedding, I was the shoe thief along with her bff, it went well we got 100$ each till my aunt gave $50 back to him..boo

Bhanu&Anuj

jnsaini

Whoa girl thats a lot!  The most I ever got was 20 dollars....but usually the groom has to give to like 10 girls lol

raangoli

Shoe stealing is definitely on the list of things to do! FI is well aware of it and I told him I have a feeling my sister in law (married to my brother) will want to do it, and he's fine with it. He says he will have backup shoes so he doesnt have to pay out, haha!

I think as people remember it's all in good fun, it should be fine! While weddings are elegant affairs, it doesn't mean that you can't have some fun with it!

HisBelovedOne

I hadn't even considered this. Now I'm wondering if I should include extra money in the budget for him to give away to shoe thieves...

jnsaini

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_shoe-stealing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:430Discussion:aedc8750-1357-4899-b1dd-fd09909df5b3Post:090ae959-383b-4ace-9b10-0d3811baa700">Re: Shoe Stealing</a>:
[QUOTE]jnsaini Whoa girl thats a lot!  The most I ever got was 20 dollars....but usually the groom has to give to like 10 girls lol
Posted by Bhanu&Anuj[/QUOTE]

BhanuandAnuj
It was just us two girls, thats why we bagged more money. For my wedding its 7 girls! It would be around $21 or more for shoe stealing (I asked FI to do $21 he said he will do more dont know how much- I was surprised lol) and you know about adding the extra $1 the desi thing to do :).
Have any of you ladies worked out a master plan for shoe stealing me and my BMs are holding a meeting during the shower to discuss the topic haha

amberlynned

I have 8 BMs. I am starting to wonder if it should just be two people from each side. That may control the chaos a bit. We would have to warn both sides to be very good about it and remember that it is not a serious competition.

I'm just worried because FI's best man split his pants (yes he really did) at the last wedding he went to. So I can just see someone losing a sari or more pants being lost in the battle.

But if we only allow 2 people from each side to participate, will that take the fun out of it?

Jeff and Deepthi

Can someone explain this?? Sorry we don't have this tradition.

Hinaj

Gosh, the wedding I mentioned before, we ended up getting like $500 or somethign and we split it between me, my sister, 2 sisters of the bride and we shared a little with the bride's brothers as well. 

I told FI that is how much it will probably cost him, since I thought that was the norm.  LOL.  My sister says she is willing to negotiate in advance.  LOL. 

amberlynned

Thanks Ladies.

@Jeff & Deepthi, In a lot of Indian weddings, right before the groom enters the mandap, he removes his shoes. The bride's sisters, BMs, etc. steal his shoes and try to keep them away from the groomsmen for the entire ceremony. At the end of the ceremony, the groom has to buy them back in order to leave with his new wife. 

I believe the tradition started back when the bride's family really mourned the loss of their sister/friends/etc. and tried to delay the wedding by all ways possible. another tradition like that is how they stand in front of the bride & groom's getaway car and the groom has to pay them more to have them move out of the way. (we will not be doing this one)

Jeff and Deepthi

Wow.. No wonder you're weddings get so expensive you have to pay off a lot of people...lol

Those are really cool traditions. We don't do them cause of the whole Christian thing. I've only been to one Hindu wedding and they only did it to make their parents happy so I don't think they did all the traditions. I can't wait for my other friend to get married cause I'm sure they will do everything!

kpwedkk

On the shoe stealing bit, my DH did something kind of funny - he bought two pairs of shoes, the one he wore, SIL carried it in her purse, and the other one was left outside with all the other shoes LOL

My cousins were coming up with other people's shoes - demanding money hehe and all you hear is "Hey, Miss, that's my shoes!"