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Who does what in a Hindu wedding

rdivaterdivate
in South Asian Weddings
I am having a hindu wedding ceremony, and my fiancee is american. Our families will be splitting the cost, but what are the responsibilities of the groom's family at an indian wedding?  Any websites or any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
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Re: Who does what in a Hindu wedding

  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hi Rdivate,
    Welcome to the boards!  And congratulations on your engagment!!

    In the traditional days, the groom's family obligations were focused on the rituals performed before the wedding for the groom (e.g. haldiwaan), and travel for the groom's wedding party to the bride's hall (e.g. accomodations, airfare, rental car)  Normally the groom's wedding party takes care of their outfits, and if he's riding in on a horse/elephant, then that would be taken care of as well...

    Now, in the modern world, as the bride, I paid for the majority of our wedding, and DH paid for transportation and accomodations for his whole family, and his friends as well as for the honeymoon.  We didn't give any such obligation to our parent's to have.  Any jewelry needed (e.g. mangal sutra, ring) the groom paid for as well.

    Some links that may provide more insight -

    - Link 1 - Groom's responsibility in a wedding

    - Link 2 - General information about Indian weddings

    - Link 3 -  Different rituals and customs

    - Link 4 - A lot of answers to the question you are asking at askville

    It could be a common discussion to have a plan/schedule of what events you and your fiance wants to have as part of the wedding ceremony  And take into consideration the budget...

    -is your family traditional or liberal (e.g. is there a specific place that you have to have your Hindiu marriage)
    - are you having 2 weddings, one American and one Hindu?
    - are you having a reception?
    - is the food going to be veg or non-veg?
    - is there going to be an open bar at the reception?
    - are you having a wedding lunch, or does your wedding flow right into the reception?

    Based on these questions and more, it could be that your parents could handle the wedding preparations, and your fiance's parents could handle the reception if it does split down the middle in cost...

    Hope that helps :)






    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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  • kpwedkkkpwedkk member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In another link - I saw this, and it details out what the groom's family and what the bride's family pays for... these are just guidelines though:

    http://pa.southasiansource.com/newsas/who-pays-or-what.php

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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  • MrsBMMrsBM member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Hi rdivate ~ Congrats!!!

    I think traditionally (from what I've been told by my parents) the groom's family pays for the reception and the bride's family pays for the wedding ceremony. 

    However, I think if both families are modern / liberal then it may be appropriate to split the costs if the parents are paying.

    In my case, my hubby and I paid for all the day of vendors plus our sangeet evening (including vendors, food and hall rental)... my parents paid for the breakfast and lunch during the ceremony then both parents paid 'their share' for their guests for the reception.

    I think there needs to open communication to define who will pay for the wedding...which may differ from wedding to wedding.

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  • tinashahdoshitinashahdoshi member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Congratulation Rdivate on your wedding! We are wedding photographers (http://www.ksdweddings.com) but just from our own experience.. can offer some suggestions. Today's wedding costs can really add up. Consider your overall vision and budget for the wedding, and then have a meeting of the minds with both families to come up with a compromise on who pays for what. Often times, costs can be spit 50/50 or a Bride's family may take care of those items that matter most to them.. photography, reception hall, decor... and Groom's family may take care of the ceremony, limo, DJ. Often time a couple will also consider what they can contribute themselves as well. Remember, a beautiful wedding isn't defined by the cost but by the meaning and heart that went into planning. We have photographed more and more DIY weddings that are completely unique where the Bride and Groom have the help of friends. A good example can be found here:http://ksdweddings.blogspot.com/2010/07/julia-ketan-magic-in-manhattan-july-3.html
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