July 2012 Weddings
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Future MIL dress..vent.

Hello fellow July brides! I have to vent about something that has been bothering me..

A little back story first... My future MIL wanted me to go dress shopping with her.  We get along well, so that was fine.  She tried on a few dresses..There was one she liked, I liked as well.  Her problem with it was that it was navy blue.  She didn't think that would be good for the July wedding.  Fine.  So she goes looking for something similar.  She finds one that is pink.  It's a nice dress and all..but my bridesmaids are wearing pink.  It's not the SAME pink... but it's still pink.  And on top of that she plans on getting silver sandals to go with it...Bridesmaids are also wearing silver sandals and she knows this.

When she first showed me the dress I said "yeah, that's nice...but the bridesmaids are wearing pink." She proceeds to tell me that it's not the same pink.  Sometimes she even tells me that if I look at it a certain way, it doesn't look pink at all.  We were at the mall again this weekend and saw the dress... apparently I was supposed to agree with her that it doesn't look pink..."What does the tag say for a color?" she asked... "PINK"...her reply "does it really?? huh."

My FI has mentioned it to her.  She knows how I feel.  It's just really bothering me and it's going to continue to bother me. I even forwarded her an e-mail I received from David's Bridal with a similar dress in like 5 colors that are NOT pink. FI said something to his dad today hoping he would talk to her.  I just feel like of allllll the colors, she had to go with the one I picked? Previously she said pink made her look washed out.  I really don't get it. 
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Re: Future MIL dress..vent.

  • Sorry...I wouldn't be upset with the color of the MOB or MOG's dress even if they wore white...As long as they're comfortable & feel good in what they wear then that is what should matter (and you did say it was a different shade of pink).  People will know who the bride is and who the wedding party is and who the MOB or MOG is...
  • In Response to Re:Future MIL dress..vent.:[QUOTE]Sorry...I wouldn't be upset with the color of the MOB or MOG's dress even if they wore white...As long as they're comfortable amp; feel good in what they wear then that is what should matter and you did say it was a different shade of pink.nbsp; People will know who the bride is and who the wedding party is and who the MOB or MOG is... Posted by littlemoments324[/QUOTE]

    This. You have tried to let FMIL know how you feel and she doesn't seem open to choosing a different dress. In photos, the BMs and FMIL will rarely be together so no one else will notice. I would say that this is not a battle worth pursuing.
  • I think you're overreacting, I doubt anyone but you will notice. Hate to break it to you but pink is a pretty popular color. 
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  • I dont think it really matters what the parents wear. Its not like they are going to be standing up there next to you. Plus by the end of the ceremony and when dancing hits you wont give a rats a** if she was in pink, purple, green, or tye dye.
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  • I totally understand and i can understand how frustrating it is.. I am having similar issues with my FMIL.. BUT like everyone said not much you can do about it.  If you have already tried to explain to her that you are not comfortable with her wearing the same color and she doesnt seem to budge I would suggest just letting it go.
  • Eh, I can kinda get it. FMIL did something like this. We told her the colours and she instantly started looking at dresses (2 years ago) in these colours. I kinda think there's a difference between stumbling on a dress that's the same colour and loving it and purposely trying to act like part of the wedding party (which is FMIL's behaviour).
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  • My mom and FMIL both picked blue dresses even though my BM's are wearing blue. There are so many shades of blue and they are definitely different so I really couldn't care less. I told them anything that wasn't white was fine with me.

    Is there a reason why you care so much? I don't really get why it's a big deal.
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  • If it's a different shade of pink I wouldn't wear it.  I love pink dresses and there are a ton of different pinks.  My FMIL got a navy blue dress, and my BM's are wearing blue and I could care less as long as she is comfortable and likes what she is wearing.

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  • I guess maybe I cared so much because I just wanted her set apart from the bridal party, not to blend in. Then I got more upset when I shared my feelings she didn't care.. Then added that she was also going to wear the same shoes too. And asked me to change my bridesmaids shoes instead of her changing hers. I don't know. I think I'll go home and delete my knot account when I get out of work. Every time I post I get snotty replies. not all, but most
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  • I'm agree with pp...as long as she has different a style of dress and she looks pretty and comfortable. I wouldn't get too upset..my BM's are wearing peacock and purple...my mom is wearing a lighter shade of purple and FMIL is wear a different shade of teal and I'm fine with that...it will be ok ! :
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  • I think the girls who posted replies were all trying to give honest, helpful feedback. We try to be honest and helpful on this board - that is why I love it!

    As far as your original post, I don't think there is any problem with your FMIL wearing a shade that is similar to your wedding colors. Does the dress color or style match the bridesmaids exactly? If she would look like she was a bridesmaid, then I totally get it.  But if it is a different shade and style of dress, I think she should purchase the dress - especially if she is comfortable and confident in it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_future-mil-dressvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:4da008bf-6b78-45ce-97ec-0131de664627Post:7824dea5-5a88-41f6-b4aa-c445ba20d0c1">Re:Future MIL dress..vent.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess maybe I cared so much because I just wanted her set apart from the bridal party, not to blend in. Then I got more upset when I shared my feelings she didn't care.. Then added that she was also going to wear the same shoes too. And asked me to change my bridesmaids shoes instead of her changing hers. I don't know. I think I'll go home and delete my knot account when I get out of work. Every time I post I get snotty replies. not all, but most
    Posted by MeganL315[/QUOTE]

    You have only posted here 1 other time and everyone has been nice to you. 
  • Nobody has been "snotty"...they just disagree and are trying to help you see another point of view. If anything, you should be relieved and realize you can stop stressing over what she will be wearing.

    I too disagree...because, to be completely honest, most eyes are not going to be on the MOG-they are going to be on you, the bride. I can almost guarantee you nobody will notice she is wearing the same color shoes (my mom is wearing silver and so are my BMs, never crossed my mind the color "matches") and a different shade of pink. I told all my BMs, when they asked, that any silver shoes would be fine, because they are universal-which means there will probably be other people at your wedding wearing silver shoes. I have no idea what my FI's mom is wearing, and I offered to go shopping with her, but she hasn't mentioned it, so I am leaving it up to her. These moms are adults and are capable of dressing themselves. If she wants to look like a BM, she will be the one to look silly, not the bride!

    And as a PP mentioned, unless one of your BMs is related to your FMIL, they will be in very few, if any, pictures together. So really, don't stress over it. If you're like me, there are a lot bigger things on your plate to stress over right now!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_future-mil-dressvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:4da008bf-6b78-45ce-97ec-0131de664627Post:7824dea5-5a88-41f6-b4aa-c445ba20d0c1">Re:Future MIL dress..vent.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I guess maybe I cared so much because I just wanted her set apart from the bridal party, not to blend in. Then I got more upset when I shared my feelings she didn't care.. Then added that she was also going to wear the same shoes too. And asked me to change my bridesmaids shoes instead of her changing hers. I don't know. I think I'll go home and delete my knot account when I get out of work. <strong>Every time I post I get snotty replies. not all, but most
    </strong>Posted by MeganL315[/QUOTE]

    Yeah that's not fair to say and I agree with Penny. This is only your second post ever on this board. And the funny thing is we're the nicest of them all!! Haha just be glad you didn't post this on any of the other boards!!! Not even kidding.

    I understand where this can annoy you. I hate the fact that both moms are wearing black to our morning wedding. But what can I do? They love their dresses, they're happy and I just have to suck it up and do my best to forget about it. You might have just been venting and that's fine, it gets on your nerves. But unfortunately if you're looking for help, there's not much that can be done to change the situation. Since there's nothing else to do try to look on the bright side, at least she'll mesh nicely with the BMs instead of clashing completely. To me, that's even more annoying. Just breathe and you'll realize it's not so bad and there are bigger things for you to work out. GL
  • Ladies, I just wanted to take a moment to apologize.  Thank you for your input on my situation...I'm sorry that I reacted the way that I did to your advice.  Regarding what I said about snotty replies, the other one I was thinking of was on another board.  Anyway.. I have just been stressed lately with work/wedding so clearly I did not react well and again, I'm sorry.

    I also apologized to MIL this morning when they were over for breakfast.  I told her that I wanted her to wear what she wants to wear.  She said that she was going to keep an eye out for dresses, but if she doesn't find anything she likes better she will wear the pink one.  So...at this point I don't know what she'll be wearing - but at this point it is what it is.

    I'm sorry again for my previous comments.  I hope I'm ok to continue to be on this board :)
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