Offbeat Weddings
Options

My dad's brother is my step father

Ok very sticky situation here:

My mother and father divorced when I was really young and my father was not in my life very much growing up. My mother and her ex brother-in-law got together and married. They have been together since I was probably 4 and I am 25. He raised me and he is who I look at as a father figure. My biological father has come back in my life in the last 3 years. We are working on our relationship and he has become a really good man. He is very active in church and the community now but it is still hard for me to get close to him because I dont want my SF to think I am choosing my bio over him. I want to include the bio in my wedding and the best way I have thought is my SF to walk me down the aisle and my bio got ordained and is going to do the ministering of the ceremony. So my question is..

Should I have my bio say "Who gives this woman away" to my SF because I know in my dads heart he will feel like he is giving me away even though in my heart I feel as if my SF is.

Please help! I know its a hard situation to try to grasp but thats my life :)

Re: My dad's brother is my step father

  • Options
    edited April 2012
    What if you just opted to leave that line out? Not trying to play the liberal feminist card or anything, but you could argue that the line "who gives this woman away" is outdated because no one is giving you away, you're choosing to marry him, right?

    If that line is important to you then definitely keep it in the wedding, and hopefully your dad will be fine performing the ceremony. I'm sure your dad knows on some level he messed up in the past and shouldn't take that line super personally that he's not the one walking you down the aisle to "give away". I'm sure he's super proud that he's performing his daughter's wedding ceremony.

    Sorry I couldn't give you better advice and hopefully everything works out well.
  • Options
    I agree, you might be safer just leaving that line out of the ceremony alltogether.
  • Options
    Thanks ladies. I have been talking with some co-workers and pretty much everyone agrees to leave it out.
  • Options
    Instead of that line, we're using something like "Who represents the love and blessings of (bride's) family in support of this marriage?" Can't remember the exact wording, but if you want SOMETHING to be said at that point in the ceremony, that might be a good route to go.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    58 invited image | 17 love destination weddings image
    20 can't make it image | 21 don't know what to do with a RSVP card image
    RSVP Deadline: March 8th
  • Options
    We didn't have any line like that and I doubt it was missed. My daughter walked me down the aisle, we hugged, she walked away & we started the ceremony.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards