I need to vent! :( bad experience at tux store

Fabi&Nita

Why do pepole have to be so rude???

Me and my partner went into a tux place (don't know if I should say the name of it) but we walk in, we are both excited about looking at tux for the GM's and also for my girl. She is wearing a dress for the ceremony and a tux for the dance part of the wedding.

The ladies look at us and ask if we need help. I say YES we are getting married and we need some help.
The look and the tone of voice they gave us, was so wrong! I was so upset. We asked if they could work with my partner to tailor a tux to her body and the lady said We don't work with women! Our tailors are men and don't feel comfortable working with women!
I tell her that we were sent from a bridal shop (again won't say the name, but we love them) which said you would work with our needs. The lady then said that whoever the associate talked to didn't know what they are taking about. And again asked us, "What is it that you want?" I said we need tuxs but I was already mad so we just walked out. And they kept telling us that she couldn't help us.

We went back to the bridal shop and told them what happen (I use to work there so I know the managers) They couldn't believe what happened, both of the managers said that they would call and talk to the manager of the tux store. They made us feel much better and said how sorry they were for the way they treated us. They are amazing girls.

Thanks for reading and does anyone know of a place that sells womans tux or would be willing to work with a bride that wants to wear a tux? 

Thanks again!

K&J64

That really sucks, sorry they were so unwelcoming. Go elsewhere (like a mens warehouse or something) for the groomsmen tuxes. For your fiancee's tux for the reception I would check out Etsy. Most men's tuxes won't tailor very well to a woman, the original cut is all wrong. You can get a custom made suit from many sellers on Esty for her made to fit her and in any fabric and color you want. 

I think for a well tailored suit/tux for a woman you really need to have one custom made. You may find a lot of tux shops give you a hard time and it will have nothing to do with you being two women, just that it's difficult to tailor a man's tux to a woman's body.

Good luck!

katrinamlarson

My partner and I have just began talking about our wedding that will happen sometime in the future (we are both college students and do not have money to get married yet) and she has told me she wants to wear a dress at the ceremony and a tux at the reception and I didn't even give thought to how someone would not want to help a women wear a tux if she preferred to. I mean come on, we are spending money and keeping your store in business!

I am truly sorry for your bad experience, I hope your wedding is fantastic because you both deserve it.

Fabi&Nita

@ kcullen37 Thanks for the website we will check it out and I guess we can always look at other tux shops were the people are more friendly. Again thanks for your wonderful advice. Hope all your planning is going well

Fabi&Nita

@katrinamlarson
That's what we figured that if we are purchasing the tux that they can just tailor it but not at that shop. 
We feel better now, I'm not mad or upset and I'm looking forward to all the planning for the wedding

In a better note, Congrats to the both of you and its never to early to start planning or even just looking around to see what you would like for your wedding. We got engaged on 7/1/10 and the first thing we did was go a buy a wedding planner book.

melissaandmegan

That is completely unacceptable!! I am glad you went back and let the people who sent you there know that those associates were not helpful and downright rude.  If you are able, I would suggest you contacting the tux store manager personally also.  It will have some impact to hear about it from other retail management, but when it comes to unhappy consumers, sometimes that lights the fire under their bum!

I am not sure what to say about the tux.  I think the tailoring/fit issue may also depend on your partner's body type.  My FI can (and does) wear a good bit of men's clothing because her body holds them right.  If this isn't the case, you might also want to look at some of the higher end department stores and see if they carry men's and women's formalwear and if they would be willing to work with you to find something appropriate.

Good luck, and please let us know what happens...and if you find a suopportive place, spread the news!    Word of mouth is key for a lot of us.

~Melissa

Fabi&Nita

@ Melissa

I was going to call the store manager and I totally forgot. Now that you said something about it, I will call them today.
As for my fiance she has curves, so the men's tux just don't fit nice. We are going to have to shop around and hope we find something that works for her body.

To all....
Thanks for the advice and the support

mariemoten129

Fabi&Nita:: That's INSANE!!! i am soo sorry that you two had to go through that crap! Business is Business!!! Money is MONEY! who gives a crap where the money is coming from, just take our f-ing business! you know???

I am wearing a dress... and my fiance is going to wear a suit of somesort, she hasn't figured out yet where shes going to get one. Apparently she went into some store and they seemed fine with her. But she hasn't decided on anything yet. I will find out the store from her asap, to maybe help you out. Although, we live in Maryland... DC area, so i'm sure it depends where you live.

Maybe if you have any extra money, you could fly somewhere or drive somewhere where you KNOW they will be awesome about getting you a tux! I know that's really extreme, and who has money like that right? (im not crazy!!) But it's just an idea... I have a feeling that If my cosultant knew I was marrying a woman when I was about to buy the dress, she would have treated me slightly differently. Just because people are crazy.

Please keep us updated!!! we're thinking of you!!!

Fabi&Nita

@mariemoten129 Well we are did check out another tux shop yesterday (in OR) and the guy was really helpful we got lots of good ideas! And can't wait to pick out our style and color. So when you got your dress you never said that your fiance was a woman? I guess we are luck that I use to work for a bridal shop and everyone new about us and going back to share the new that we were getting married was exciting. Everyone is happy for us and can't wait for the day we go in to try on dresses!

CarissaHB

That's just nuts! My girl and I are both wearing dresses, and we went dress shopping together. The girls at the store were AWESOME. If somone would have had any problems, I would have thrown a fit.

bearini500

ok, go out, buy CURVe right now, there is an article on a designer who designs tuxs for women. I forgot the name...

A few years ago my partner was ignored at a Men's Warehouse. We live in a  VERY conservative state, so it was hard, but kind of common. We simply went to another store, and very confidently walked in, and said, we know that it isn't common but we need a tailor to make this suit fit, and we know that tailors, who are worth their salt, have that skill. period. and they didn't even blink, they just took care of it. so try somewhere else, again? 

Fabi&Nita

@CarrisaHB I'm glad that u had a nice experience! I have a question, did u guys go dress shopping together? We want to go together and see eachothers dresses but my mom-in-law thinks we shouldn't see eachothers dresses till the wedding day. @bearini500 Thanks for the tips I'll googel the magazine and see what I find.

LesAnn2007

I'm so sorry to read this. My partner wore a tux at our wedding - we probably would have gone the custom route if we'd known anything about tuxes but we went to a local Men's Wearhouse and had a good experience. They did pair us with a female tailor, but that may just have been whoever was working that day - no idea if it was deliberate!

midgemoto

That was pretty nasty.  I would call in advance and just straight out ask if they would be willing to work with women to fit their tuxes.   That way hopefully you will get better service or a straight ( excuse the pun ) answer.

 I think if you go right to the question first you will be more likley to get an appointment with a well minded, open and prepared salesperson...

 

jenjessi1812

wow that sucks, but jessi aand I aren't very surprised.  It is just ridiculous how rude people are.  so sorry to hear of that happening to you.

I'm hiring a seamstress/tailor to make Jessi's outfit.  We are going with something very similar to Ellen D.  but that can be costly, but worth it!

I hope you find better luck somewhere!

Fabi&Nita

Thank You so much to all of you I appreciate all the kind words and support. I'm so glad to have a place were we can talk to other same sax couples.

~Fabi~

LookingAtStars

@Fabi&Nita

My heart broke when I read your post. It is down right shameful that in 2011 we still have people who are so close minded and downright rude to customers, especially those who have a request that may be "out of the ordinary."

I would not only contact the manager of that store, but the district manager and maybe even higher up. You deserve respect and answers as to why an employee was behaving like that.

On a happier note, I am beyond thrilled for you and your future wife...many blessings to the two of you!

=O)

Fabi&Nita

@ lookingatstars You put a nice smile on my face, thank you!! and we wish you the best for you and your fiance.

Vonday98

I'm sorry to hear of this as well, but I have to say you did give me pause to think about this subject.  Sometimes we get so caught up in the moment, that we forget that people can be so insensitive and downright rude.  I never even thought about that, since we have civil unions here in NJ.  I just assumed that people would be friendly...I know,  I sound very naive...I'm not...I just forget sometimes...lol  I'm going to check out our local Men's Warehouse and see if they have a female tailor to help my fiancee with her tux.  With the stress of planning a wedding, the last thing you need to deal with is insensitive & rude people.

Thanks for sharing your story! 

~lynne

Shay5279

My girl and I went to Mens Wearhouse and they were so friendly and helpful.  The manager was so excited to take care of us and didn't disciminate just because we were lesbians.  Good luck finding a shop who will work with you and treat you with concern and consideration.