HELP!!

AliciaKris20

Good morning everyone,
My partner and are getting married in Iowa but we live in Arizona. I am planning on us getting married in Iowa this year and then to make it like a one year anniversary have another wedding and then our first reception followed by the honeymoon next year on the same day. However living in Arizona has its difficulties. I have been quite shy and afraid of calling the vendors down here to see if they are Same-Sex Friendly. Is there a way to look it up on the internet to see if they are Same-Sex Friendly before i get called a freak and a crime to nature by vendors I already get that from my mother and family. Thanks so much Alicia

2dBride

My sympathies!  Unfortunately, there really isn't.  There are places like soyoureengayged.com that have listings of gay-friendly vendors.  However, in an area that doesn't have legal same-sex marriage, many vendors who might be open to working with a same-sex couple have not yet had the opportunity, so they are not listed anywhere.

You could check to see whether there are any vendors in your area listed as gay-friendly.  If there aren't any, you could ask for vendor recommendations on your local board, but ultimately you will most likely need at least to call and ask if they are willing to work with a same-sex couple.

K&J64

You're getting married in IA? Gay marriage is legal there, so most vendors probably are fine with it.  Post on the IA local board, the ladies there may be able to help.

2dBride

kcullen37:  The problem is that although the legal wedding is in Iowa, she also wants to have a symbolic wedding back in Arizona.  The Arizona one is the one that's an issue.

K&J64

reading comprehension fail#

Still check the local AZ board. And call people. You'll find someplace - good luck!

AliciaKris20

we are flying there just to get the paper and have a court house ceremony but we are going to go all out in arizona surrounded by friends and family. That is where the problem comes up.

wishonastar01

I am sorry to hear about the reactions you've faced. My mom is not the most supportive either, so I do feel your pain.

With that being said, I live in Nebraska, but am getting married in Iowa as well. Even though I am a little (ok, a lot ) closer to Iowa than you, most of my vendors are Nebraska vendors. I wasn't sure how vendors would be but I went with the idea that if I told vendors from the beginning that it was a same-sex wedding I was getting their reaction upfront. One of my fears was that I would find a vendor, get to know the details of the service they could provide, get ready to sign a contract and put down a deposit and have them find out then it was a same sex wedding and decide to pull their service. 

My FI and I faced this a little when we were looking for a venue. When we went to this one place, I had emailed ahead when I set up the appointment that it was a same sex wedding. Apparently they didn't get the email. The guy led us to the grooms room and then when we let him know it was a same-sex wedding, left us for 10 minutes to get paperwork that he never came back with.  From that point on, we made 100% sure the vendor knew that it was a same sex wedding. Also, when I got away from always worrying if they would be "ok" with my wedding, I found myself looking for vendors that matched what we wanted for our wedding, not just a vendor that said they were ok with the type of wedding I was having. 

Not sure if this helps at all, but if you call/email potential vendors remember that the worse they can say is no and you never have to talk to them again. Best of luck in your planning. If you have any questions about Iowa, let me know.

Good luck!

  Jill

AliciaKris20

Thank you so Much that does help me alot.

vanmosher

I am doing something similar to you since gay marriage isnt legal in NY either. We are getting legally married in Massachuesetts in a simple ceremony then having a regular ceremony and reception with all our friends and family back in our home town of Syracuse NY. I have found so far that telling everyone I speak to first that it is a same-sex wedding has worked for us. And to my surprise we havent run into any issues at all. Everyone has been more than willing and very positive. Besides having to come out over and over again to strangers its been a good experience so far...
Just keep being proud and straight forward with everyone and it will work out. Remember there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. I got the best advice from my younger sister a few years ago when I was struggling with telling the older members of my family the truth of who I was... She said "Your relationship is just like anyone else's. If you act that way everyone else will too." What can I say she is a smart girl
Good luck!

bellafishman

I live in texas and I just called vendors most people dont care because they want your money and if some one cops an attitude the just take your bussiness else where unfortunately thats how sarah and I had to do it