Gay Weddings

Changing your name?

Co-Bride and I are planning on going to get our marriage license next week and still can't decide what to do about our last name(s).  We are either going to hyphenate or keep our own.  Part of me thinks a name change would be a big hassle, but then I really like the idea of having a *team* name, expecially for when we have kids.  Neither of us really feels comfortable totally changing to the other person's last name exclusively, and we would feel kind of weird about coming up with a totally new name.What is everyone else doing?  What are your reasons why?

Re: Changing your name?

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We are keeping ours.  I was married before, for nearly two decades and have two kids.  Honestly, it is not that big a deal to have kids with a different last name.I do recognize that it may be harder for same-sex parents, in that people will already ask stupid questions like, "So, which of you is the actual mother?"  If you don't want it to be obvious which of you is the biological parent, you could give the kids a hyphenated name or a whole new last name.
  • pdeannawpdeannaw member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We will be hyphenating our names...Since we are the only hope of our last names carrying on, and we both love our names together it flows really well ;)
  • edited December 2011
    I'm changing my last name to hers. I wanted to hyphenate, didn't agree with it at all. So in the interest of keeping the peace for the next 50 or so years, I'll be changing mine to hers. I practiced writing it down, and Sgt. and Mrs. White, made me smile more, and gave me butterflies. So, that was my sign that changing it was indeed the thing to do.
  • edited December 2011
    I too am having a hard time deciding. Ee are going for our marriage license next week too so time is running out! My honey wants me to change my name but I would like to keep my name. It is who I am. Also her family is not supportive of our relationship or marriage so why would I want to take their name. I suggested that we both hyphenate but she would not go for that. She can't give me a reason as to why it is so important to her but she is upset. She keeps telling me that we might as well be having a "best-friend' ceremony since I won't change my name. I am wondering if it is worth the fight or if I should change it to keep the peace.
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    chrystalschipper, on what possible basis did your FI decide that you, rather than she, should be making the name change?
  • edited December 2011
    I guess she thinks that because she asked me to marry her then I should change my name.
  • edited December 2011
    I am changing my name. I get to move up in the alphabet and I can be called Heather B like the rapper. LOL Its a running joke. Since same-sex marriage is not yet legal in our state I have to petition the court to change my name. Its gonna be a headache....
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers My bio Last Updated: 12/1/09 http://tinyurl.com/7zz6z7u
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Of course, this is totally your decision and you should go with whatever makes you feel most comfortable.  Your name is part of who you are and you shouldn't take it lightly.  I can see how this a bigger issue for same-sex couples because there isn't a standard to adhere to, but from a liberal straight girls perspective: my boyfriend and I will each be keeping our born names.  Any children will have hyphenated last names.
  • edited December 2011
    If we hyphanated our last names it would be soooo loooong... Fitzhugh-_ _ _ _ _
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers My bio Last Updated: 12/1/09 http://tinyurl.com/7zz6z7u
  • thiswillbethiswillbe member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We hyphenated our names. My given name was hyphenated already, so I moved one piece of it to be a second middle name, and added hers to the remainder of mine. We had to go through the courts, but it wasn't nearly as big of a hassle as I expected it to be.S initially had some concerns about picking up a part of my last name (my family is very unsupportive), but once she really got the fact that it is *my* name she's taking, not my father's name, she felt okay about it. She actually ended up being very enthusiastic about our new name. 
    married 03/08/08 -- ttc with PCOS (dx 2005) & DS
    IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
    Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
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  • edited December 2011
    We recently got married. I've already changed my surname to take my wife's by deed poll. Have applied for new passport and changed name at work. The only obstacle is changing my surname on the house deeds, as there's an outstanding mortgage on it. Woolwich told me to leave it in my maiden name. Reason is simple, we're very close to my wife's family. Whereas I only have contact with one uncle (mother's brother, hence diff surname anyway). In light of this and eventually planning a family, we decided a common surname with the family we have more affinity with, Hope that helps! Angela aka Mrs B :)
  • mtpetronemtpetrone member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiancee is going to take my last name because we didn't want to hyphenate and her name sounds better with mine than mine does with her. Basically, we like my last name better. :)
  • conversedconversed member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiancee and I are actually considering picking a new joint last name.  I know it seems weird.  But neither of us is fond of our last names and hyphenating them would sound horrible and be unfortunate for any possible future children.
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