Got the chair pulled out from under us :(

Heatherjenna

FI and I though all of our parents were on board with our wedding plans. All had seemed fine with it all and have good relationships with each of us...until today when FIs father dropped the bombshell and said he had been thinking and will not be attending the wedding, and doesn't care whether he is there or not. This came out of nowhere! I feel so bad and worse for my FI. It would be one thing if she or I had any idea how he felt....but we have been planning for 6 months now and have been together 4 years and we never had any idea.

Bummer day ok cried my river and now building the bridge to get over it...

nicknuttnc

That had to hurt. When you with a family that long it has to be devastating to hear news like that. Just keeping looking at the bright side one less plate you have to pay for. My plate is like 53 per person. Maybe you both need to sit down and find out what is really the root of the problem with FI father.

Heatherjenna

Yeah. He said simply "I'm old school, And I will not walk my daughter down the aisle". We are so disillusioned by it all that now my FI wants to elope. I think were going to take a break from planning (cancelled our JP appointment we were going to have tonight) sit back, and just see which elements really matter in our ceremony. It just sucks that I know my FI wanted her father by her side, and he led us on to believe he would be there until today

daisywithak

I'm so sorry.  I hope that your FI will decide to still have the ceremony and not elope.  I've been through the same thing and even though it hurts a LOT, you both need to remember that you have people that love and support you and her father will be the one that regrets not being there. 

heatherdutcher

Wow, sorry to hear about that.  My father won't be at my wedding either as we haven't spoken in a long time.  I don't even think he knows I'm engaged.  I asked my fiancee's father if he would swing back around and walk me down after walking her down the aisle lol  I know it sucks that he won't be there but know that everyone else who will be there loves you and supports you 100%.

Heatherjenna

Doing a little better with it today, as with PP were trying to think of creative ways to walk down the aisle...FI has bounced back a little and doesn't want to elope anymore (whew) but now it's just a matter of making sure she feels comfort a le with everything I guess. Her father ended up apologizing, but we really feel that he doesn't even see our wedding as an ACTUAL wedding - just like he had when he was our age. He didn't even know it was legal where we lived. He may end up coming, but we won't hold our breathes when we ask him to participate. Thanks for all your kind words

meredithday

I would lay the guilt trip on him........in her sweetest voice-
"Dad, all my life I have dreamed about my father walking me down the aisle at my wedding. Your decision not to do this  has hurt my heart deeper than anything ever has in my life. I am goiing to marry______ because she is the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my life married to her so I am hopeing you will reconsider your decision.
Then if he still decides not to attend....it's his loss. Is her mother still alive? Have her walk her daughter .