Gay Weddings

Wedding Roles

Hi Everyone - Can anyone help me with some ideas for the wedding party?

I have proposed to my boyfried and we are hoping to get married at some point in 2012 - so we're only just starting to think of ideas for our wedding. 

I really want to include some of my best friends in the ceromony and planning both as a thank you for being so great, and also as I can't imagine not sharing parts of my special day with them.  That said i'm keen for people to have a speific role - not just to have a title with no real purpose.

Both being guys, there will be no bride and as such we dont want to have bridesmaids.  We're thinking about having female ushers instead.  I really like the idea of having 'Best Friends' instead of Best Men, but i'm worried i might offend friends that i dont ask to be a best friend!

Besides the above, I've not found any real advice or ideas for the wedding party on the internet so i really hope someone out there might have some ideas or suggesitions of how they set up their wedding parties and what roles people had?

Thank you in advance for any help that will be greatfuly recieved!


Re: Wedding Roles

  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    These days, even in straight weddings, it is becoming common to have male attendants for the bride and/or female attendants for the groom.  We were a two-bride wedding, but one of our two attendants was male.  So if one or both of you wants to have a best woman, or groomswomen, that's perfectly fine.

    Of course, you can also have men, women, or both as ushers.

    The only thing I would caution you is to talk to the people you want to be your attendants in advance about what they would be expected to do.  For some people, being an attendant just means showing up on the day wearing the required clothing.  For others, it means being involved in the planning process from the beginning.  If your attendants expect the former, and you expect the latter, it's a recipe for drama in the wedding party.
  • K&J64K&J64 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Shire - We're each having a best man, maid of honor and two bridesmaids. Depending on how many men/women you wish you include in your wedding party you can use the best man and maid of honor titles as they're not bride specific. If you have more than one lady on each side you can use groomswoman or just refer to all you other attendants other than your best friends as honor attendants.

    Another great way to include people that are important to you without having them in the actual wedding party is to ask them to do a reading at the ceremony, whether religious or secular in context asking someone to read at your ceremony is always and honor, and it only requires them to show up that day and stand up and speak.

    I would suggest having best men or women/maid of honors that will be your #1s and help with planning and let them know you'd love their help too. If they want to throw your a wedding shower, engagement party, bachelor parties etc then talk to them about what the two of you want and let them have fun planning it.

    Congratulations and happy planning!

  • edited December 2011
    So far PP have had great solutions. I know with no doubt in my mind that one of my friends will be a bridesman, when I get to that point, my thoughts are if they've been there for me who cares what gender they are. Don't forget the reception also, you could make a friend who is a social butterfly the master/mistress of ceremony's (essentially emcee the reception), They could offer toasts or all be seated at a really large "head table" for the dinner if you're having one.
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  • edited December 2011
    I've also heard of people just having a wedding party without titles. i'm not sure if it would work for you, but it's a thought.
    or you could have groomsgirls and groomsguys or some other inventive names that represent your style better?
  • jodcoffeejodcoffee member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are a two bride wedding calling our "sides"  Suits and Stilletos... My FI is wearing a female tailored tux, but her side is the "suit" side as there are men and women on that side who will be wearing suits.  My "side" is wearing traditional BM dresses!

    Happy Planning!
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  • edited December 2011
    We aren't sure how our sides are going to go yet... As it all depends on if my two cousins are going to be able to BE in the wedding or not. They are OOT (out of towners) so I'm not sure if they can afford it.

    If they are in it... I think I'll have all the girls on my side... And since Tori my fiance has more guys in the wedding, she will have the guys on her side... wearing suits.

    The girls on my side will be wearing BM dresses...

    good luck! remember, its all what you want... there are no rules with this! :)
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  • Fabi&NitaFabi&Nita member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011


    I must admit that I didn't think about this till i saw your post. We are having both BM and GM (we r both brides) I have 3 BM and my brohter as the best men on my side. My fiance is having 2BM and 2GM on her side.

    Now as far as names I guess we have new thing on our to do list or just leave it as we have them.

    Good luck!!

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