Wedding question

jazmarie718

Hello Everyone,

My fiance and I are happy same sex couple who is planning our wedding in October 2010. I have a few questions actually. If anyone could help me I would most def appreciate it.

1). Is it ok to invite someone to your bachelorette party but not your wedding?

2) How can I add some nice accent lights to my reception venue without breaking the bank?

3)Menu cards for a buffet style meal necessary?

4)Since planning our wedding has become so expensive... what's the best way to inform your important people that they will get an appreciation gift after the wedding without seeming tacky?


Thank you for reading and I look forward to your responses

mysticl

1) That is considered in very poor taste by many, you will also be told that you should not be inviting anyone to the party because you should not be throwing one.  The social "rule" is that a friend/wedding attendant should plan and throw it and ask you for the wedding guest list so they know who to send invites too.

2) Not sure what your venue is like or your taste.  Candles are always romantic and can be found pretty cheap.  I like twinkle lights depending on how they are done. 

3) I've never seen a menu card at a wedding. Seems like a waste of money to me. 

4) Never seen this done so no idea.  Keep in mind the gifts don't have to be expensive (thoughtful is always better). 

2dBride

1.  I agree with the PP.  You don't set up a bachelorette or invite people to it, and no one should be invited unless they are also invited to the wedding.

2.  For the accent lights, you could consider paper lanterns.  I've got an article at this link about inexpensive ways of lighting them.

jazmarie718

Thank you both for your answers.

And as far as the bachelorette party.. I am not throwing my own party but I noticed that some people were on the list that wasn't invited to my wedding. At least 2 people were on the list and they have not been given an invitation nor did I intend for these ppl to be invited.

What to do? lol I can't uninvite them! This is a mess! smh

jazmarie718

And as far as the lighting... I meant accent lighting around the venue .. without using candles.. Perhaps a strobe that can give an accent light throughout the venue but a few that are inexpensive. Just don't know where to get them from .

JulietMichael

1.  Definitely not.
2.  LED Christmas lights work great, you can buy or make little coverings to go over teh actual lights that diffuse them.

InfamousQBert

can you do twinkle lights? ikea has some that are really inexpensive.

they look a little funny online, but in person, they're very delicate, even more so than your standard white christmas lights.

http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/90153866

mysticl

This is why some of these "rules" make me a little nuts.  Because it's rude to invite people to the pre-wedding parties and not the wedding but then it's rude to throw your own party but if you aren't the one throwing the party how do you control the guest list?  Now some people will jump on you saying it's your fault for not giving the wedding guest list to the person planning your party.  I don't agree with that because there are so many issues with that, such as they didn't ask for the list or opted not follow the list.  The straight forward, honest part of me wants to say Oops, guess those people aren't coming to the wedding.  Some people may tell you to see if there is anyway to fit them into the wedding. 

These are also some of the reasons I don't want any pre-wedding parties. 

yribequitana2013

*mysticl i completely agree with you!!! i dont care about tradition... hell my wedding isnt tradition.. my fiance and i are planning our own party together... we will not have a bachelorette party just a simple lunch with family and friends. when it comes down to it... i really dont want everyone invited to my pre wedding parties.. and i would love to know who is going to be there..
were also not have a rehearsal dinner.

as far as the invite part goes.. if they werent invited to the wedding then you could always tell them that the party got changed..or tell the person that invited them you made your bed now sleep in it(fix the problem for you...its not your fault)
i'm having a buffet style wedding too and i will not be doing menues.
 as far as lighting goes i like the idea of twinkle lights they add alot to weddings..
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.webvivah.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/wedding_lighting.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.webvivah.com/blog/%3Fcat%3D1&usg=__mNV2Q_-bwCEI2MzVnerdxl2_cCA=&h=480&w=640&sz=67&hl=en&start=5&tbnid=dKBzvIZ1qeYpjM:&tbnh=103&tbnw=137&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dlights%2Bfor%2Bweddings%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1020%26bih%3D567%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&biw=1020&bih=567

jazmarie718

Thank you everyone! 

I love the idea of the twinkle lights.. very chic and very inexpensive! Love it!

and to InfamousQBert... U are your fiance look ADORABLE! God bless !

 

Yes, I am already going nuts over the "rules" but I think at this point I'm gonna take your advice and have the bridal party worry about the guest list since they are the ones planning it. I already have enough on my plate as it is. Sheesh I can barely sleep at night cuz I have wedding on the brain 24/7!! At this point ...whatever happens HAPPENS... and Im just gonna enjoy my wedding day and have a blast!! 

emango83

Here are some great ideas for gay weddings - many useful articles from some of the top wedding bloggers who support gay weddings:  http://my-wedding-concierge.com/Wedding-Trends/Gay%20Weddings

creatinwerhul79

In terms of lighting, have you thought about floralytes?
We bought a bunch of blue ones to put in paper lanters.  But they also have the submersible ones that you can put in a vase or centerpiece or just throughout the room. 

jazmarie718

Excellent Idea!...thanks!