Dress Dilemma (Read - FI thinks it's ugly) :(

Sweet_Adeline

So, I was laready kindof second-guessing my dress, but had decided I was just being indecisive and that after all the alterations were done (it's about 4 sized too big - from a sample sale) it would look much better.

So fast forward to last night...

I was browsing through some dresses online and came across one that looks very similar to my dress.  I asked FI what he thought of it (a common occurance when I'm looking at dresses) and he told me he thought it was UGLY.  And he was being serious.

Now I really have no clue what to do.  I know that it's MY dress and I should wear what I like, but I don't want him to think it's ugly!!  Plus, all the ones that he tends to think are pretty I don't really care for (though I don't hate them, they're just kindof blah).

Totally at a loss as to what to do...

TashaK24

Your FI is going to think you're beautiful no matter what you wear.  He may not like the model in the dress, but when it's you, it'll be a totally different story.  I assume you guys have decided he won't see the dress until the  day?  What do your friends/family think?  The dress that I'm thinking of buying looks horrible on the model but I LOVE it on me (who'd have thought?!) so don't always go by the model.  He's going to think whatever you are wearing is gorgeous.  If you're really worried I would ask him if he wants to see your dress ON YOU.  If he says no, then don't worry about it.  Trust yourself (and family/friends) that you chose the right dress.  If he says yes, then show him and deal with what he says then.  I bet he doesn't really care about the dress, he cares more about the woman inside. (wow, sorry for the cheese, but it's true!)

disturbedkitty

I agree with Tasha. He loves you and will think you a beautiful no matter what. I would also like to add that he is a guy. I am pretty sure that guys pay more attention to the girl IN the dress, then the dress itself. By saying that the dress was ugly, he may have really been paying attention to the model. I suggest asking him what he didn't like about the dress. If he says he doesn't know, then he probably doesn't care that much about the actual clothing. Good luck!

enlightened1

I agree with Tasha as well.  Once have the dress on and ask him what he thinks, he will have stars in his eyes. He won't even remember or believe that he ever said he didn't like that style! I think it's most important for you to be comfortable and feel beautiful in the dress, hands down.

jennlin

show him the dress again tomorrow...see what he thinks. i did this to my H, and his opinions changed day by day.......

Tygirljojo

I agree with PPs - he will think you're beautiful no matter what.  I'm sure DH wouldn't have picked out my dress for me if it was up to him, but he had the sweetest reaction when we saw each other for the first time.

That being said, it sounds like deep down, you really don't like the current dress you have?  Normally, I tell people to STOP looking at other dresses once they find their dress, otherwise they'll end up a 2-dress-bride (or in some cases a 3-dress-bride) who has an extra dress or two they need to get rid of.  Have you taken the dress to a seamstress to look at to see if it can be altered down to your size without it compromising the style of the dress?  I don't want to alarm, but 4 sizes is a fair amount to go and depending on the style of the dress, it may affect how it looks overall due to runching/beading/embroidery, etc.  I would check with a seamstress first before making any drastic decisions.

sarack

i agree with pp. i totally did this with fi, we even just browsed mori lee's website and without being suspicious askedh im what he thought about all of the dresses. he didn' like mine. on the wedding day he said i picked the perfect one, it was everything that he loved. then i told him i showed it to him and he hated it.. we both laughed.. do like jennlin said and show him in a few days.. his mind will change.. but don't jus show him that one, show him like 10 that have characteristics that are similar to your dress. unless is in the budget, thats your dress girl!

dreamwinds

Not to sound like a broken record, but I also agree with pp. He might not like the dress on the model, or in the picture, but dresses look different on different people.

I hate my dress on the model. It's not something I would have EVER picked out for myself, but on me, it's kind of... well, really nice. I am hoping he will like it too. But either way, I think he won't really be looking too much at the dress. And if he makes a comment, I'll just punch him in the nose. XD Well, not really.

jennyann28

Ditto PPs.  I played this game too (especially since I was deciding between two really different styles for a while).  He didn't like the ones I showed him that were similar to my dress.  But when he saw it, he said "That's a good dress!" and that it was very "me".  So don't worry, wear whatever you like!

dbraulik

I agree. What you wear won't matter. It's the day and the significance that matters/that will overshadow everything. I really, really wanted a silver wedding dress but couldn't find one in my budget. But DH thought that I did. So he went around for 7 months thinking my dress was silver and telling everyone that I was going to look beautiful in a hideous silver dress. In the end it wasn't silver but he said the dress was beautiful and perfect on me and that it "fit my style like it was made for me." If you love it and are happy and confident in it - that happiness will show to everyone that sees you.

Tygirljojo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_dress-dilemma-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:104Discussion:577c6c1b-99c3-48d2-935a-78321a02572dPost:277f993b-7e83-4686-8f51-37b84864f4da">Re: Dress Dilemma (Read - FI thinks it's ugly) :(</a>:
[QUOTE]But DH thought that I did. So he went around for 7 months thinking my dress was silver and telling everyone that I was going to look beautiful in a hideous silver dress.
Posted by dbraulik[/QUOTE]

LMAO, that is freaking AWESOME!  Part of me wanted to lead DH astray and let him think my dress was something different than it was, but he knows me too well where I don't think I could've kept the act up for long.

KatyDidlettes

I agree with other people but I just wanted to say good luck and to try not to worry I am sure he will think you are beautiful no matter what.