Gay Weddings

Inviting People to the Reception

Hey guys! This isn't specifically gay wedding related....but since I'm having a gay wedding I thought I'd just ask you guys.

We are planning to have our ceremony on a yacht cruise on the Mississippi River next summer. The only problem is that the maximum boat capacity is 65 people. Do you think it is ok to invite our closest 65 friends and family on the boat and then invite more people to the reception? I'm hoping people will understand that there is only so much room on a boat, but we still want to celebrate with them, hence the reception invite.

What do you think?

Re: Inviting People to the Reception

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_gay-weddings_inviting-people-to-the-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:44Discussion:8091f167-4a05-4b2c-9a69-fd4e3d7cb3a3Post:bcd07aad-082a-4c65-b038-359da336954a">Inviting People to the Reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hey guys! This isn't specifically gay wedding related....but since I'm having a gay wedding I thought I'd just ask you guys. We are planning to have our ceremony on a yacht cruise on the Mississippi River next summer. The only problem is that the maximum boat capacity is 65 people. Do you think it is ok to invite our closest 65 friends and family on the boat and then invite more people to the reception? I'm hoping people will understand that there is only so much room on a boat, but we still want to celebrate with them, hence the reception invite. What do you think?
    Posted by LuckeeClover[/QUOTE]

    Happy gay wedding!   So, unless you are truly going to have a private ceremony, this stinks of a tiered wedding.  A private ceremony would pretty much be immediate family only (20 guests or less).  When you invite 65 of your closest friends, it makes #65-100 or whatever, feel pretty crappy.  They will understand that the boat only holds so many people, but most (or at many) will wonder why John made the cut and they didn't.  Why did Aunt Sally, who you haven't spoken to in 5 years make the cut, but cousin Johnny didn't.  The cutoff will be very tricky, and people WILL get their feelings hurt. The reception part is to "receive" your guests and thank them for attending the wedding. So, if you have a truly private ceremony on your yacht and then a big party to celebrate after, that's fine. 

    65 people is really no longer private, and you are not only hurting people's feelings, you are going against etiquette.

    PS, I'm all for us creating our own rules for queer weddings. I did !  With that said though, most standard wedding etiqutte still applies.
  • Keeping it to 20 wouldn't even allow for most of my family to be there. I have to disagree with putting a number on what would be considered a private ceremony. I have a very large family, so that idea doesn't really work. A majority of the 65 are family, with just a handful of really close friends, who I would still consider family.

    I appreciate your advice, but after a lot of consideration, and talking to a lot of people we are moving ahead with the plan. I wouldn't really consider to be looking for a queer special here, since it is actually a fairly common idea, especially for destination weddings.
  • Tough question.  If there are a much greater number that you can't invite OR you really can't choose....make the cruise only for the closest of family and friends (maybe 12-15). Try only cake and champagne as a celebration following. Then hold an on shore reception the very next day for the entire group. 

    You will unfortunately possibly hurt some feelings.  Keeping it tight helps.  Inviting to the large party...success.

    Best wishes! 
    PS...we had 2 couples invite themselves 3 days before....our dentist and a "pushy" 2nd cousin.  We figured they'd take the place of the no shows :)
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